Tuesday, September 16, 2008

okay

Hello everyone- Thank you all as always for your continued support. Michelle, I am so grateful and amazed with the money you have raised for Colon Cancer in my honor. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Thank you to all the people who contributed to the cause and if you still want to give, you can still go to the Fred's Team link on the left to contribute to research for colon cancer. Michelle is a friend only through my blog, we have never met, but she is training and running a marathon on November 2, in my honor. How is the training going? How amazing is that! Thank you to the people who went to her fundraiser this weekend! I am so appreciative. It is research funds that will help the incredibly knowledgeable researchers find new and improved ways to treat cancer, in this case, colon cancer.
What did you all think of the Stand up for Cancer show? It was touching. If you didn't see it, I want to point out one statistic that was on there. One in two men and One in Three women will have cancer. That is shocking!!!!I am not alone.
It was an emotional day, I am not exactly sure why. It might be just the fact that I had my great friends from college here a couple weekends ago, then I went to Seattle surrounded by my wonderful family, then today I was by myself for the first time in awhile! I missed my daughter, my husband, my family, my friends and was very sad. It could have been that I am unconsciously worried about my CEA and my pain and if this is a sign that my cancer is growing? As someone said, the not knowing is very worrisome. I was also thinking about our big trip we are taking to the Mediterranean, not taking Ella for 2 1/2 weeks, that makes me very sad to think about. Who knows, but I am better now. Thank you to my husband who stopped work today as I was driving back from my doctors appointment uncontrollably crying and came downstairs to see my and comfort me! I love my husband! I missed him so much this past week.
My oncologist did reassure me though, he said that the Xeloda can take a few months to really show it's effects. So, he wasn't too concerned at this point with my CEA rising. So things are status quo, started my pills today, a day early, I forgot, woops. that's okay though. I have my stents replaced next week, so hopefully that will help the pain. My pain continues to increase in my back which is very frustrating. In November, I go back to Creighton to see Dr. Foster who will do an exam under anesthesia, as well as a CT scan, labs, etc. I look forward to that visit to get more answers on how things are really going, if things are looking good or if the cancer appears to be larger and if there is anything else he can do surgically. So these are the things to come.
Doug and family have encouraged me to see a psychologist I have seen before if I desire to help with the emotions, etc. I really like her but for some reason don't know if I want to go. I know it can't hurt I guess I just feel like I go see so many doctors already, I don't really want to take more time right now.
One last thing, last but definitely not least. The Jennifer Ireland golf tournament is this coming weekend, September the 20th. They are in need of more teams! Please, if you can, get yourself, or someone who loves to golf, get a team of 4 together for a great day of golf, and honoring a wonderful woman who lost her life to colon cancer at a very young age, leaving her two adorable children behind as well as her husband and her mother, family and friends. Please sign up if you can!!!!! You can get to the Jennifer Ireland Foundation on the link on the left or go to www.jenniferirelandfoundation.com .
Okay, that is enough for now. I told you I would write more later. I wish I could say more than thank you, it doesn't seem to do justice to how much you all have helped me but I don't know how else to get the point across. Thank you, my friends, Shawndra

16 comments:

Andrea said...

Well sissy - you were missed too!! Glad you are back home safe and sound, and Ella. Glad she enjoyed flying and the cousin sisters! Hee Hee - Love that!
As for you, it's ok to worry and be fearful of the unknown. I know it's hard, but try to give that up to God and let HIM bear your burdens. I don't see anything negative about going to talk with someone or joining a group to be able to discuss issues that you might be having with others that are either experiencing a FIGHT as well or who work regularly with those who are going through cancer. You may actually feel a bit freed with telling someone else outside of the family and friends circle. Good idea!! I'm convinced, Can I come? :)
I love you and missed you. Hope to see/talk with you soon!
My prayers are with you,
Dre

kelley said...

Sounds like a bundle of worries were your path yesterday, but today is a new day, the sun is out and hopefully you will get outside and let the fresh air do it's magic. I agree with Andrea, if you feel you could benefit from talking to someone, do that for yourself. Don't look at it as another Dr's visit, look at it like a "spa"day, something that makes you feel good. But if it is not really something you feel would do the trick, then so be it, maybe tomorrow or the next day it will sound more appealing. I think you should include an actual spa day along with it, treat yourself, mind body and soul! I must be off tho take grandkids to preschool. Have a wonderful day, it's georgous outside.

Terra Shover said...

Hey Chicks! What a rollercoaster you have been on lately! First of all, I am a huge advocate of counseling - I think having a completely non-biased person to talk to, who actually understands the emotions you are having, can be very relieving and comforting. Perhaps you should look into a cancer support group instead, one that involves people just like you, having the same symptoms, restrictions and fears that you have. And as for back pain I can completely relate. I know mine may be caused by something else, but no one understands how devastating and consuming back pain can be until they have had it themselves. You are such a fighter, and some challenges may be harder then others, but you will prevail! You are a strong and courageous woman Shawndra Turner!

Praying for you as always,

Terra

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra - I recently started listening to the Christian radio station K-LOVE (97.3 in KC) regularly. I didn't have a specific reason for making the change, just an overwhelming feeling that I needed to hear something positive. It is very uplifting to hear this music. I put a prayer request in for you this morning. I'm with Andrea when she says to let God bear your burdens. He will carry you through.
Anyway, it is something that helps lift me up when I need it and I wanted to share.
Hope you get to enjoy this beautiful day outside a little bit. The sunshine is wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra
I would DEFINITELY see the therapist, who I affectionately refer to as the "shrink". It is sooo nice to have a non-biased opinion to hear what you are feeling. They are trained to help coach you with coping stratagies and these can be very helpful. I think it is nice to "vent" to someone other than family, it leaves YOU feeling great...a win win situation. I personally think it could be the MOST important DR appts to keep ;)
Anonoymous Neighbor

Team Piggott said...

I'm so glad to see you are enjoying your trips and that your cruise is still on. It makes my heart happy. Tell Doug and Ella hello for me and we will be seeing you all very soon!
On another note, I can't seem to get my email to you so here it is.
RHolliday@sbcglobal.net
My blog is TeamPigott@blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

BLESSED THURSDAY AM TO U SHAWNDRA...JUST WANT U TO KNOW NOT A DAY PASSES THAT I AM NOT PRAYING FOR U....EACH AND EVERYDAY I PRAY FOR YOUR HEALING, COMFORT AND STRENGTH...DAYS FULL OF LOVE AND LAUGHTER....HAND IT OVER TO THE LORD....HE WILL PROVIDE...WITH CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP, AN ANGEL OF PRAYER IN KC, MO....JEN MILLER

Paulette said...

Hey Shawndra,
I come by everyday to check in and read your posts.
I just want you to know I teach children's choir at my church, I have all the kids together because I just started the choir. I had 30 kid's last night and we made prayer pockets for our craft. In the pockets we put 3 names in which we will pray for indefinately. I told the kid's how important prayer is and how we should pray for those who have big prayer needs and I told them about you, and how I have been praying for you for a long long time and I was going to put your name on my card. They ALL put your name on one of their cards and we prayed for you last night during our prayer. We also put your name on our bulletin board so everytime someone see's it they can pray for you.
You are not alone, you have every reason to be emotional, we serve a big God Shawndra who performs miracles everday, I pray that boldly for you.
I pray for your family that God will give them the Grace and stanima for this continued journey!
You can do it!!

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra. Since I havn't talked to you lately, I just wanted to let you know I still check on your blog and pray for you constantly. Keep up the fight, you are such an inspiration to so many.
Love and prayers, Julie

Anonymous said...

We love you so much! Your strength amazes me.

Love,
Jan

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
I am still thinking of you and praying for you. Turning Point is another organization that has good programs for people dealing with cancer. My co worker has found it helpful with her breast cancer. Sending a hug to you.
Dee Smith

Kira said...

Hi Shawndra
I don't know if you remember me but I am Matt Kirk's wife, Kira. Doug used to work for Matt at Clickspeed. Anyway I have been reading your blog since I knew of it's existence. I want you to know that I think you are so strong and so amazing. You have taken on this nasty cancer with such vigor. You should be so proud of yourself and how much and how hard you fight everyday. I am sure I am not alone on this board when I say that you truly inspire all of us to take life by the balls:) no matter what happens. Keep fighting sister! I will be reading!!
Kira

Anonymous said...

I started listening to KLOVE when I was going through a difficult time myself...it really helped. The music reminds me that this world is not all I have and the stories and thoughts from other Christians remind me to be happy for today. Of course you can be scared of the future! Don't ever beat yourself up for having normal feelings. You are a wonderful mommy, wife, sister, daughter and child of God. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time. If you need extra support don't feel bad about asking for it. Whether it comes from a support group, a counselor, a friend, family, church member, pastor, helpline, reading GOd's word...whatever will help you smile for today and have hope for tomorrow. We're all on this earth for a temporary time-cancer is just a daily reminder that this life isn't eternal. I pray God continues to give you strength for today and hope for the future. Jeremiah 29:11 says the Lord knows the plans he has for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you HOPE and a future. :)

Michele said...

Shawndra, I loved the SU2C show, I ordered one of the shirts from Cafepress.com They are in the processing of making more designs, right now they only have 3 available, I got mine in the mail today. It's cute. I also got the car decal.
As far as the counseling, it doesn't hurt to try. My sister just lost her 9wk old baby and she very reluctantly went to counseling and now says its very helpful.
So many people are cheering for you, you are very loved.
Michele

Anonymous said...

We keep you in our thoughts and positive prayers.

We love you all so much.

Love,

Roswita

Anonymous said...

Shawndra-

We are sorry to hear things are hard for you. We are always here for you! Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep Believing!!!

The Mudge Family