Sunday, March 15, 2009

Love You Shawndra Forever

March 15, 2009 at 3:10PM will forever be marked in my mind, and hopefully yours as well. This is when our sweet Shawndra passed into the arms of Jesus, thereby freeing her of pain and suffering. Her family prayed over her. Her family cried for her. And to me, time stopped as images of joyful memories rushed by, as she took her last breaths.

Just a short time ago, I shared with Ella that her mommy was in heaven, without a tummy ache, loving us, and watching over us, alongside Jesus. Ella, in her gentle innocence, clapped and exclaimed "yeah, mommy doesn't hurt anymore!". Thank God for Ella.

Shawndra touched so many lives during her brief 33 years. She will be missed immensely, but never forgotten.

More information regarding a celebration of Shawndra's life will be posted soon. Thank you family, friends, doctors, nurses, and strangers, for your unconditional love and support. Our family could not have done it without you.

"Shawndra, I love you forever." - Doug
"Mommy, I love you all the time... even when I can't see you." - Ella

- Doug


RMCarter said...

I have been quietly reading along for a while now, and I was touched by Shawndra's story. She has left quite a legacy for Ella.

My heart and prayers are with you and your family.

Sheila (Phoenix) said...

My prayers are with you,Ella and all Shawndra's family.

I had never met Shawndra but she taught me so much.

God Bless you

Christine said...

God bless you all! I will not stop praying for you during this difficult time. What a sweet precious woman Shawndra was! And her daughter clearly has her personality. How great it will be for you all to see Shawndra so vibrant through her daughter as she grows up! What a blessing your sweet Ella truly is. I wish you all the best!

Anonymous said...

Doug, I am so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful little girl you two created, and I am thankful that you will always have a piece of Shawndra in Ella.

Karah said...

Doug, I've been following your blog. My heart aches for your family. Our family is in the exact same situation. I know God will bless you with peace during this difficult time. Our prayers have been and will continue to be with all.

Anonymous said...

Doug,Ella and all of her family,

I am so SORRY...she was an amazing women..her words so compelling..which always brought me back to check on her....Ella you are a little mini her and she loved you so much...which you will see in her words...I wish my husband had a blog with his is so special and important to have!!


Kitty,Hannah and Matthew

Anonymous said...


You were Shawndra's angel. Now you have your own special angel in heaven watching over you & Ella. You will forever be in my prayers.

nancygrayce said...

Family, know that you are prayed over! Doug, you have a big job ahead raising Ella. But with God's help (and family ) you can do it and do it well. I know you are hurting now and I pray God will comfort you all.

Blommy Mogger said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts.

Lorna Taylor said...


What an extraordinary wife you were loaned from God!

Astraea said...

Thank you for sharing her with us. You and Ella will always be in my prayers.

God speed, beautiful Shawndra...God speed.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra's bubbly personality really captured me when I first glanced at her cancer blog. I soon made sure to check it daily and was elated with her victories over this disease and greatly sorrowed when the cancer began to prove stronger than her human body.

It took my breath away when I checked in tonight and saw that the end of Shawndra's earthly journey had come. I hate to see her voice silenced, but rejoice that her struggle and pain have ended and what a legacy she leaves in her beloved daughter, spouse, family, friends, and even strangers that have come to care so much for her!

You're all in my thoughts and prayers. She fought the good fight!

Anonymous said...

"We will be known forever by the tracks we leave."

Shawndra touched more people in her lifetime than most of us could ever imagine. Her sweet, funny soul will forever remain in our hearts.
Ella- you have an angel watching over you.
Wishing peace and comfort to you all,

Jessica Guten

Anonymous said...

So sad for you, Ella, and the rest of the family, yet quite comforted knowing that Shawndra will be walking with Jesus ... free of the pain. I'm so thankful that we got to know her and love her. Prayers are with you all.

Love Russ and Pam

Anonymous said...

Doug and Ella,

We have all learned so much from your beloved Shawndra over these past 2+ years. She was an amazing person and has left an amazing legacy of inspiration and courage.

To the Beauchamp's and Turner's, my prayers are with you during this most difficult time. But as was said in the post, she is now FREE of cancer and will suffer no more; so let us celebrate the wonderful life that she had.

Jeremy Dirkes

Anonymous said...

The pain is gone, but so is my friend. I will love her and keep her in my heart forever.

Peace be with you all.

Love, dustin

Anonymous said...

Our love and sympathy to all the family and friends who loved Shawndra. She will be deeply missed.
Matthew 5:4 "Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted."
Matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God."
May God comfort you as only He can-
Marilyn and Jim

Anonymous said...

Thank you Shawndra. Because of you I hug my children a little tighter each day. Thank you. Have a wonderful trip "home".
Love and Thanks,

Anonymous said...

Deeply sorry for your loss. May God pour his richest blessings and love on you and Ella and the entire family. But I especially pray for peace and comfort. Thanking God for Shawndra's amazing life and how she has touched so many others. God Bless.
Marcia Pecora

Anonymous said...

To Doug and Ella and your beautiful, loving family...

We were so greatly saddened at hearing of the loss of Shawndra this evening from Krissy. She was a brave and courageous woman, and the legacy she has left behind is great. Praise God she is with Him and free of pain now.

In times like these, I have often been comforted by a quote from Khalil Gibran, "Mayhap a funeral among men is a wedding feast among the angels." I know the feast is grand and the celebration is great tonight in heaven.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Kelly, Chuck, & Kaitlin Zang

Anonymous said...


Thank you for sharing your wife with us over the past couple years. You boh are amazing people. Please share the following with Ella:

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

Shawndra has left a beautiful gift for Ella in this blog.

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Anonymous said...

Doug and family, I am so very sorry Shawndra's inspirational story had to end this way. May you be surrounded by love and peace.

Anonymous said...

It is believed that Jesus was also 33 years old when he died on the cross. Someday Ella, when you are probably a teenager, you will ask yourself - who was my mother and why did this happen this way? At that time you will have this book and you will see that she was a woman, a mother, a sister, a wife, a friend, and so much more. She turned heads with her beauty inside and out. She saw Gods beauty in the world and through her the world saw His beauty in her. As for why this happened, you may never get the answer to that question in this lifetime. Sometimes people die because of sin, sometimes because of the sin of other people, and sometimes so that God can be glorfied. Your mother did more in her short time on earth in the hearts of people than many others do in their entire lifetimes. Your mom went on a new journey, but rest assured she is still with you in spirit. When you grow up and you are having a particular problem in life or a difficult time - difficult times come to all of us - I would like for you to remember that your mom did not give up. She was a fighter and her strength is in you.

Anonymous said...

I cry tears for you. I pray that the family finds peace in knowing she is no longer suffering. I pray that you find comfort in the days, weeks and years to come. Your little Ella will be helpful in that journey.
God Bless,

Anonymous said...

Doug & family,

Please accept my deepest sympathies. Although I have only "known" your family through this blog, I feel blessed to have had the chance to do so. You are all amazing people and remain in my thoughts and prayers.


Naomi in GA said...

I have been w/ you all for 3 years now, Shawndra and I would call each other e-sisters since we were emailing or she called or I called..and texted, I miss her so much already-but Im thankful shes free of that awful hurt and disease.
Doug&Ella your wife/mommy was my battle buddy- I will miss her push telling me"be brave get those tests and push on" but I feel her spirit already.
I love you dear Shawndra Ill never forget you have left a empty place in my heart but it will be filled w/memories of you!
Thinking of you all in deepest heartfelt sympathy...if you need anything call me the number is programed in her cell.
LOVE YOU ALL and now you can say dear Ella you have a TRUE ANGEL for a mommy! but we all knew she was an angel on earth from day one! LOVE ETERNAL..Naomi,Doug and Adam (our 3yr old)

Naomi in GA said...

I have been w/ you all for 3 years now, Shawndra and I would call each other e-sisters since we were emailing or she called or I called..and texted, I miss her so much already-but Im thankful shes free of that awful hurt and disease.
Doug&Ella your wife/mommy was my battle buddy- I will miss her push telling me"be brave get those tests and push on" but I feel her spirit already.
I love you dear Shawndra Ill never forget you have left a empty place in my heart but it will be filled w/memories of you!
Thinking of you all in deepest heartfelt sympathy...if you need anything call me the number is programed in her cell.
LOVE YOU ALL and now you can say dear Ella you have a TRUE ANGEL for a mommy! but we all knew she was an angel on earth from day one! LOVE ETERNAL..Naomi,Doug and Adam (our 3yr old)


I have been reading this blog for some time now, and am saddened to see Shawndras passing , but know she is now free from suffering. Heaven certainly has gained an angel today, and Ella has her very own guardian angel looking out for her. your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. May God wrap His loving arms around you at this time and may you feel a peace that passes all understanding. Thank you for sharing your lives with us and for being so open and transparent. God has big plans for you. I will continue to pray for you...

-Jen in Indiana

Michelle said...

I am grateful that my friend is no longer suffering, yet my heart breaks for all of those left behind. The Turner and Beauchamp families will remain in my prayers, and sweet Shawndra close to my heart.


Anonymous said...

I am so very very sorry for the loss of your beautiful Shawndra. I pray for strength and courage for you all at this horrible time.

Robyn, Western Australia

Anonymous said...

God bless you all during this difficult time. Shawndra was a remarkable woman and she will never be forgotten! My grandmother passed away Saturday night so am feeliing the same sadness that you all are for losing someone we love so much! I am so happy that Shawndra is pain free and in the arms of our loving Father! My prayers continue for your entire family and especially for young Ella who is sad that Mommy is gone but happy that she is no longer hurting! Much Love! Lori

Kim Bennett- Indiana said...

Tears are flowing this morning as I read that Shawndra has gone to Heaven. I am so sad for her family and friends because of the ache that I know they must feel, but so happy for Shawndra that she is rid of the pain and with Jesus! I pray for peace, comfort, and understanding for your family. I'm so thankful for Shawndra.

Anonymous said...

We are so sorry for your loss! We know this is going to be a difficult time for the entire family but you are in our thoughts and prayers. We wish there was more we could do for your heartache. Much love,Anne & Brian French (Brandon & Lexi)(Wilshire South neighbors)

Anonymous said...

Dear Ella Doug Carolyn Gary Andrea and family members.We are very sad and our thoughts are with You .Shawndra will always be in the hearts and never forgotten.God bless You all
Love from Gudrun and Konrad Hamburg Germany

Anonymous said...

I will miss her bubbly personality so much. I never could grasp how she could be that way through such trying times. She had an incredible strength that shone through to us all. Thanks again for sharing this journey with us. I am happy she is at peace now and not in any pain anymore. God bless you all as you work your way through this loss. She will never be forgotten!
Much love to you all,
Christy in Tampa

Patty's said...

My heart breaks for the loss, but rejoices for her freedom of pain. We will continue our prayer for the family while you find the new normal.
Beth Patterson

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with all of you. Ella your mommy loved you so much and is watching over you from heaven.

Pam, VA

Anonymous said...

Hurting for your family and crying here at my desk this morning. Holding you all in my heart.

Traci in Ohio

Anonymous said...

Shawndra was so BLESSED to have been loved so much.... She will FOREVER be in our hearts..... My thoughts and prayers will be with you Doug and Ella as you learn to live your life without dear Shawndra....

Anonymous said...

Doug, Ella, and family,
I stumbled upon this blog by chance,(so I thought) but I came to look for it daily. I rejoiced with good news, I cried with sad, but I was always in awe of Shawndras incredible giving spirit, especially in such challenging times. There is no doubt that Shawndra lives on in Ella. What a wonderful legacy Shawndra has left behind.
God Bless you

Marie said...

"We'll know where she has been by the trail of light she left behind."

And Shawndra left a big trail behind her. You have my deepest sympathy.


Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,
My tears are falling as I read your post this morning. My heart aches for you and little Ella, as well as for Andrea and your entire families. Shawndra touched my life in so many ways even though I didn't have the opportunity to meet her in person. I admire your willingness to share your family's journey with so many on this blog. It is certainly evident that there are so many people that loved Shawndra. Peace and blessings to you and little Ella. Shawndra will never be forgotten.
~Written by "just another mommy" in Greenwood, MO who has been touched by Shawndra's life. She is an angel.

Anonymous said...

I have been following this blog for quite a while now. I am so sorry. I hope peace can come to your family soon. She was a very brave, strong woman.

Anonymous said...

We have all been forever blessed to know a beautiful woman named Shawndra. This morning I cry sad tears that she is gone and I will no longer get to see her smiling face, but I also cry tears of joy that she is in heaven, free of pain, and watching over all of us.

Many prayers of comfort to your whole family. Doug, your neighbors are here for you whenever you need anything!

God Bless you all,
Steve, Shelley, Brady, & Sydney Lierz

Robin said...

I am very sorry for your loss and you are all in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. I'm glad Shawndra has found some peace.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you & your family. She has touched many lives & she will continue to. The Lord has a plan for us all, & even though it's not the plan we had in mind, it is a perfect plan. Made by a perfect God.I pray that you find peace in knowing she is with our maker & will wait for you one day. In time with eternity you will be together again in a blink of an eye.

~Steiner family
Camp Lejeune, NC

Anonymous said...

God Bless you Doug and Ella and all Shawndra's family. Although I never met Shawndra, she and her family have consumed my thoughts over the last week. Not only praying for your family during this difficult time, but every time I have put my son down for a nap, I think of Shawndra and hold him a little closer and a little longer, knowing that my time, too, could be cut short. Thank you for sharing your beautiful Shawndra with us, and thank you, Shawndra, for making me have a new appreciation for each and every moment. I am forever changed because of you. God Bless You, Shawndra. Doug and Ella, may you find peace and comfort in the fact that she is in no more pain. I will continue to pray each day for your family.

The Smiths, Kansas City

Anonymous said...

I don't know you personally, but have followed your blog and feel like I do know you. My thoughts and prayers are with Doug, Ella, and all of Shawndra's family and friends at this difficult time. Shawndra sounded like a remarkable woman and I know she will be missed. May God continue to bless Shawndra's family/friends. You will always be in my thoughts and prayers. At this difficult time, may God see you through.

Terra Shover said...

God Bless you all! Shawndra touched my life with her courage, strength, amazing sense of humor, and her honesty. She fought a hard fight, but I am happy that she is no longer suffering.

Thank you so much for letting all of us share this journey with you. I will never forget the impact she has had...she left a mighty big foot print on this earth!

I will continue to pray for each of you, and for Ella to always know that "mommy loves her all the time".

Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,
My heart aches and my tears flow for your sadness. Let Ella be your guide as you clap your hands in joy for Shawndra's peace. We can all learn from the innocence of our children. Shawndra will forever be missed, but not forgotten.
- Kim

Anonymous said...

Rest in peace Shawdra, may all you have taught Ella prepare her for your absence.

Love and thoughts to all of Shawndra's family and friends.

Anonymous said...

Such sad news of Shawndra's passing, but, comfort that she is no longer in pain.
I don't believe in god, but, I do believe in Shawndra's family's ability to confort Ella and Doug today and forever.
Love to Shawndra, forever missed.

kelley said...

Peace be with you all. We love you.

Anonymous said...

Very well stated Kim.

Anonymous said...

I have never met your family but have been following your story through Shawndra's lovely words for over a year or so now.

I am saddened to learn of Shawndra's passing, but at the same time, feel relief for her that she is no longer suffering and now, as an angel will continue to love and guide you

Doug - You are in my thoughts and prayers as you grieve and especially go through the next few days, months and years

Ella - What a beautiful mommy you have. She touched so many people and loved you so much!!!

Shawndra - Godspeed and thank you for sharing your journey with us. May you rest and watch over your loved ones and friends


Mommy said...

Beautifully said Doug. Thank God for the simple innocence and selflessness of children. I will continue to pray for your entire family.

Anonymous said...

Our hearts and prayers to you and your family. Know that Shawndra has made an impact on so many people. Ella - your mommmy loves you and is now your guardian angel. Doug - what it is to be such a loving husband. To rest of Shawndra's family - know that she to is watching over you. What a fighter she was. God Bless!!

Katy said...

I am forever touched by Shawndra's story. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Dear Doug,Ella and all of the family. Our deepest sympathy to all of you. Blessings and prayers are coming your way. May your dear wife, mommy, sister,friend rest in everlasting peace.
You have all right down to these last several posts been a lesson for all of us in grace and dignity and pure selflessness in the face of your heartache. We are eternally grateful to have been allowed to be a part of this journey (even the smallest part)with all of you. As we step back and pray for shawndra's eternal rest and for the family to survive and thrive we will hold you in our thoughts and prayers.
Hugs to you Doug and little miss Ella. Andrea what a wonderful sister/friend you have been. Hold that knowledge close.
Love, Julie and Dennis (jill's mom and dad)

Anonymous said...


You are such an amazing spirit and will be remembered forever. You have made us all better people for knowing of you. You have even saved lives with your story! Thank you for sharing with us through your journey, that I can't quite believe is over. We will all miss you dearly.

Doug, Ella, and Family,

Stay strong and remember the good times. Shawndra was such a remarkable person. I hope you feel comforted by the many, many people Shawndra has touched who are all sending you warm thoughts. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

To the Readers of this blog,

It is the responsibility of all of us to DO SOMETHING to honor Shawndra. She has shared her journey with us and opened up her life to us. We must honor her by spreading the word about cancer and supporting cancer research. Volunteer your time, donate money if you can, spread the word. Do anything you can to support the fight against cancer. This is the best thing that we can do to honor Shawndra at this time. Honor her by making a positive impact.

Peace to you all!

Anonymous said...

Oh what mixed feelings I sad to see Shawndra go, yet so happy she is free of pain.
I will miss her and will continue to pray for all of you forever :)
I have have been so blessed to follow her journey and will forever be changed.
So sorry for your loss, our loss.
Deb (LSMO)

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you and your family. I am very sorry for your loss and was really touched by Shawndra. She is a special angel watching over you.
Tami (Independence, MO)

Steve said...

Doug - I will have you and Ella in my prayers during this difficult time. May God bless you and Ella.

- Steve Boydston

Anonymous said...


We are saddened by the loss of Shawndra but as many have said glad that she is pain free and watching you all from above.

She was an amazing woman and I enjoyed her friendship. The butterfly will always remind me to take things in stride and continue to live a good life here on earth till she greats us home someday. She will be missed and we will continue to pray for you and your family.

Kim and Trey

Anonymous said...


I am sooo sorry!! My heart is just torn in two right now for you. I am SOO sad and ache for you, Ella, both families, and all of the many, many friends.

I cried last night in bed next to my sleeping husband and baby reading Andrea's blog. As I look at them, I thought again, 'how lucky I am and not to take any moment and life for granted.' Thank you, Shawndra for this important lesson not to be forgotten.

Shawndra will NEVER be forgotten by SOO many people, including myself. It's amazing to me how many lives she has touched.

Doug, you have a BIG job ahead of you being a single parent. There are millions of single parents out there that do it and did it; my mom did it. But, it helps that Ella has THE BEST dad possible! How lucky she is!

When you look at little Ella you will see Shawndra looking right back at you. She will be your forever guardian angel.

I love you, Doug! God Bless you ALL during this trying time.


Alana Dober, D.C.

Linda said...

My prayers are with your entire family during this difficult time. I am amazed by your strength.

Meg said...

my heart aches for all of you. may your grief be short-lived, and serve to heal your wounds. and remember, that someday you will find strength, happiness and peace again. shawndra was a beautiful person, inside and out - so will be her memory.

Anonymous said...

Doug, Ella and family,

May the Lord wrap his loving arms around you at this time and bring you peace. God Bless you all!

Shona Johnson
Lee's Summit, MO

Anonymous said...

I just heard about Shawndra's battle in the last couple of weeks...I am so moved by her strength throughout this process as I caught up on her blog. I am thinking of the entire family and I will always remember Shawndra as a toothless elementary school girl playing on the monkey bars with me...Cherry drop anyone?

Brooke Frazier

Anonymous said...

Adding my sympathies to so many others here...Amidst the grief, I pray you can find peace and comfort in the knowledge that Shawndra and all her family have had such a profound impact on so many others. And what joy that she is no longer in pain. We surround you now with love and prayers...

a Beauchamp family friend

Anonymous said...

I am so deeply saddened to hear of Shawndra's passing yet so very grateful that I was lucky enough to have known her through work at CMH. Her radiant smile and unforgetable laugh will forever be how I remember Shawndra. I will pray for your peace and comfort in the days, weeks & months to come. Thank you to Shawndra's family for sharing her with us. We will forever be grateful to you for that....

Thank you for sharing so openly & honestly with your faithful blog readers. You will forever be a part of our lives. May you be at peace and have found true comfort in the arms of Jesus. I will never forget your spirit and love for life.
God bless you all,

Anonymous said...

Goodbye, sweet Shawndra. I will miss your smile, your kindness, your laughter...I will miss you.
Love, Hillary

Anonymous said...

"The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges." - Martin Luther King Jr.

Shawndra - you will always be an inspiration.

We continue to pray for all of you.

Anonymous said...

I am 100% "in" on doing something special for Shawndra. Maybe start a Memorial in her name?

I would be honored to donate! As, I am sure all the bloggers would, too.

I WISH I lived closer to help with dinners, clean house, babysit, run errands, plant flowers, or just be a shoulder to cry on. Since I moved from KC, it's a little hard. Just let us know and I will do whatever!

Alana Dober

Anonymous said...

Tears are rolling down my face as I can't imagine the grief Shawndra's family and friends are going through. What an amazing woman!

Anonymous said...

I'm so thankful for Shawndra's honesty through all of this. She fought so hard to live, yet trusted God with the outcome. Her life is such an example of true faith.

Also, your love and respect for each other is wonderful. What an example of what true love for one another should look like.

I'm so thankful that Ella has so much love in her life. She sounds like an amazing little girl.

I'll be praying for your whole family.


Anonymous said...

My Deepest Sympathies to you and your family. Her blog has touched people around the world and her memory will live on in many hearts.

Nicole said...

So sorry to hear about your loss, yet so relieved that Shawndra is no longer in pain. Praying for you in Canada.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sad for Shawndra's family and friends, yet as so many have said, there is so much comfort in knowing that she is free of her earthly body and all of the tubes and equipment. This blog will be such a great thing for Ella as she gets older and wonders about her mom. What a great testament to how much Shawndra loved her daughter and how hard she fought to have as much time with Doug, Ella and her family and friends as possible. Until you all meet again in heaven one day, let your beautiful memories of times together with her help to ease the pain of watching her suffer and missing her.

Anonymous said...

Remember Me

Bye baby,
see you around
Didn't I tell you I wouldn't hold you down
Take good care
of yourself, y'hear
Don't let me hear about you shedding a tear
You're gonna make it
You're gonna take it
Remember me as a sunny day
That you once had, along the way
Didn't I inspire you a little higher
Remember me as a funny clown
That made you laugh when you were down
Didn't I boy,didn't I boy
Remember me as a big balloon
At a carnaval that ended
too soon
Remember me as a breath of spring
Remember me as a good thing
Bye baby, see you around
I already know about the new love
you've found
What can I do but wish you well What we had was really swell
I won't forget it, I have no regrets
Remember me as a sound of laughter
And my face the morning fter
Didn't the sky beckon us to fly?Yes, you'l remember the times we fought
But don't forget me in your
tender thoughts
Please darlin' oh yeah
Remember me when you drink the
Of sweet succes and I gave you my best
Remember me every song you sing
Remember me as a good thing
Remember me as a sunny day
Please darling, remember me as a good thing
Remember me when you drink the wine
Remember me as a good thing
Remember me as a big balloon
Don't forget me darling

Anonymous said...

Even though I don't know you, I too have followed Shawndra's blog quietly and have always been in awe of her courage, her love of live and family, and her fight to survive. I am saddened her life was cut so short, but I know she went knowing she was loved and cared by many!! My thoughts and prayers for Doug, Ella and the family as they grieve during this difficult time and hope peace comforts you in the days to come!

mrsmottz said...

I am friends with Kelly Cooper and you have been in my prayers for a long time. I'm so sorry for your loss, I will continue to be praying for your family.

mrsmottz said...

I am friends with Kelly Cooper and you have been in my prayers for a long time. I'm so sorry for your loss, I will continue to be praying for your family.

Anonymous said...

What a journey. During this time may you find peace, comfort and joy in reflecting on you wonderful wife, mom, sister, daughter and friend.

Thank you for sharing. May God bless you.

Jennifer Palmer

Leisa said...

Doug, I am so sorry. My heart just aches for you and your family. Even though you were prepared for it, I know how difficult it is to wrap your arms around the finality of it.

I will miss Shawndra sharing her life with us more than I can put in to words. I am really sad and I just hate that this had to happen. The tears that flow as I type this message are a tribute to how much I've grown to care about Shawndra over the past two years.

Hold steadfast to your faith. God will see you through this. He has a plan and we have to have faith that God does not disappoint. As hard as it is during times of pain and loss, we must believe this and never lose faith. It will all make sense one day. I will keep praying for you, Ella and your entire family.

Shawndra has had such a wonderful support system. I know she is smiling down on you with so much love, appreciation and adoration because of what a great husband and supporter you were to her through this difficult time in her life. Thank God she doesn't have to endure all of that any more. She is healed and will never feel pain, anguish or sadness again.

As I said before, I never met Shawndra in person, but I knew her and she knew me as she addressed me personally on her blog several times. We also shared a birthday and I have had the honor of wishing her Happy Birthday on "our" birthday for the last two years in a row. I will miss her dearly. My husband followed her blog too and he is deeply saddened and will miss her also. She touched our lives and has made us appreciate each and every day and to never take one for granted.

May God be with, Ella and your family and help you to find peace and comfort in the coming days. It will not be easy, but it will be ok. Hang on to those memories. You guys had some great ones. And thank you for sharing them with us. Take care and God bless. Leisa

Anonymous said...

Doug - Kids just have a way don't they. Even when they don't fully understand their innocence can bring anyone through a tough time. Ella is your little angel here on earth and she will be the shining light during this very painful time. Thank God you have her and your wonderful family. I am so sorry for your loss of Shawndra. You both had an amazing relationship that all of us should be so lucky to have with our spouses.

Prayers for you always.

Anonymous said...

praying for comfort and healing for your family. shawndra is greatly loved and will never be forgotten.

"take good care
of yourself, y'hear
Don't let me hear about you shedding a tear
You're gonna make it
You're gonna take it
Remember me as a sunny day"

a-phi love and mine in chicago

Anissa Lomshek said...

Doug, Ella and Family;

You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. What a blessing to know Shawndra's pain is gone and she is at home with Jesus in Heaven. What a wonderful feeling to know that we all have such an amazing spirit as our Guardian Angel from here on out.

Once again, accept my heartfelt appreciation for sharing Shawndra with us through this long battle. Your unselfishness has allowed her pain to heal so many, and give them faith in God once more. I am so thankful!

Doug, you are an amazing husband and father as has been clear throughout. Just remember to take it one day at a time and enjoy every precious moment with Ella. The two of you created such an amazing girl in her.

And to Ella, your Mommy loves you now and forever. Nothing could ever change that.

Hold on to your faith in God to see you through and know you will be with Shawndra again, in Heaven.


Allison said...

Doug, my heart goes out to prayers that you along with Shawndra's family and your family have support and love through this difficult time. God lifted Shawndra up yesterday, Heaven is lucky to have such an amazing woman, yet we on Earth are sad that we did not have longer with her. Ella, as you read this, know that your Mommy was an amazing woman who has inspired so many. She had an amazing smile, just like you!

May God Bless you,
Allison CMH

Anonymous said...

I've followed Shawndra's blog for the last year and let me say what a pleasure it was to come to "know" her. She was such a breath of fresh air, it sometimes was hard to believe that she was in the fight of her life. I hope and pray that if I am ever faced with an illness as she was that I would also be a comfort to others as she has been to me. And I'm so happy that in the midst of this trial she found Jesus Christ. She has said repeatedly that it was during this time that she put her faith in Him. What a blessing to know that she is a sister in Christ that I will meet someday in Heaven!

I will uphold your precious family in my prayers during this time. I have found the Randy Alcorn book "Heaven" a tremendous source of comfort during my own trials and I highly recommend it. Take care.

Anonymous said...

"Perhaps they are not the stars, but rather openings in Heaven, where the love of our lost ones pours through and shines down upon us, to let us know they are happy."
Eskimo legend

Thank you for sharing your story with us, you have touched so many. My thought and prayers are with you all.

Suzy Humphrey and family

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for you all and is happy that Shawndra is pain free. I am one of the many that was not lucky to have known her but felt connected through her blog. I will pray for Doug, Ella and your families. She has made me a better person through reading her blog...with her courage and dignity. My thoughts are with you..

Prayers from STL

Anonymous said...

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and comfort knowing that Shawndra is resting peacefully in the hands of the Lord and watching over you all. My prayers go out to you and your family.

God Bless you all!

Anonymous said...

My heart is heavy for your family. Especially for little Ella who will miss her mother as she grows up. I feel for her, as I lost my own mother to cancer. How awesome that Ella has this website with her mother's own words to get to know her by.

What a beautiful life Shawndra lived!

My prayers are with you,
Christie in GA

Anonymous said...

So sorry for your loss! When my niece past away several years sister wrote this poem...I thought I'd share it with you!

"When the Leaves Fall and Change Color...I'll think of you.

In the hot summers when things are dry...I'll wish for you!

When the Birds sing and the flowers bloom ...I'll hear you!!

At night in Bed...I'll pray for you!

But every moment of every day...I'll always love you!"

God Bless you and your entire Family...may cherish all the wonderful memories and pass them on to your daughter!

Amy Boresow Prendiville

Karen Axford said...


I know you though Boot Camp. Iam so very sorry to hear about this. I read quite a bit of Shawndra's story and I can tell she was quite a woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Karen Axford, Lockton Risk Services.

Anonymous said...

Your mom was a strong woman and we have all learned an important lesson from her battle. Cherish each moment as if it were your last.

My thoughts and prayers are with her friends and family during this difficult time.

Jenny from Iowa

Anonymous said...


Our prayers and hearts are with you. This blog is such an amazing record for Ella - it is a testament to how much Shawndra loved life, how much she loved you and Ella, and certainly to how much you love them both.

Thank you for sharing your life and your Shawndra with us. We are blessed for having 'known' her.

Our support for you all will not end now that Shawndra's journey has ended. You have just begun a journey that will be long and difficult - we are here for you ALL. Perhaps this is one more gift from your beautiful girl.


jg in ca

storyassistant said...

Nothing I can say quite makes sense right now so I'll do my best...I am incredibly humbled by Shawndra's fight & I hope that all of the great memories she has created with each of you lives in us for always.

My Very Best,


Anonymous said...

Doug, Ella, and Family - My thoughts and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry for your loss, but so glad that Shawndra is Home and no longer suffering.


Anonymous said...

I remember Shawndra performing on Hard Rock Day during Rush; I remember Shawndra as a Supreme on activation day; I remember Shawndra in her PJ pants studying in the dining room; I remember being with Shawndra in a casino in Sydney; I remember her distinct laughter and her beautiful red hair. Mostly, I remember her kindness and love of life. I am certain that this effervescent spirit will live on in Ella.

We love you and miss you already Shawndra!


Sherri P eh said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you Doug, Ella and the rest of your family, during this difficult time. I'm sad that Shawndra is no longer here, but I'm glad that she's pain free and at peace. I know she's your special angel, watching over you. Peace.

Anonymous said...


What a wonderful friend you were to Shawndra. You are in my thoughts and prayers, as well. I can't imagine how much you will miss your friend; I hope it is some comfort to you to know that she loved you as much as you love her.


Mister John said...

I've been praying for you guys for quite some time now. As I read Shawdra had been readmitted my prayer simply narrowed to an end to her pain and protection for those around her. And though my tears are a fraction as heavy as yours now, I am happy to realize God answered our prayers.

Please know you are not nor ever will be alone. Jesus promised us no test we could not pass so grab hold of that truth and know you will make it.

Anonymous said...

As a cancer survivor myself, I often say a little prayer at night thanking God for giving me another day of good health. For the past few weeks I've decided that Shawndra needed my prayers more and I've prayed for her to have peace and no pain.

Prayers do work..., however I really wish she could have been healed without Heaven being involved...

Paulette said...

What a precious man, you were to Shawndra, and what a wonderful dad you are to Ella, I am a pretty tough person, but I have shed a few tears the past few weeks for Shawndra and your family.
I am grateful that she is no longer suffering and my tears have been for you and Ella who will have to face life without her. While I know you will be ok eventually I am just sad that cancer robs us of one's who don't deserve do die with that ugly monster, especially so young.
Doug please keep us posted about you and Ella only as you are up to it ok? I really want to know how ya'll are and watch Ella as she grows.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Shawndra was such an amazing precious young woman, I already miss he so much.

DeskDiva said...

Dear Doug:

I came to this blog last week because of a prayer request from one of Shawndra's childhood school friends, Ashley W. I started to read and was mesmerized. Your wife was (is!) a beautiful, caring, open, honest, gloriously alive woman. I was enchanted by the joy in her photos, the sheer delight she took in you and your darling Ella, and absolutely enthralled with her breathtaking outlook.

Hard days, good days. Hard weeks. Hard months. Yet she never wavered in having hope. We all prayed for a miracle for this vibrant lady, and we got one - just not the one we were hoping for. But remember - the miracle of Shawndra's earthly death was hand-chosen for her by her Lord and Savior. There is unsurpassable beauty in that.

I pray for you, Ella, Andrea, Shawndra's parents, your parents, your friends - all those who love and miss Shawndra. May you find peace in her passing and grace in her healing.

Remember, Doug - Ella has it right. Shawndra is alive and well in the light of Christ and is in the presence of ONLY good and perfect beings. She will be waiting for you anxiously.

Yours in Christ,

Amy Dobek
deskdivax at gmail dot com

Pepper Gerstner said...

Doug & Ella,
May you both find comfort in knowing you now have a beautiful angel watching over you at all times. :)
My mother has been my angel since she passed when I was 7--it'll be 29 years this month. I feel blessed to have her watching over me & my family. Though my children obviously never met my mother/their grandma--they still asked questions. A perfect book--What's Heaven? by Maria Shriver. I highly recommend it!
As I have said many times but feel the need to say it again---THANK YOU for welcoming me, a complete stranger, into your world. I have felt so close to Shawndra since first finding her blog (thru the Jennifer Ireland website). I am already picturing her entering the pearly gates and being welcomed by my beautiful mother--showing her how precious it is to watch over her family. :)
Love to each of you,
Pepper Gerstner

Norm said...

I am sorry for your lose, but know all to well how much it means to know your wife is no longer hurting.

Going thru this with Tami exactly 2 weeks before you knowing first hand what you are feeling, again if there is anything I can do please feel free to stop by the blog or email me.

Marie said...

Aw, bless the person who wrote especially for Dustin. We tend to overlook the friends, but they are grieving too.

Thank you Doug and Andrea for letting us all know, and for letting us into your lives in this way. Those posts had to be the hardest you've ever written.

"The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears".


Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You had a beautiful wife. She looked so happy in all her pictures. Ever since I heard about her she was in my prayers. She was amazing in her writing and I know your daughter Ella will truly enjoy reading and hearing about her mother. Take care and God bless your family and we are truly sorry for your loss.

Anonymous said...

My tears are rolling down as I think of Shawndra~a perfect stranger to me. Although I never knew her, I feel as if I did. Her strength, wit, humor and passion for life was obvious to all.

Miss Ella, hope you know how special your mommy was. She will always watch over you.

To everyone else, I am deeply sorry. Your wife, sister, daughter and friend seemed to be one in a million. I can only imagine how much she will be missed.

Take Care,
Tracy Berg (St. Louis, MO)

Anonymous said...

I have read Shawndra's blog for several years now and I am very saddened by her passing. What an inspiration she was for us all.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

Rest in Paradise Shawndra!! You will be missed!! Nesha

Dan Tutt said...

Shawndra and family: You have all fought the good fight. As I have stuggled with my own battle with colorectal cancer over the past 7 months, I have looked to Shawdra's blog for inspiration and support. Doug's posts and comments have also provided my wife and family with the support they have needed. She has been a great fighter, a great mother, and a great example to those of us that are fighting similar fights. Your fine example will live on Shawndra.

Anonymous said...

i carry your heart with me
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

ee cummings

cara said...

i don't know shawndra personally, but she has left a lasting impression on me, and i know many others who can say the same. she reached far more people than she probably ever knew, and her strength, bravery, and humor came through in her words so clearly. your family is a wonderful inspiration in to how to handle immense challenge, grief, and love. wishing you all the best.

Anonymous said...

May God Bless you and Ella. You are in my continued thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra was my neighbor growing up across the street and she was also was my babysitter too. I will remember climbing trees with her, always loving to trick-or-treat at her house, Shawndra’s wave as she drove down the street, 4th of July at the lake, and her famous laugh! I was able to come back from college and attend her beautiful wedding. Now, living in Florida I am deeply saddened by the news. My thoughts are with Shawndra’s family at this time. She was a remarkable role model to have as a little girl.
Amy Newbold (Delray Beach, Florida)

Lanette said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and Ella.
Although I never met Shawndra, she taught me a lot as well.
God Bless you


Anonymous said...