pain

Hey everyone - I hope you all had a good weekend. Since KU didn't make it to the Final Four, we didn't go to Atlanta, which is probably for the best. I have been having more pain the last few days, and my pain medication does not seem to be completely kicking it. I am sorry to Leanne and Chad that we had to cancel our plans on you. I was able though to go to my friend's son's birthday party Saturday morning, which was great fun for Ella and me. We also went to Deanna Rose for a little outing and had our neighborhood easter egg hunt too. So it was a fun weekend, but I wasn't able to do all I wanted because of the pain. This, to me, is very frustrating, that I am limited on what I can do, and I have to rely on others for help. I know what you all are going to say, but put yourself in my shoes, not many people like to rely on others, do you? So mentally this was a tough weekend. Normally I would cover this up and not tell anyone, but I don't want to paint the picture that I am great all the time, and fake my true feelings. I do that enough and figure I should be true to this experience and to you all of what I am going through.

A few people have asked about my initial symptoms that lead to my diagnosis. I want to address that, especially for those who may be experiencing some of the same symptoms and not sure if they should go get checked out. If you don't like hearing about some very personal (BM) info, you can skip this section... About six months after I had Ella I started having bowel problems, I guess you can call it constipation. I was only able to go little bits at a time and had to go more frequently because I couldn't get it all out. I would sometimes describe to my mother that it was almost like dust. I started to have lower abdominal pain which would cause me to crunch over at my waist and a small amount of blood in my stool once in awhile. I kept thinking I just had irritable bowel syndrome and put off going to the doctor until my mother kept pushing me, saying, Shawndra, this isn't normal. So, if any of you have any symptoms, please get it checked out. Also, you need to be persistent with the doctors if your symptoms are not going away, I initially went to a primary care doctor who didn't find anything, then a few months later went to a GI specialist who initially didn't think much of my symptoms, tried me on some medication for a couple weeks. I asked him if I needed to be scoped, he didn't think it was initially necessary but if symptoms persisted he said we would do one. So, the moral of the story, be persistent and pay attention to your body. Most people will not have my scenario, this is fairly rare, but it is better to be safe than sorry!!!

Okay, for those who skipped that section here is the rest... I am going in tomorrow for my PET/CT but probably won't get the results for a few days. I will also go in for my weekly bloodwork. I am going to contact my doctor to see what he recommends for pain. I guess part of me is scared what the pain may mean... is it the chemo working (ya), or is the cancer spreading? It has been an emotional weekend. Don't worry, that won't last, but I do have my moments.

Oh, I haven't seen myself on television. I think they are doing the series for one more week, so it could be this Monday, Wednesday or Friday evening, 6PM or 10PM on NBC. Maybe they didn't think they could use my interview though, so I may not be on. They never let me know for sure.

I will try to get a picture of Ella at the easter egg hunt out to you all soon. I need Doug for that part, as I am not computer savvy enough. I will let you know when I get some results from my scan tomorrow. Let's hope I don't forget that I can not have anything to eat or drink after 6:15 am. Ugh, I hope I don't have to drink barium, since the last CT scan, I get nauseous just thinking about it. Have a great week everyone! Shawndra