Hey everyone- First, Ella is feeling much better, so thank you all for your concern. Today was chemo day and a meeting with my oncologist. Doug and I met with him before the treatment. I was still having a difficult time, mentally, this morning. When I am not there, I live my life and forget about my diagnosis, for the most part. When I go back to the cancer center for my treatment, it is that reminder that I have a serious illness and that I am going to be knocked down and have to start over picking myself back up. So, I was very emotional this morning. Even Ella saw me crying and said, "What's wrong Mama?", and gave me a hug. It was sooo sweet and just melted my heart. Well, when I met with my doctor, he recommended I start doing a pill form of chemo called Xeloda, which I actually took for six weeks, when I was first diagnosed, before I had my first surgery. This will consist of me taking 3 pills in the morning, 3 pills in the afternoon for 7 days, then off for 7 days, so on one week, off one week and so on. The common side effects with this is mouth sores, diarrhea, fatigue, hand and foot syndrome(?). So we will see how it goes. It can also cause problems with my Coumadin and make my blood thinner, so I have to watch that carefully! I am very excited though to try this. I just need a break from the infusions. Doug and I agreed with my oncologist that this would be a good idea and if my CEA starts going up with this then we can go back. I did have my CEA drawn today, so I will hopefully find out tomorrow what it is. Especially since I didn't go to my chemo last time so I have been off for a month.
I want to thank you all for your mommy support and advice. I think being a mom is the toughest job ever. I just want my daughter to grow up knowing right from wrong, being first safe and healthy, but also happy, kind and caring to others. I do my best to accomplish this but am constantly guessing and second guessing myself. I love her so much I would do anything for her. But I don't want her to just get away with anything and everything, that does not help her for her future. So thank you all for your support for my health and my role as a mommy. I am so grateful to have you all who have unconditionally supported me.
I start taking my pills tomorrow morning. I will let you know how it goes and what me CEA is. gotta go to bed, Doug is standing here waiting for me to go up. I will write soon. Sorry it has been so long.
Oh, also, please check out the Croquet for cancer logo on the left. I will write more about that tomorrow. Good night. shawndra