Darn Hormones

Hey everyone- Sorry, it has been so long since I wrote last. I am better now from that stomach bug. The getting sick part didn't last but 12 hours or so but I think it as well as just trying to keep up with daily life got to me. This Saturday I spent most of the day in bed, thanks to Doug, who cared for Ella all day, I was able to get some much needed rest. It didn't exactly perk me up all that much, I am still dragging a little bit. I think the chemo may be causing that. I did have a good weekend, we did get to have dinner with some friends friday night and celebrate my cousins birthday with my family saturday night.

We had our first Chucky Cheese experience on Sunday when we went for one of Doug's friend's daughter's birthday. It was a good time. Ella absolutely had a blast! I tell you, I think we have a basketball star on our hands, she loved to play the basketball game, throwing hoops with all the other boys!

I am going to explain the title of this blog. This morning I woke up and I was in tears, I am not exactly sure why, but I just felt like crying and that went on most of the morning. Poor Doug, I made him so nervous, he called my mom who attempted to keep that secret but I knew he had called. So, I was feeling a bit blue, some days, it gets to be overwhelming and... don't get nervous with this next statement, please, but it all seems too hard, maybe easier the other route (not fighting). Of course, that is not me, and I would not do that to my husband, to my daughter or to all my friends and family but it was one of those moments, ya know. I think, truly, that some of this stems from going off my hormone patch. As some of you know, I had to have a total hysterectomy with my surgery, so they placed me on hormones to help. No problem! Well, with the pulmonary emboli (blood clots), I had to go off the hormone patch. So this, I think, is why I was an emotional basketcase this morning. I sure hope this doesn't happen a lot. I don't like it one bit!

I am otherwise doing fairly well, my back pain is getting better. I haven't had to take quite as many drugs as I had been. Darn, right, ha! My mom cheered me up today. After my bloodwork, which seemed to be okay, except lower white blood cell count, normal with chemo, my mom, Ella and I went out to my parents lake house. It is only about 40 minutes away, so we got to play a little outside and do a few things my mom wanted to do inside. Then the neighborhood ended up congregating in our backyard after we had dinner outside, because it was soooo nice out! Of course, Ella wants to be outside as much as possible. Have I mentioned how much we love our neighbors. We have grrrrrrrrrreaaaaatttttttttt neighbors!

If you see me in the next few days, don't panic, I have a bit of a bruise on my nose, Ella clocked me with the remote control yesterday, with the blood thinner I am on, it definitely left a mark! I hope everyone is enjoying the nicer weather. Believe it or not, we had snow Friday night into Saturday morning and Doug and Ella made a snowman. ha. He is just barely still there in our yard. Actually probably not anymore after the kids were playing tag back there.

As you can see, I have my ups and downs, mostly ups but a few downs and life goes on, doesn't it! Take care everyone. love, shawndra