Saturday, March 28, 2009

My Favorite Photo & Remember MP3

click for larger photo

I miss Shawndra. And so does Ella. Heck, we all do. I'm not sure her passing has completely sunk in yet. I think I'm still experiencing a small state of mental shock.

Flashback to two Thursdays ago, at the funeral, and I remember for almost one hour, Shawndra's cousin, Pastor Les Beauchamp, so eloquently speaking about Shawndra. His words brought comfort and peace, knowing that Shawndra is still with us, in spirit. Thank you Les. Words cannot express how grateful we are.

A recording of Les's "rememberance" of Shawndra may be downloaded as an MP3 file from (Right-click on the link and choose "save link as". Here's a free media player to play it --

A heartfelt thank you goes out to all who donated to Solace House. I delivered the memorial contributions last week. I hadn't intended to use their counseling services, but after a tour, and very informative conversation with the director, I felt Ella and I could benefit. We start group therapy in April. Ella is dealing with this life changing event rather well, but I'm very concerned about her. For peace of mind, I think I need a professional to tell me "she's okay". I question whether my explanations are satisfactory to a three year old, and whether I'm saying the right things.

I photographed Shawndra approximately one hour before I asked for her hand in marriage. This is my absolute favorite photo of Shawndra. It was July 26, 2003. Next to a window, facing west, we sat in restaurant, at The Elms Resort, in Excelsior Springs. The sun cast a warm hue upon Shawndra's face. I remember how her eyes glistened. How her smile lit up the room. She was so full of life that night. I remember how she made me feel, knowing I would soon be asking her to spend the rest of our lives together. Ah... the memories. I must have stared at this photo for over half the duration of the funeral service. I'll probably bookmark this post and click on the photo many times. I want to especially thank my Uncle Malcolm for preparing all the photos displayed at the services.

These past two weeks have been difficult. So many family members, friends, care providers, and even strangers, have made it bearable. And for that, I thank you.

There has been some speculation whether this BLOG would continue. Honestly, I don't know. A few months ago, we were "taking things", one-half day at at a time. I think it's improved to one day at a time. Ella is my number one priority in life now. She and I are figuring this out together, one step at a time.

One last thought before wrapping up this post...

Immediately following the graveside service, several of us released butterfly shaped, helium-filled balloons, in honor of Shawndra. While most were carried up by the westerly winds, mine, and a few others, got caught in the trees, directly above Shawndra's grave. At first I was disgusted with my failed attempt to release the balloon so that it would fly around the tree. Then I asked myself, how would Shawndra handle this situation. Would she have been angry? Disappointed? Of course not, she would have laughed. And that's what I did, as I exclaimed to the remaining bystanders, "Shawndra wants that butterfly balloon stuck in the tree above her so she can see it!" If there's one thing I learned from Shawndra, in our brief years as husband and wife, it's that you have to let yourself see the "good" in almost any situation. Thank you, sweetie. You showed me once again.

- Doug


Anonymous said...

It is a truly beautiful picture of a truly beautiful woman. Thanks for sharing with us, Doug. I hope you know that we still pray for you and think of you often. Thank you for uploading the words from Shawndra's cousin. I wasn't able to be there, but many people have told me about it. It will be nice to hear the words myself. I truly believe that you and Ella will find your way and that you are doing the very best for her. I hope you know that if you need anything many of us are out there to call on at anytime. God bless you!

Susan Beaver McRae

Terri said...

Bless you, Doug. You are handling the immeasurable loss of your wife and partner with incredible grace. May you always remember the funny moments and find solace in the laughter that you and Shawndra shared.

I lost my mom to cancer last February and there are days when the grief still feels new and raw. But thankfully those days are getting fewer and further apart.

Please take care of yourself and sweet, precious Ella, and post if and whenever you feel the urge to update those of us who don't know you personally.

Most importantly, may you feel surrounded by the love of your family, friends, and our Heavenly Father as you learn to find your way without your sweet wife. You all will continue to be in my prayers.

Lorna Taylor said...

Beautifully stated, Doug.

I noticed that you got up and adjusted this particular photograph immediately before the church services began, as if you wanted to create a perfect vantage point from which you could view it. Now I understand why. :-)

Thanks for sharing your special memories with all of us.

Sarah70 said...

What an awesome picture to remember Shawndra by. My heart goes out to you Doug and to Ella. I dont really know what to say. I just want you to know that your in my thoughts/prayers. And that Shawndra has touched so many people and inspired us all. She truly is a hero. She will be Ellas and your angel until the 3 of you meet again. God bless you and Ella.
Love, Sarah

Astraea said...

Gorgeous photograph. I bet she looked even more amazing after you purposed! Of course we would all love for you to continue the blog, but do what's best for you. You're always in my thoughts and prayers

Anonymous said...

You do not know me but your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Chrissy said...

You don't know me but I have been following Shawndra's story for a while. She is a beautiful person and showed that in her love for you and Ella in each entry. I have prayed for you and Ella during this time. There really aren't words here...but I just wanted to let you know that I feel blessed to have followed Shawndra. Thank you for sharing this beautiful picture and your touching thoughts. God bless you and your sweet baby girl.

Ozark, MO

Anonymous said...

Thank you Doug for sharing such a special memory with us. I pray for you and Ella every day. It is so hard to try and figure out where to go from here. How to continue life as you knew it? I don't know the answers but I know that God will see you through this. My sister died when my nephews were 10 and 3 so I know the struggle you face trying to know exactly what to say. You are a great dad and God will give you the right words to say. You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for posting that beautiful photo. My husband and I were married at the Elms, i can see you hold a special memory there too. You are doing the right things, Doug, by being present to Ella and making sure her basic needs are met. Also, being open to professional support is also a right thing to do, hopefully it will be beneficial to both you and Ella.
Thanks for posting Les's words, i appreciated hearing them as i was unable to attend the memorial for Shawndra. She has left a legacy with her laughter and love for life. May you be comforted by your close friends and family and be blessed with peace at this very difficult time. sincerely, amy graver beers(a childhood friend of Shawndra)

Anonymous said...

I too check here still....

Checked on her too at the Memorial Gardens when I visited my dad's site......

I can see why this photo is your favorite, she looks beautiful.

Thank you for posting.

Beth B.

Anonymous said...


God will guide you to find the right words to use with Ella. Have faith in the Lord, pray often for His guidance and wisdom and you will never be lead astray.


Anonymous said...

I am glad to hear you are going to counseling if for no other reason than peace of mind. The situation is not ideal, but you, your family and friends have enough love left over that was meant for Shawndra, and Shawndra left plenty behind as well. I remained convinced that you and Ella will do fine and live a very happy life. That is what we all wish and pray for, and no doubt Shawndra did as well.
WWSD -What would Shawndra do? Look for the good and laugh often.

Anonymous said...

I miss her too......Jenny

Anonymous said...


I remember this picture from the funeral, and I thought it was beautiful when I saw it, but to know that you took it and at such a wonderful day for the two of you makes it that much more special - thank you for sharing it with us.

I also adored the picture of you two sitting at the table at your wedding. I could see the love between the two of you. As an old friend of Shawndra's who never got to meet the two of you together - it means so much to know that she found such a wonderful man as you.

I will forever think of Shawndra when I see butterflies.

My prayers and thoughts, Mandy Hamlin Featherston

Anonymous said...

she is gorgeous.. thinking of you & Ella--

Anonymous said...

Your wife was just beautiful and her spirit can be felt. I just wanted to tell you I read your post about making sure your daughter was okay... I had the same feelings about my son when his brother passed. It helped me a lot to talk to a professional and have them tell me what he was feeling was "normal". Do what feels right for you!

My thoughts are with you and your daughter!

Anonymous said...

I just listened to Les' words from the Memorial Service. They were amazing and I'm so glad I took the time to listen. I didn't know Shawndra except through this blog but her life has touched me so deeply. I'm inspired to laugh, love and live as Shawndra did. I love how Les put this: we need to RSVP to Jesus to go to Heaven. I am convinced that Shawndra's life will be a testimony to how many people will be in heaven because of her. Thank you for sharing this. Take care Doug & Ella. I will continue to pray for you!

Anonymous said...

Even though I never knew Shawndra or anyone in you family I have been following her story. Today I listened to the service. What an amazing women she was. I know you and Ella will be forever surrounded by loving family and friends. Shawndra was so uplifting and happy ~ that legacy will carry on through Ella. I will continue to think of you and wish you the best.

crazeemommy said...

Hello Doug,

What a beautiful picture! I found Shawndra's blog almost a year ago when my mom was diagnosised with rectum cancer. Shawndra brought light when our world was at its darkest. I am praying for you, Little Ella, and your family.
God bless!

Terra Shover said...

What a beautiful picture of dear Shawndra, and an even more beautiful memory. Thank you for continuing to share the journey with us, as us Prayer Warriors continue to lift your family in prayer.

Your strength, honesty, and grace never cease to amaze or inspire me.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra was such a wonderful person. She helped me so much as I battle cancer also. I will miss her so much....reading her blog every day...I hope you can keep us posted on you and your little Ella. This would help me so much watching Ella and knowing that Shawndra is watching over you and her...she loved you both so much!
Bless you, Sue

Don MacLeod said...

Hey Doug

Pastor Beauchamp’s remembrance of Shawndra has a home on my IPOD. I’m looking forward to a warmer day, when butterflies cross my path choreographed to the good Pastor’s words. It is going to be beautiful.

Hold Fast & God bless you and yours.
Don MacLeod

Jennifer O said...

Beautiful photo - thanks for sharing.

Please continue to write - not necessarily here on the blog, but for your personal journey thru grief. Down the road, it could also help Ella as she matures and learns of the love you shared together, the loss that tore a hole in your family and your own courage & strength to move forward. A lot has been learned from Shawndra's journey for all of us...however, for's only just begun! With her mother's spirit, your hand to grasp & guide and all the love that surrounds her, she is certain to become an amazing woman and accomplish great things!

God Bless!

Jennifer O

Joyce Smith said...

Dear Doug,
How wonderful to find this beautiful picture of Shawndra on the blog. I am sure she would feel so proud of you for taking the time to keep in touch. I remember even in her sickest days, she wanted you to send us, strangers though we be, her love. What a blessing! Thank you. Joyce

Anonymous said...

Hi Doug,

Thank you for taking the time to update us. Thank you especially for sharing that beautiful service with us. A beautiful service to honor a beautiful woman who lived an amazing life.

Oh, and what a wonderful picture and story. I bet that high-voltage smile went into overdrive once you popped the question :)

You, Ella, Andrea and the rest of the Turner/Beauchamp family are never far from my thoughts these days.

What a blessing that you and Ella have one another to hold on to during this dark time. You are in the thoughts and prayers of many.


jg in ca

Anonymous said...

Doug and Ella-

Thank you for still continuing Shawndra journey with us. She is deeply missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Just know we are here for you all! God Bless you all!

The Mudge Family

bahama mama said...


Someone at the NAIA Tournament, of all places, told me how wonderful of a place Solace House is. I am glad you will be returning. You are not alone.
Ironically, I just emailed Les before checking the blog. His celebration of Shawndra's life was wonderful.
I miss her. I miss you, Ella and the Beauchamps, as well. I hope to see you very soon. In the meantime, take care of yourself and your beautiful daughter. I love you both very much.

Love, d

Mommy said...

What a beautiful picture. I am still praying for you guys and hoping for peace and happiness in the years to come.

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Dear Doug, First of all I would like to just give you a thought about the Blog. I know you want to have it preserved for Ella, which is an AWESOME, but the other half of this story may also be awesome for her to read someday. I mean, its such a BEAUTIFUL love story that anytime you write, its something Ella can always have. There will be things you will forget. Trust me. You can't imagine that but it happens. You could call it volume 2 & seperate it from the rest. Because, everything you write is a beautiful memory of her mother & how proud you are making Shawndra. Its just a thought. Even if you don't use the Blog, writing everyday somewhere- here, journal, ect. is therapy for you.
Also, I just want you to know that reading this Post makes me hope that my husband would write something that beautiful for me. It truly was a beautiful tribute, even though you were only writing what you felt. You have a way with words & are very good at expressing yourself.
On a different note..., from someone who has lost a love in his prime, I know where you are at, RIGHT now. Its tough. Grief is a lonely road, even with family & friends around you. Losing a spouse is different than most grief b/c the person that comforts & consoles you & knows you better than anyone else, is the one that you are grieving for.
Time will help you get THROUGH it. Not over it. You will never entirely get over this but thats good. You wouldn't want forget.
I will tell you from experience..., DONT IGNORE THE SIGNS. She will give you many so you know shes there as long as you need her. She will be with Ella always.
I remember feeling like I would/ could NEVER be whole again. I couldn't imagine loving again, feeling normal again. I visited the cemetery daily for almost a year & then continued to visit weekly for another couple years & now whenever I want to, to talk & say hello & THANK YOU for EVERYTHING that had happened in my life since then. I KNOW he had a hand in the entire direction my life took. NOTHING was by accident. NOTHING would he disapprove of. I realized my happiness is what mattered to him now.
After a few years of missing him- even though I still do, many times - I was on my way to the gym on a Friday night. I was feeling pretty lonely. There were all kinds of cars w/ spouses driving by me, smiling, all dressed up, going out & here I was the only one going to the gym on a Friday night. I remember talking to him & telling him how different it would be if he were here right now & how much I missed him & how alone I felt.., I heard that voice in my head saying YOURE RIGHT. But I didnt think much of it, felt like it was me just talking to to the gym, saw the nicest face there. Kind, smiled @ me. I didnt think anything of it until the next Sat. when I saw that face again. Something felt weird, like I knew this face or something? Like I knew it. Still a very nice person. After another couple weeks of casual talking, he asked me out. I accepted and we talked about my tragic loss & just about everything. He was nice & understanding & I was surprised I even was there after so long with NO interest in anyone. He asked me to come on his boat over memorial day weekend and I accepted. Well, guess what? When I got there, I couldnt BELIEVE my eyes..., it was my deceased ones boat. I had been on that boat for 3 prior Memorial Days, he sold it a bit before he passed. I asked my date where he got that boat? He told me his name, which WAS his name & I told him THAT was him. He told me how much he had liked him. Drank a few beers with him the day he bought the boat, ect.
I remembered back to the Friday night before the gym. It made sense to me. He watched out for me, ALWAYS. My heart was not broken by anyone with him watching over me. He picked me up & helped me in every aspect of my life. I think he was horrified, watching me cry for him everyday. I think that he was so happy & glorified that the only thing that worried him was me. I guess he thought 2 years of that heavy of grief was way too long.
When I started commenting on Shawndras Blog, I was Vickie Kruse. Somewhere in there, I became Vickie Wieberg..., all I can say is that a life I cherished & loved living, disappeared & I NEVER thought I would get through the devestation & shock.
Never say never. You don't know what lies ahead. What God or Shawndra have in store for you. You are young & a wonderful father and this feeling won't last forever- Thank Goodness.
I still have 10 journals that I wrote in everyday until that part of my life didnt need to write anymore. Ive never looked @ them but they are there.
I smile all the time still at something that reminds me of him & I still get occasional signs from him. I thank him all the time. I feel very lucky to have had each of these men in my life and now the third..., our son.
Life is a journey. I hope you continue the Blog. GREAT JOB on the counseling. GREAT JOB, PERIOD. God Bless my friend, Vickie Wieberg in J.C..Mo.

Jennifer (jkincolorado) said...

What a beautiful post. Thank you for the update, you and your family has been in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful photo...but also what a beautiful woman...inside and out. I have thought of you so often and prayed that you are doing well. A good friend of mine works at Solace House, and it is supposed to be an amazing place. Know so many people are thinking of you all and praying for you.


Rachel said...

What a beautiful picture of Shawndra.

I have been thinking of you and Ella and hope that you both will be ok. I think it is great that you both will be joining the group to help you with your grieving.

Love and Prayers

RAchel (Lee's Summit, MO)

Anonymous said...

Doug, I do hope you will continue with the blog...Shawndra meant so very much to so many of us. hearing how you and Ella are doing and keeping up with your families will help us to heal from our loss as well as your healing. Ella will always know of her Mother's love and through this blog she will discover all of the people her Mother touched in her short years here...praying for all of you. ~blessings~
from a Mama in Illinois

Michele said...

I just can't believe she's gone. Even though we never met, her blog was there throughout my entire cancer journey. I feel lost without her blog updates.

Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,
Beautiful words to read. Thank you for once again sharing your thoughts.
The Celebration service of Shawndra's life was so touching and Les gave a wonderful message on living, laughing, loving and learning. Hearing it made me want to incorporate more of that in my life! It was so honoring to Shawndra and I'm sure she loved it.
Continue to journal on the blog and let us all know how you and Ella are doing and also so that people can continue to pray for you and encourage you. It is a new chapter of your life for sure. As Shawndra shared her journey with cancer, she also shared her journey with fears, hope, and faith. It reached so many people and impacted so many lives. Your story will too!
Thoughts, prayers and blessings,
Marilyn Harbrecht

Metastatic Liver Cancer said...

Douglas, Ella and family,
our condolences and lots of hugs
(came her tru Wellsphere).


AlanaBD said...

Hi Doug,

The picture of Shawndra is gorgeous! And, the church service was so touching! I am still praying for you, the rest of the family, and dear little Ella. It's great to hear that you are going to get counseling at the Solace House.

I REALLY hope that you continue this blog, as SO many friends would love to know you are doing. I am planning a trip sometime in mid June to KC, and it's going to a priority to come and visit you and meet your precious daughter!

Shawndra has inspired me to blog, so I have joined this week!

((HUGS)) to you, Doug!


Robyn said...

Do you know about ? He is a widow also. He is appearing on Oprah soon. He started a foundation for his wife. Hope you and Ella are doing well. Sending prayers your way!

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful lady. I read the entire blog over the last few days. What a great personality even during the toughest times. She is someone I would have liked to know. I hope you are doing ok Doug. I am sure Ella is a source of great comfort for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to say that I think about Shawndra and you guys often, and I still stop by daily to check the blog, or read an old post I might be thinking about. Have a quiet weekend, and hold Ella close. Shawndra will always be with both of you.

Desiree Rose said...

I am not sure who monitors the comments but I wanted to share a link for you to review that is sort of like the Jennifer Ireland foundation but the other end - the widow help. This man lost his wife 27 hours after his baby was born and has started a foundation to help others with recent tragedy in the family with kids. Hope it helps

Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,

I think of you and Ella everyday. I am glad you are getting some counseling to deal with your loss.

I have every confidence that you will continue to be a great parent to Ella and you extincts will lead you to do and say the right thing.

Love, Marny

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Dear Doug, Andrea, Shawndras parents, Dustin & especially Ella, Just wanted to drop you a line & let you know I think of you daily. I think of Shawndra too. Please know you are in so many prayers! God Bless, Vickie Wieberg

Jennifer O said...

Just wanted to drop by to let you know that I was thinking of you this weekend.

Friday afternoon I was in Manhattan visiting friends and getting my hair done when I spun around in the chair and had to do a double take as I saw a woman who resembled Shawndra! She had beautiful longer red hair and freckles with a smile ALMOST a bright as Shawndra. I am sure she wondered why I was staring her direction, but when I saw caused me to stop in my tracks. At that instant, my thoughts immediately went to Shawndra and her family. I was having a very rushed week and as I sat and thought about Shawndra for a fe reminded me to enjoy the moments in my life and not rush be present in the little moments in my life...appreciate each day and the possiblities.

God Bless!

Anonymous said...

Doug, My oldest child is named Douglas..a name that I love. I am wondering how you are doing and how sweet Ella is. I realize with her so young a lot of this emotion and loss will not sink in for several years..yet, her little heart surely must know that her Momma is no longer there with her. Little ones seem to have a way of 'moving past' so much compared to we adults. Her love for her Momma will always remain and she will always feel a closeness to her. My prayer for you is that you can somehow trudge through these first days and hold tight to the Lord and all of those who love you and Ella.........~love~ is the only way for some of us to survive such a horrid loss.

Know you are in so many of our prayers and that we hold fast with you through these hard days. .....
~blessings~ from a mama in Illinois

vickie Wieberg in J.C.,Mo. said...

Doug, Ella & family of Shawndra, Just had to jot down that I was thinking of you & checking on you again. I think of Shawndra everyday. I feel like I miss her here, even though I only knew her through the Blog. When I think of that, I immed. think of all of you, because if I miss her, than I cant imagine how you feel. God Bless from Vickie in J.C.,Mo.

joyce smith said...

Like others, I still check in here every day. I LOVE the picture of Shawndra, with the light in her eyes. Joyce

Anonymous said...

Hope you and Ella are doing well and leaning on eachother for love and support. I pray for your strength during your first family holiday without Shawndra this weekend. Please know that many are thinking of you constantly.

Anonymous said...

Hi Doug,

We are keeping you and Ella in our thoughts and prayers. I know you are learning to live in a new reality, but I can't imagine how difficult that process must be. I can only pray for you all, and keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

jg in ca

joyce smith said...

Happy Easter, Ella. I hope the Easter Bunny brings you wonderful surprises! Love, Joyce

Anonymous said...

Doug- Thank you for sharing on the blog. I think of you and your family daily and you are in our prayers. I often think of what we could possibly do for you to be of help. I know you are so particular re: the lawn (Shawndra told me so several years ago). As a single parent, it has to be hard to find a time when you can mow when Ella isn't out in the yard with you. As we enter lawn mowing season- (May is lawn mower safety month) if there is a way we can come over to play regularly or take Ella with us to Deanna Rose or something just call or text and we will be there. Kevin sees children every year who are accidentally mowed over and it is just tragic- it has even happened to children of nurses. So I have to comment here so that others know too. Aidan asks re: Ella in reference to play dates and I have video footage of Shawndra & Ella over for play dates that I would like to give you someday.
I hope you are enjoying the beautiful day and that you have a wonderful Easter- We can all celebrate His miracle and look forward to the day we meet our loved ones in Heaven, in the meantime- keep your head up and know you are loved. Thank you again for sharing here on the blog.

Vickie Wieberg said...

Dear Doug & family,
Thought of you all on Easter. Thought of Shawndra & how there must be a beautiful party going on up there for the meaning of Easter, being that Jesus rose from the dead & promised eternal life! I bet Easter is only second to Christmas.
I hope the Easter bunny made Ellas day special & I hope that she, and you, are doing o.k.? God Bless your family, Vickie Wieberg in J.C., Mo.

Anonymous said...

I never had the honor of meeting any of you but still think of you all daily. Shawndra's wit and humor was dynamic. I bet Ella is keeping you all happy and making you laugh and smile each and every day. Hope you all are doing ok.

Anonymous said...

Praying that your doing well. Hope you had a blessed Easter.


Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today, and of how difficult this month must've been for you. Continued prayers for you and beautiful Ella. We now Shawndra is looking down on you and I hope that you both can feel her love.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you all today and always!


Anonymous said...

I just wanted to share this beautiful song. It makes me thing of Shawndra everytime I hear it.

Anonymous said...

oops here is the link

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today as I do so often. I also heard the song someone posted the link to and immediately thought of Shawndra. I continue to keep Shawndra's family in my prayers. Her spirit lives on in the love and memories we have of her. God Bless you,

Anonymous said...

Hi Doug,

Just a quick note to let you know that I keep you, Ella and all of Shawndra's family and friends in my daily prayers.

I can't imagine how hard it has been for you all; I miss Shawndra and I was not lucky enough to have met her in person. I pray that you all are able to enjoy this beautiful world while you learn this new way of living.

Sending many prayers and hugs,

jg in ca

Jennifer O said...

Thinking of Shawndra today, praying for her family & friends!

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

I just read the tribute to Shawndra in the KC Star and it was a beautiful article. You can sense from it the love that Shawndra had for her family and life! Just know that she is missed and thought of everyday. God bless and take care.

Vickie Wieberg said...

I too, thought the article was a beautiful tribute & I finally got an answer to my long standing question of..., Who is the oldest, Andrea or Shawndra?
This article finally said something about Shawndras birth order. I had always wondered, just out of curiosity. I was a bit surprised, because she had the drive & courage of an oldest child ( Can you tell I am AN OLDEST ) Ha!
I continue to check on you guys daily & know you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope you feel Shawndra ALL AROUND you, because she is. God Bless, Vickie in J.C.,No.

Anonymous said...

I would love to read the tribute article and couldn't locate it using Google. Could someone post the link?

Anonymous said...

I was taking a walk yesterday and a butterfly landed on my foot. I thought it was hurt and leaned over to pick it up, but the butterfly flew away as soon as I did this.

I thought immediately of your Shawndra and said a prayer for you all.

jg in ca

Anonymous said...

This is a beautiful tribute, very fitting.

jillian said...

Doug and Andrea,
You do not know me. My name is Jillian Cartwright and I live in PV, we moved here from Chicago two years ago. I never ever read the Kansas City Star but something made me grab one the other day while at the park with my kids. I opened to Shawndra's beautiful photo and then of course could not stop reading. Im sorry to say I relate too well to this story. I lost my best friend/cousin to what started as colon cancer last September. Her story was almost exactly Shawndra's. Dr. Claudia Cartwright was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer 4 weeks after giving birth to her only daughter Catalina. It was a very long 3 years, chemo, radiation, elective meds. Claudia was cancer free for about 11 months at one point. Unfortunately the cancer returned to her heart. We often joked that OF COURSE it would come back there, her heart was so big. It was about 10 months from when we discovered the heart cancer to when she passed. She was at the Cleveland Clinic most of that time so I was going back and forth this past summer... hoping, praying, wishing she would have some recovery.
I could go on and on, but my kids are pouncing. I will write more in a bit when I have time.
I just wanted to reach out to you in some way. Her husband and daughter are doing okay...some days better that others. I have sisters, a husband, children and I cant imagine your pain. If there is anything I can do...