Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Feeling Good

Hey everyone- Well round one (again) went pretty well. I got a little nausea yesterday while I was at the cancer center, they got that under control right away and I have been doing good. I even had some energy last night and didn't feel helpless. I was up and around and doing pretty much everything I normally do.
I am getting ready to go have lunch with DOug for his birthday. Gotta celebrate as much as possible.
Oh, it worked! last night I told Ella if she didn't stay in her bed, I would shut the door and it would lock. She got out of bed, I stuck to my guns and shut the door. She cried for a little while but then settled back down and went to bed. When we went to check on her she was fast asleep in her bed! ahhhhh. Let's hope it gets easier each night.
Tomorrow I get my chemo pump off, ya! Then I will have a week and a half off until the next round. But I am (knock on wood) hoping to do 2 cycles or only 4 rounds of chemo, so one down atleast 3 to go! I pray that I will only have to do 2 cycles and my scans and CEA will continue to look good and I can get off chemo for atleast now if not FOREVER!!!! Thank you prayer warriors, the prayers are definitely working! I was given two years to live with this disease, in September I will surpass that prediction and continue to live, live, live. I hope to be the ripe young age of 95 like my grandma, well maybe... careful what you wish for, right! hehe.
Talk to you all soon. Shawndra

Happy Birthday once again, Doug!

Monday, April 28, 2008

Happy Birthday Doug

Doug's birthday is this coming Wednesday, so Happy Birthday Baby! I love you so much. It may not be an eventful day, unfortunately but we will try to make up for that on the weekend!
Hey everyone- I had my CT scan this morning, don't know any results yet but it made me sick. I pucked afterwards, ugh. It has always made me nauseous but never sick before. I am better now though and start up chemo tomorrow, again.
On another note, well, I just locked Ella's door, after she asked me too. Now she is crying. I told her she wouldn't like it if I locked the door. Now I just have to stay strong, I guess. So hard.
The lakehouse is thankfully still standing, there is some damage in a couple of bedrooms so there will be some significant restoration needed, but it could have been a whole lot worse. So we are upset but thankful at the same time.
That is what is happening in my world at the moment. I am a bit anxious for restarting chemo. I hope I don't have the agitation and extreme fatigue as I did last time. I also pray that the scan results are good and that when they redraw my CEA level that it continues to be normal.
Thank you all for you continued support along this journey. I truly hope to be able to say one day that I am cancer free. Even though they said it wasn't possible, sometimes the impossible can happen, right.
It might be a few days until I write. If I am not feeling well, I may not get on until I feel better and up to it. Take care everyone. shawndra

PS. Doug is the sucker this time! He just went in to Ella's room to console her.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

lakehouse fire

I think my family is cursed. Last night, my parents lakehouse got struck by lightening and was on fire. Thankfully nobody was there. Apparently it struck the toilet in the room we consider Doug and my room so thankfully none of us were sitting on the toilet at that time! The wonderful firefighters did get the fire out with the fire damaging only our bedroom and another room upstairs. They did have to punch holes in the ceiling of all the other rooms upstairs to make sure there was no other hot spots. So the rest of the house was spared, we think... but it still is quite a bit of damage. My parents are being positive and even though upset they are thankful everyone is okay and that the house didn't burn to the ground. They just built this house a year and a half or so ago, so this house is fairly new. Doug and I were ready to go out there last night and see if we could help move furniture, clean, etc. But my parents didn't think there was much we could have done last night. They want the insurance company to see the damage before things are cleaned up. Thankfully it didn't burn to the ground. The firefighters said, if it weren't for the insulation in the house, it would have. Just another event in my families life, as I said before...I believe we have been cursed these past two years. We weren't this eventful before.
On another note, I want to thank my anonymous neighbor for dropping off the childproof door locks this morning! That was very kind of you. I would someday love to meet you in person. It is so mysterious, the anonymous neighbor, hehe. I also should thank the person who awhile ago put angels and I believe Saint Mary on our doorstep. I never thanked the anonymous person who did that, so I need to thank them for those angels watching over our house.
Ella is in daycare today so I am actually going to get out and go get a pedicure with a friend and then have lunch with a few friends. This will be quite a treat for me! It is so nice to be getting out a bit more with the nicer weather and all. I have also enjoyed having the windows open in the house and sleeping with them open and the fan on.. isn't that one of the best things. I just love that feeling!
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know what is going on here. I would love to hear from you all and what you are doing, enjoying, struggling with (if you want to share, you don't have to). I just feel like it is all about me, me,me all the time and I get tired of that. I know kind of weird since it is my blog. Oh well. Enjoy the day! The sun is coming out here after the rainy weather the last day or so. ahhhhh. When you here from me again, I will finally have pretty toes once again, hehe. Shawndra

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

chemo postponed

Hey everyone- Well I am back from Omaha. It went well, I got my filter out with a little sedation and I mean a little. Usually they sedate me and I am out for awhile. This time, I rememeber most of the procedure, ick. It didn't hurt though, just felt some pressure around my neck, where they make the incision and thread the catheter or whatever it is down to grab the filter out.
I then saw Dr. Foster who was very pleased with my progress. He was impressed with the NORMAL CEA, he said, and even said I could be considered in remission. Even though that is to be taken lightly, we still don't know what is left in my pelvis area and he does have some concerns that would be where the cancer might show up again when and if it comes back, which it usually does. REmember this is supposed to be an aggressive cancer. That isn't to say though that sometimes it doesn't act like other cases, so we won't go by what happens to everyone else.
He did want me to get a CT before I started chemo again, and did recommend I do chemo for atleast 2-3 more cycles, which would be 2-3 more months. So I cancelled my chemo this week so I could get a CT before, so now it is all rescheduled to next week. Monday CT scan, Tuesday chemo. I still am not ready for chemo, I probably never will be, so I was kind of glad I didn't have it yesterday. I got to rest from my trip to Omaha most of the day which was nice. I want to thank my mom for going to Omaha with me. I am so blessed with the best mother in the world. She would do anything for Andrea and I and does do so much. She drops everything to help us out. I can't ask for a better mother! Even though I know some other really great ones, a lot of really great ones out there!!!
Ella is with me today. I have gotten some great advise about her sleeping I just need to go get one of those lock things. Unfortunately she doesn't have a lock at all on her door so I can't just turn it around. I will try one of those white locks. Ella and I have been hanging out together today, she is anxious to get outside and swing. Mommy is waiting for it to get a bit warmer before we head out. I have had a bit more energy lately which is great. I can't stand not having energy. Oh, I have also weaned myself off of my long acting pain medication and only take my short acting maybe once or twice a day as needed. I am not having the back pain as I was having prior to surgery. I think this surgery was a god sent!
I hope you all are doing well. I keep all my support system in my prayers, I hope you all are safe, happy and healthy! Not much else going on this week, just regular life, errands, etc. Thank you neighbors for all the food you are providing, that truly has been wonderful for DOug and I. I cooked once last week and it drained me completely. So we appreciate all of you so much. THank you Jenny for getting it all planned for us! Again, as I have said so much, we have incredible neighbors! Everyone have a great rest of the week. Enjoy the weather. I will talk to you all soon. Shawndra

Friday, April 18, 2008

Terrible Two's

Well Ella has definitely hit the terrible two's. She is really challenging us these days. She doesn't want to nap or go to bed and is not phased by the notty spot or taking away her prized possessions, or anything we throw at her (not literally). It can be really frustrating. How do you discipline a child who isn't bothered by these things?
I have some great news, I finally found out that my CEA level from a week or so ago was 2.7 which is very close if not in the normal range, depending on who you ask. This is incredible news, I can't wait to tell Dr. Foster when I go back up on monday and see what he has to say. I also want to recheck with Dr. McKittrick, to see if I still need to do chemo right away. Probably so, but I can still have wishful thinking! That doesn't necessarily mean I am out of the clear or in remission, the CEA doesn't tell us everything but that is still great that it is that low!!!! WEEEEEE. Thank you all for the prayers, please keep them coming, they seem to be working!!
It is once again a dreary day here. It was nice for a couple of days and now it is cloudy, rain yesterday and cold today. Ugh. No outside activities for us today. I am trying to get Ella down for a nap. I actually held the door shut for awhile, she is now in her room talking, but of course not sleeping. She gave up on the door. Is that too cruel? I felt a bit guilty but I don't know how else to keep her in her room for some down time. I know she is tired, she even told me this morning, she's been tired. Anyway, everything else is pretty good here. Doug is going to take his Nani back to her hometown where she is going to move into an apartment. I know this has to be very difficult going home without your husband. Especially after that many years but I know she will adjust in time and do well on her own! So Doug will be helping out with the move this weekend and I will be here with Ella so she can go to my nephew, Keaton's birthday party saturday. Then my mom and I leave for Omaha sometime Sunday because it will be an earllllly morning Monday for us, I have to be at the hospital early for my filter to come out. Oh, to answer one of the questions... a filter is a little umbrella like device they placed in vena cava to prevent clots from going to my heart and my lungs while i had surgery since I was off my blood thinner for surgery. They will take this out and I will again get back on my Coumadin which I will probably be on the rest of my life.
I hope everyone has a great weekend! I will let you know how things go Monday after I talk to Dr. Foster and get back to KC. Just in time to start chemo on Tuesday. What a week it will be.
I feel as if there was another question someone had for me that I have meant to answer but I can't think of it right now. Oh, it was a comment one of my neighbors sent. Thank you for emailing me, even if you haven't met me I still appreciate your thoughts and concern. You don't have to worry about what to say around me, anything is fine. I know everyone means well and really can't say much wrong. I would love to meet more of you out there, so please if you do pass by me, I would love it if you say hi.
That is all... I hope I haven't lost a lot of you from reading since I haven't been as committed to blogging lately. I finally got through all my emails from the time of surgery and thank you all for all your wonderful well wishes and comments. I am healing very well and hope to be impress Dr. Foster by how well I have done. Things haven't been to exciting lately, I know but please hang in there with me! I continue to need all your support and you have mine if you ever need it! You can always email me personally and chat. Live, laugh, love, shawndra
PS. Ella just came out of her room (no nap yet) and now has pantyhose on... how hilarious. She took her pants off and put on pantyhose while she was in her room. Oh, ya gotta love her! I just wish she wasn't so difficult these days.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


Hey Everyone- How are you all doing? I hope you are getting ready for some nicer weather here in KC, finally!! I am ready, bring it on! I had my doctor's appointment last week, it went well. He was just asking about the surgery, what they did, etc. He didn't have any details about the surgery yet. So we gave him the scoop and discussed getting back on chemo, which will start next week. It will be a busy week next week. Monday I go to Omaha to get my filter taken out under sedation and then see Dr. Foster for a follow up appointment. Then tuesday I will start up chemo again, which I am Really dreading! I am so tired of having no energy and trying to function with no energy. It is sooooo hard! I had that yesterday morning and Sunday afternoon. My body just didn't want to move I had so little energy. I finally got a second wind yesterday afternoon which was so nice. I could actually do a few things without it being painfully difficult. Especially with an energy packed two year old running around the house, oh my is that difficult! I talked to my mom yesterday and just broke down crying, thinking I can't do this!
The positive side is I really don't have much pain anymore. I am working on weaning myself off my pain medication which is great! I am so glad about that.
I haven't gotten results back yet from my labs. I just called the cancer center to find out about my protime (for my coumadin, blood clots) and also my CEA tumor marker. It still may not be great, because of the surgery, we will see.
I am sorry I haven't been writing as much, I really haven't been on the computer very much lately, again, the energy thing. Anyway, I hope you all are doing well. I hope this weather helps boost my energy a bit! Have a great week and enjoy the nicer weather while we have it! love, shawndra

Thursday, April 10, 2008

We won, we won!!!!

Oh my gosh, that was the most incredible game to be at! Thank you to Vidya Sharma for pushing me to go! I am so glad I did! I was a bit tired yesterday and on the way home was a bit tiring, but so worth it! It was so refreshing to be in warmer weather, it just felt so good and does a body good! I lasted all night too, how could I get tired with a game like that. We did start to get pretty quiet when we were down 9 points but thank god KU turned it up and got us back on our feet!
I have a doctors appointment today with my oncologist. So I will probably be heading back to chemo soon, ugh! I am completely dreading it and truly don't want to go back but what choice do I have. I guess I have the choice to not go back, but that isn't fair to my family! Especially after receiving this amazing gift of a wonderful surgery that got about 90% of the cancer out. I can't let things go now. I just hate feeling tired and useless on those chemo weeks. Maybe I won't feel that way this time. Positive thinking!
Ella is as energetic as always! Just all over the place, constantly wanting to go outside and play. even when it is cold, like yesterday. Thank you to Angie who is so helpful when i am exhausted, she helps me out with Ella. Ella loves her, so it isn't hard, she automatically goes to her some of the time. We are still struggling with her bedtime, getting out of bed several times. I want to put that "door" back on as she calls it. Last night though, she actually fell asleep in my arms, which I love! She wanted to rock more, I caved in and agreed and then she fell asleep. Another memory and moment to cherish.
Well, I will let you know what I find out from my doctors appointment. I have to go back up to Omaha on the 21st to get my filter removed and see Dr. Foster again. Then I will hopefully have complete clearance. Even though I feel like I have clearance now for most everything.
Everyone have a great week, I guess it will be the weekend here soon. I heard it could snow, yikes. Let's hope that is it and the weather starts turning warm from there on out! I need to start going for walks and getting some exercise and Vitamin D, from the SUN!!!! Talk to you all soon. shawndra

Monday, April 7, 2008

The Big Dance

Well- I guess I am heading out today to go to San Antonio for the final game tonight. It is crazy I know. One of our family friends kept calling yesterday checking on me to see if I was alright and then talking about how she was going to find a way down there. I thought she was kidding at first but she was totally serious. So she is going to fly with me down there today and my mom and dad and her family will be there to pick us up. again, it is crazy! I hesitated a lot since I have barely made it to the grocery store without getting tired. But maybe this is what i need to get myself up and at 'em. It should be fun! I am very excited.
We had a good weekend, watched the game saturday night with my sister and her family and another couple! We spent a lot of time outside yesterday playing on the swingset. Ella loves to swing! SHe could do that all day long. I just wish she could do it on her own so I don't have to push her all day. I could just sit in a chair and watch her and enjoy the outdoors. It will come sometime I am sure. anyway, I am feeling pretty good, no pain, which is great!!! I did get sick again yesterday out of the blue, very strange, but just once, so no big deal! I hope you all are doing well. I am so glad it is atleast sunny right now, that helps as the sun beats in as I type. I have to get in the shower though and our bathroom is always cold. I turned a space heater on in there so I am waiting for it to get warm! NOw you know all my habits. I will let you all know how the final game in San Antonio goes. Cheer on KU!!!! I hope I am not a jinx. have a great monday. shawndra

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Stomach Flu

Ewwwww, yes, I have been down with the stomach flu. That is why I haven't written in a few days. It started with a pounding headache on Sunday afternoon, right before the KU game. I just curled up to watch the game and I started not to feel so good to my stomach. Eventually the vomiting started and pretty much continued all through the night. I was basically just dry heaving the rest of the night. IT was miserable. Doug was up with me every time, standing at attention as I hurled into the bucket just waiting to take the bucket, clean it up and bring it back to me! What a husband!!! He is truly amazing. You all don't even realize all he does. He is always picking up my slack. and that is a lot of slack! It just seems to be one thing after another for me I just wish this bad dream would go away. So I have been hibernating again in the house, which it really hasn't been all that nice out yet that I can tell. So I don't know that I really want to get out anyway until it is a bit warmer! I am tired of cold, my body just can't handle it anymore!
I am on the mend but still not 100%, getting there though! I am working on eating little bits frequently so my stomach doesn't get overloaded. It won't allow much anyway, I think my stomach has shrunk quite a bit! Anyway, that is what I have been up to.
I was bummed because I turned down the opportunity to go to the final four. Doug and I both did. This is something we have done together in the past and love but unfortunately Doug doesn't want to take anymore work off than he has to and I don't think I really have the energy to go. I would love to be in San Antonio though this weekend!!! Ugh.
Well I hope you all are doing well, staying healthy and happy. Talk to you all soon. Shawndra