Tuesday, August 26, 2008

so tired

Double click the image to make it larger and see her closer up.

Hey everyone- Well I am almost done with my first week of the chemo pills, Xeloda. I have been really tired this week but have not had any other side effects so far. I get very frustrated being so tired, all I want to do is stay in my bed but of course I can't do that. I did have some chances this weekend to rest thanks to Doug and my sister. We had a surprise birthday party for Andrea Friday night which was a success. I think she was fairly surprised. I was pretty wiped out Saturday. Doug went to help Andrea and Greg with a few projects at their house. I intended to go, but ended up taking a long nap. Then we had the Croquet for Cancer fundraiser Saturday night. It was a lot of fun. I think it was a success. I don't know yet how much they raised, but they were off to a good start early in the evening. So, once again a fairly busy weekend. Yesterday it was Ella and I. We laid low in the morning but when it came to nap time, of course she didn't want to. She looked sooo tired and she still fought it. I tried everything I could think of. By that time I was so exhausted and tired myself. I called my mom, who thankfully rescued me. I am so blessed to have her. She is there almost every time I need her. It is upsetting to me though that I have to call for help. I sometimes feel inadequate, like I can't do anything on my own anymore. So, I was a little down on myself last night. gotta have those moments once in awhile. gotta go pick up my punks from daycare. I have the most adorable picture i took of her the other day, but of course, I need to either figure out how to put it on myself or have Doug help me. (Insert later: I did it myself, I just got the picture up and figured most of it out myself, with a little help from Doug. yaa for me.) One of these days i will learn! have a great week. Just think, only a few more days and then a long weekend. Yaaaa! shawndra


Anonymous said...

Dear Shawndra,
We haven't been treated to new pix in quite awhile. Your "punks" must be changing. I am sure I am not alone in saying we would love to see new pix! Joyce

Michele said...

I will pray that your energy level gets better. That is something I still struggle with, after being off chemo 6 months. I still need a nap every day.

kelley said...

I still call on my Mom for help. My kids still call on me for help. Moms are moms forever, not just 'til their kids are grown. Don't be so hard on yourself when asking for help. Your Mom would be more upset if you didn't ask for help.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh. What a pretty strawberry (shortcake?) blonde girl she is! Thank you for sharing this beautiful picture. :-) Joyce

BKNR said...

Wow Ella has gotten so big. What a sweet girl!!

And Kelley is right. That is what moms do. You will do it for Ella when she is all grown up and needs a little break. That is the job of moms!
Have a great day and enjoy your weekend!!

Kristi :)

Anonymous said...

Well Ella is turning into quite the little lady...so stinkin cute!

Hope you get some extra rest and continue to fight hard!

bahama mama said...

I hope you are feeling more rested today. I still can't believe what a big girl Ella has become! It seems like she was a baby for a split second!
I discovered last night that one of my clients went to med school with your dad - isn't it a small world?! Speaking of, your parents most imporant job in this world is to care for you and the rest of their family, so enjoy it and appreciate all they do!

Take a nice, long nap for all of us this afternoon. ;)

Love, d

Anonymous said...

Ella is beautiful....looks like her mommy! Feel better Shawndra...I have been on Xeloda and know how tired you can be..:-(

Anonymous said...

Shawndra- You have two full time jobs right now! Being a mother/wife/home-maker (as if that isn't enough to make you cry uncle) and fighting the good fight that you are! If you didn't need help- we would all wonder how on earth you do it! So don't be hard on yourself- I think you look amazing by the way. Beautiful as ever. I will keep you in my prayers and Ella too (needs to nap!) She is beautiful and such a little lady. : ) Great seeing you- Adriane and the boys

Lisa said...

Oh such a cute picuture. Thank you so much for sharing! When you are blogging, just click on the icon that looks like a scenery pic and it will lead you in adding a pic to your blog! Nothing wrong with taking naps and calling on your mom...I'm sure she loves it! Can you believe this awesome weather we are having...but I do hope it rains tomorrow! :-)

Anonymous said...


Ella is so adorable. Just know we are here if you ever need us! Our thought and prayers are with you all! Keep Believing! Have a wonderful weekend!

The Mudge Family

Anonymous said...




Anonymous said...

she could not be cuter. love the little flip-flops.


Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh! Ella is soooo beautiful. They grow up so fast!

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra,

Ella is adorable!

I hope you gain some energy back. I haven't taken Xeloda, but I am pretty darn tired on FOLFOX, I know it is so hard not being able to do as much as you want to for your family.

I think it actually can really help family members and friends (such as your Mom) to be able to help in some concrete way. It is hard for them to watch us struggle, and I think it helps them to feel better when they can actually DO something to help. Do you know what I mean?

I'll write soon!

Take care,

Michele said...

Punks is gorgeous!!!

Anonymous said...

This maybe helpful to you and some others you know. Sue


Anonymous said...

I have read your blog numerous times but have never left a comment (this kind of technology is still new to me!). I began reading Jennifer Ireland's blog and then started following your story as well. I, too, live in the KC area and am a mom to 2 sweet boys, ages 3 and 6 months. Last month, I noticed blood in my stool on 2 occassions. I immediately thought of you and Jennifer and knew that it was something I shouldn't ignore. I made an appointment with a GI doctor and ended up having a colonoscopy. They removed a polyp which was found to be pre-cancerous. The entire polyp was removed and at this point, I will continue to have a colonoscopy every 5 years. I just wanted you to know that you are making a difference, especially in the lives of those of us who are younger and think that cancer can't happen to us. If I didn't know you or your story I might have ignored the symptom and just went on with my busy day. You are such an inspiration and I will continue to check on you and pray for you and your family. Thank you so much for telling us your story!