Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Change Chemo

Hey everyone- First, Ella is feeling much better, so thank you all for your concern. Today was chemo day and a meeting with my oncologist. Doug and I met with him before the treatment. I was still having a difficult time, mentally, this morning. When I am not there, I live my life and forget about my diagnosis, for the most part. When I go back to the cancer center for my treatment, it is that reminder that I have a serious illness and that I am going to be knocked down and have to start over picking myself back up. So, I was very emotional this morning. Even Ella saw me crying and said, "What's wrong Mama?", and gave me a hug. It was sooo sweet and just melted my heart. Well, when I met with my doctor, he recommended I start doing a pill form of chemo called Xeloda, which I actually took for six weeks, when I was first diagnosed, before I had my first surgery. This will consist of me taking 3 pills in the morning, 3 pills in the afternoon for 7 days, then off for 7 days, so on one week, off one week and so on. The common side effects with this is mouth sores, diarrhea, fatigue, hand and foot syndrome(?). So we will see how it goes. It can also cause problems with my Coumadin and make my blood thinner, so I have to watch that carefully! I am very excited though to try this. I just need a break from the infusions. Doug and I agreed with my oncologist that this would be a good idea and if my CEA starts going up with this then we can go back. I did have my CEA drawn today, so I will hopefully find out tomorrow what it is. Especially since I didn't go to my chemo last time so I have been off for a month.
I want to thank you all for your mommy support and advice. I think being a mom is the toughest job ever. I just want my daughter to grow up knowing right from wrong, being first safe and healthy, but also happy, kind and caring to others. I do my best to accomplish this but am constantly guessing and second guessing myself. I love her so much I would do anything for her. But I don't want her to just get away with anything and everything, that does not help her for her future. So thank you all for your support for my health and my role as a mommy. I am so grateful to have you all who have unconditionally supported me.
I start taking my pills tomorrow morning. I will let you know how it goes and what me CEA is. gotta go to bed, Doug is standing here waiting for me to go up. I will write soon. Sorry it has been so long.
Oh, also, please check out the Croquet for cancer logo on the left. I will write more about that tomorrow. Good night. shawndra

7 comments:

kelley said...

we'll always be here!

Anonymous said...

Good morning Shawndra. Being a parent is the most important and most difficult but rewarding job any of us can ever have. We all feel like you do at times. I have four teenagers so I am in a different place than you are of course, but boy do I remember those toddler days. I am sure there are a lot of parents glad school is back in session! The best advice I could give would be to keep your kiddo busy, teach her to be independent and constructive with her quiet time, and above all teach her respect and patience. Kids are always in a big hurry to get to the next place in life, for us driving is a huge issue right now and freedom. You look forward to it, but it is also so scarey to let them go. You have a few years before you have to worry about that though. Your daughter sounds like a very smart, strong willed little girl. Hard to take now at times I know, but it will serve her well as an adult. She'll learn to channel those qualities better as she gets older, hang in there! It is so much fun watching them grow into the people they are going to be.
Good luck with the oral chemo, I am glad to hear you are doing well.
I am curious, and you probably addressed this somewhere in your blog in the past but I have forgotten, sorry. What does yor daughter know about your cancer, if anything?
Have a great week! How about this weather!! It feels like a early fall, my favorite time of the year.
Take care!
Deb

nancygrayce said...

It's a privilege to pray for you!

Anonymous said...

Let's Go POWER PILLS!
Beth Patterson

Anonymous said...

Yeah! I'm so glad you get a break from going in there!

Don MacLeod said...

Greetings,I’m pretty happy with Xeloda.   I’m on four pills in the morning & four pills at night, two weeks on then one week off.  Last 2 quarterly scans have shown stability with no additional liver tumor activity. My next scan is schedule for 9/4.  Previously, I did FOLFOX with hours in the chair at the cancer center.  The outpatient Xeloda treatment provides for a better lifestyle.  My worst complication is that my hands and feet seem more sensitive & are prone to blisters.  The fatigue is manageable with good sleep & the occasional nap. Hold Fast & You’ve got great mom skillsDon MacLeodStage IV CRC since 2005 with bowel resection, Chemo, Liver tumor RFA, & liver tumor recurrence with Chemo…. 

Anonymous said...

Shwandra-

Glad that little Ella is feeling better. Just remember you are a wonderful Mom! Hope that your new procedure goes good for you. Thinking and praying for you always!

The Mudge Family