Another week off

A quick update... I went to have my labs drawn today because one of my lab values, my absolute neutrophil count (for those medical people) was low for the study. When we repeated it today, it was still low, so I have to hold off on getting chemo this week. I have to repeat the bloodwork Wednesday and see if they are okay to start chemo next Monday. To tell the truth, now I am questioning whether I want to do the study drug or not, I would still do chemo just not get the study drug. There are many reasons for this thought, but I am searching around to get some other opinions on the drug to make an informed decision. I also found out today, that the biopsy results from last weeks endoscopic ultrasound came back negative, non-cancerous. That is great news!!! This may change everything as far as treatment goes. The doctor who did the procedure and biopsy tried to reach my oncologist and my surgeon, both were out of town. So I hope to hear more tomorrow when my oncologist gets back and can get this information. I have more to talk about, but I really want to go talk a bit with my husband. I feel like we haven't had time to just sit and talk at all lately. We need to catch up with each other. Shawndra

Friends

Here is a picture of my very good friend, Sara, from Chicago who was here this weekend visiting us. (Also check out the new photos on the left) We had such a good time. We mostly just hung out doing nothing but laughing, watched a classic movie that brought us together as friends. You may know the movie, " Better off Dead". We became friends from rattling off quotes from this movie in college, annoying all of our sorority sisters who were trying to sleep. We just giggled the whole night and became great friends. We went out to the lake, I vicariously enjoyed water tubing by watching Sara and Doug bounce around on the tube with huge smiles on their faces. We ate, slept, talked, drank, swam, laughed and laughed and cried a little. It was a perfect weekend. Thank you Sara for your friendship, it means the world to me! It was so hard to see her leave. I hope I see her again. I really felt with this visit that I had to tell her exactly what I felt, that I appreciated our friendship and her. I don't know if and when I will see her, so I have to let her know now in case I don't get the chance to later. I think I need to do that more often, seize the moment and tell people how I feel about them or about my relationship with them. Ya know. We should all do that. We don't ever know when we will see each other again. I don't want to have any regrets.
I am gearing up for a busy week, restarting chemo on Wednesday. I go to have my teaching for chemo tomorrow afternoon. Then I will go in Wednesday bright and early to start up again. I have to say, it has been so nice not having chemo these past few weeks, it is really going to be mentally difficult to go Wednesday. I better get to bed, it is getting late. I wanted to read more of my book tonight, but I wanted to get these pictures up (with the help of Doug of course). I also read through all my birthday cards again since it is so hard to read them closely at the time of receiving them. Thank you all again for the kind cards, etc. I will get my thank you's out soon. Have a great week everyone. I appreciate you all taking your time to read this, thank you once again. Shawndra

Oprah

Hi Everyone- Sorry it has taken me awhile to get another blog out. I went to see Don Piper of the book "90 minutes in Heaven" on Wednesday night. I needed a bit of time to think about what all he said and absorb it. I also spoke with my counselor about my thoughts. See, I have struggled with what I believe. I am working on my spiritual journey and have so many questions and am trying to understand and learn. Don Piper had a vision of Heaven, and for me it was hard to understand that vision. It seemed so unreal to me. But he was great in the fact that he talked about the "new normal" which I am trying to figure out in myself. He also talked about how God IS in the miracle business, that was good to hear!!! It was also a church service and they had everyone who had a "burden" who wanted to, come up so they could pray with us. My mom and sister went up with me, it was a good experience. I am very glad I went. Thank you Julie, Julie's mother, Barbara, Brandi, Kelly, Andrea and my mom for going with me. I wanted to invite any of you who are interested to read this book, "90 minutes in Heaven" by Don Piper. Maybe in the next couple of weeks, we can have some type of book club through the blog to get feedback and opinions of what everyone thinks about it. I am going to see if Doug can possibly put up a chat area, such as Chris and Jennifer Ireland habe on their blog so maybe I can set a date and we can all chat about it. If you are interested let me know. I hope it will change lives. Oprah, this book is a good one for your book club too, hehe. (Because I am sure she reads my blog every day, I am sure she has the time, ha)

I want to thank you all for sending your letters in to Oprah. I have heard about so many connections, that I have a good feeling that my dream of going or being on Oprah will come true! I talked to my neighbor and friend, Brandi, who actually taped a show, paused it at the end when the credits were rolling to get a producers name. She then proceeded to call Harpo productions and left messages for 2 assistants. Much to our surprise, she got a phone call yesterday from one of those assistants, Megan. She told Brandi that they have been on hiatus for the past couple of months so they are just getting back to work. She told her that the best thing to do was continue to inundate them with emails to them. So, keep up the good work. Brandi also suggested sending letters through the topics that Oprah has for her shows.... "Are you on a spiritual journey" and ugh, I can't remember the other one, I will find out though. So, I think if we keep at it, she will just want us to stop hounding her, she will have to respond, right?

Well, I got all my testing done so I can start the new study and new medication. I had another CAT scan this morning as well as bloodwork and an EKG this afternoon. I have officially become a pin cushion. As my friend Sara said this morning, you didn't even flinch, Shawndra, when they started the IV. It doesn't even phase me anymore. I should be starting the chemo next Wednesday. Again, I am a bit nervous, for the side effects (hair loss, facial acne-like rash, nausea, vomiting, fatigue). I will learn more about them next Monday. I can only imagine, I will finally get on Oprah and I will have this horrible acne rash and no hair, oivay. anyway I will show my true beauty, my beauty within. I will let that shine and nobody will even notice the external blemishes.
I want to thank my friend Sara who is here with me this weekend. She is a great friend from college who brings so much happiness into my life! I want to thank my mom, I can't thank her enough for all she does for me. I want her to know that I cherish her, each and every day. I rely on her so much and I don't want it to go unnoticed. She is truly an angel to me as she is to everyone around her. I hope I am like her, I want to be like her!! I love you Mom. You are probably wondering how Ella is, I haven't talked about her much lately. She is as fun as ever. She is still going peepee in the potty once in awhile. She is putting her shoes and socks on, but always the shoes are on the wrong foot. It is so funny, you would think she would get it right at least 50% of the time. She is talking so much and so well. I am impressed that she now says "thank you or chank chu" on her own once in awhile without me prompting her. She is so kind and sweet, I want to teach her to be kind as she grows up. That, I believe is so important. I don't doubt that she will be, her personality shines and she is kind hearted.
I am spending the weekend with my friend Sara, yaa! We are just going to hang out like old college days. I hope you all have a terrific weekend. Gotta go get Ella who is talking up a storm in her bed, naptime is over. Time for the poo (pool). love, shawndra

A sign

Well, I am awake from my "nap". I hope I didn't say anything bad, hehe. Everything went well. The doctor did see that it is a tumor, which we pretty much knew. He did biopsy it. I don't think it will change much as far as treatment. He did mention a couple of things we will be checking into but I did accept an offer to start on a study with the new medication called folfiri along with another medication called Vectibix. This is supposed to be a promising new drug. I did consult with Dr. Foster, who I recently saw in Omaha and he agreed that this was a good option. That made my decision to go ahead with it. The only down side is that I have to go have another CAT scan, bloodwork and EKG before I can start the study. Ugh. I feel like this is my life now, doctors, needles, etc. Oh well, small price to pay if it works, right! Let's pray that it works. I will be learning more, but I think one of the side effects is an acne like rash on my face and maybe body. I am not looking forward to that. Also hair loss may be more likely with this new regimen. I may have to have a few people over for a hat party, or a shave your head party... who is with me.... hehe. That will be a difficult day, but I know a lot of people go through it and I can do it too.
I have to tell you about the "sign" I received today. I will try to make it short. I had a book in my hands when I went in for my procedure, one that my good friend, Julie, gave me recently. It is about a minister who was in an accident and died for 90 minutes. The nurse saw my book and told me she was just talking about this book with one of the other nurses. Apparently, the minister who this story is based on is speaking tomorrow night here in KC. I take this as a sign and will be attending. It is amazing these subtle hints or "signs" we are given. You just have to be paying attention to spot it. Sometimes we get to busy and let it pass us by. Thank you, God, for this "subtle hint". I will listen and act on it! Have a great night sleep everyone. Thank you all for checking up on me, praying for me and being my support system. I have such a strong support system!!!
PS. I was kind of bummed I didn't wear my tiara today since my birthday is over. I guess I don't need a reason to wear it but people at the store, etc. might look at me a little funny. I better go try to read more of this book before tomorrow night. Good dreams...

One of the best

Thank you everyone for contributing to one of the best birthday's I have ever had. I don't think it quite tops the one year that my parents had a "carnival" in their backyard, that we helped put together by painting boxes to make games. My grandma was the clown, hehe. Anyway, it was up there though with that birthday. No clowns this year, thankfully! But I had an extended celebration from the lake house on saturday with family and a few close friends, then a barbeque with Doug's family Sunday evening. We got to spend some quality time with Doug's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin who all came up to see us Sunday as well. Today I got to spend time with my mother most of the day, as well as Ella. We ended the day with my parents, my sister and her family and Doug, Ella and I eating at Beach Bum's. This is a tame Chucky Cheese place. I had a great time, I felt like a child again and loved it!
Thank you to everyone who sent emails, cards, flowers, gifts, phone calls, anonymous Angel statues, etc. You all made me feel so loved today, and so blessed to have so many wonderful, amazing people in my life. Andrea, thank you for secretly spreading the word to so many that it was my birthday, I have the best sister, she is such a huge support of me and I love her so dearly!!!
Ugh, I can't thank you all enough. As you may have seen from one comment, I got to also dance a bit in the rain, Thank you brandi for that memory as well! It won't be forgotten. I also wore a lovely pink "princess" tiara that my niece, Libby, made for me. I felt like quite the princess today.
Well, I have my procedure, the endoscopic ultrasound, tomorrow at around 1:30-2pm. I have to be there at the hospital at 11:30am. I will be going under general anesthesia, I found out. I, thankfully, didn't have to do the in depth bowel prep for it (one good thing about having the ostomy, hehe). That way, I got to eat for my birthday, even though I didn't find this out until noonish, so I hadn't eaten all morning. I made up for lost time though for lunch and dinner. I will let you know what happens tomorrow and how things go. I should be coming home after the procedure pending no complications. Other news: I may be doing a study with my new chemo, I will know more in the next few days but then I should be able to get started on this new chemo in the next week. I am also probably going down to MD Anderson once again to see the oncologist and surgeon I saw when I was first diagnosed. I don't know if they will have anything to tell me but we figured we should go back and have them reevaluate everything just to see. So lots going on in the next few weeks. I will talk more about them at another time. I need to finish getting through my cards that I received in the mail today. I want to admire all my flowers. I also have to fill out all my health history and information for the packet they sent for my procedure tomorrow. Nothing like last minute. Anyway, thank you all again for all my well wishes. I have to admit part of the time this weekend, my mind would wonder to the thought that this may be my last birthday I celebrate. I tried to make the most of it and was able to be with a lot of loved ones and lived it fully! I hope that I can look back several years from now and think how silly that thought was but it is real, I have to be "real" with myself. I will leave you all again with a great quote that someone sent me for my birthday and I want to share it with all of you.... "Find ecstacy in life; the mere sense of living is joy enough." by Emily Dickinson. I am off to go snuggle with my husband and my dog and look over my sleeping, darling daughter. I am the luckiest wife and mother alive. I am looking forward to my well deserved intentional nap tomorrow, ahhh that stuff is great when they put you under general anesthesia, night night shawndra, just don't say anything you'll regret before you are knocked out, hehe. shawndra

Patiently

Thank you all for waiting patiently, I know as my family has been, you are all wondering what came of my visit to Omaha this morning. I have to say first that we are glad we went up there to meet with Dr. Foster. We really liked him, thought he was very knowledgeable and kind hearted. He basically said that he didn't think I was a candidate for surgery at this time, which is also what my surgeon in KC said on Tuesday when I met with her. The difference being, I believe my surgeon here feels like there isn't any more she can do at all. He atleast gave me hope that there maybe something he can do in the future. He wants me to try a different type of chemotherapy called folfiri, which I know my oncologist mentioned at the very beginning of all this. It is a little different, but Dr. Foster thought that sometimes one person can have better results from one versus the other. He thought that the chemo I have been on has atleast kept my cancer contained thus far but now with the new growth, that it is time to try this other chemo. He said usually the best results occur within the first 2-3 months of being on the chemo. I don't know about all the side effects, and treatment regimen yet, I do think it would be similar to my other schedule though, every 2 weeks. If there is a great reaction to this chemo, there could be a possibility of surgery to debulk the cancer down the road. He seems more aggressive and willing to do this if possible. He was going to contact my oncologist so we can hopefully get started on the new regimen. I am having my dad contact many people, again, around the country to get more evaluation/reevaluations. I might also be going back down to MD Anderson to get another opinion from them.
I am not ready to give up. After my appointment Tuesday with my surgeon here, I felt like that is what everyone is telling me, that there is no more options. But I am not accepting that right now and atleast Dr. Foster gave me a little hope. I still feel like this is a very, very steep hill to climb and one that most don't make it to the top of but I am going to try.
I feel it is even more important though to continue to live my life and I feel almost a sense of urgency about it. I need to live now because I don't know what is to come. Even though none of us do, I am faced with a high probability that I am not only a third of a way through my life.
So yes it was good to go see Dr. Foster, and we will see him again in a few months to check on the progress of the new chemo, which I will hopefully be starting soon once it is coordinated with my oncologist (who is out of town for a week or so,ugh). How dare he go out of town, hehe. This is hopeful news but yet not the cure all. I still have a lot of praying to do, and I do feel a bit like I can pray until my lips turn blue and this still may not give me a longer life. Does anyone else feel that way? I am not giving up on the power of prayer, but it doesn't always get you what you want, you know?
On another note, Doug and I missed Ella so much. We were glad to get back to her and our dog Lexi, who is still at grandma and grandpa's so she can go early tomorrow to get groomed. She is our other baby. I am so glad Doug was with me and could go on this trip (thank you to his boss, Jeremy and his company for being so understanding and allow him to be with me). I need him so much and it was nice to have him by my side. When I don't get the news I want to hear, my eyes always well up with tears and he immediately comes to my side and puts his hand on me and kisses me. I am so blessed to have him with me.
I also want to briefly (because this message is not brief) thank you all for sending your messages in to Oprah. I hope she hears us and responds! I hope she allows me and maybe others to use her platform for this great cause of bringing awareness to cancer affecting way to many people, especially young people. I appreciate your support.
I also found out my "procedure", the endoscopic ultrasound will be next Tuesday, the 24th. The day after my birthday. This is to look at the rectal area to see what is going on down there, even though we have a very good idea that it is recurrence! I've got to stop typing now, for your sakes not mine. I will leave you all with a scripture that I found that I really like and am repeating in my head... Psalm 118:17; I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.

Please help me...

As many of you who know me know, I have emailed Oprah recently a few times in hopes of telling my story to the public, as well as hoping for the opportunity to meet her. Even though I don't watch her as much as I used to, I think she has a great platform and does good things with that opportunity. As I have thought of all the things I would like to do in my life, one is to meet her or atleast be in the audience of one of her shows (preferrably her favorite things show, hehe). My mom came up with an idea the other day and I thought I would take her advice and post this blog....
She thought that I should try to reach all the young adults out there, around my age that are fighting cancer. We need to get the word out that young adults are suffering and dying from this disease as well as older people. If you all who are fighting cancer, as well as those who aren't but want to be involved, email oprah by going to oprah.com. Tell her your story and that you want to bring awareness to this disease that many young people are fighting as well. Maybe if we all bombard her with emails, she will realize the epidemic that is going on and that it isn't just one person, but so many that are affected by this that maybe she will help us bring awareness and hopefully that will lead to more minds being concerned, more research and eventually a cure for cancer!!!! So, please email oprah and let's see what we can do to let the world know that we are here, we are fighting and we aren't going away or giving up on the ultimate goal of being cancer free. You can mention my name and my story as well if you want. I just don't want to sit by and let this keep happening to more and more people, especially young people who have a lot of living to do (not that older people don't). Thank you everyone, I hope something good comes out of my battle with cancer. I have it for a reason and I am going to create a reason since I don't know the real reason. Sincerely, Shawndra

PS. still no news yet on when my procedure will be or what my lab results are that I had this morning. I will let you know.

Tomorrow is a new day

We had a nice, relaxing weekend. Well, let me start over, after a Friday night visit to the ER, we had a relaxing weekend. Not to worry, it wasn't me this time. I ended up taking Doug to the emergency room Friday night after our dinner with his parents. Doug was not feeling well at all and ended up collapsing, then he was really out of it and very, very weak. He is okay, it just seems to be dehydration, but we were worried about his electrolytes since he hadn't had much to drink all day long and got sick earlier that morning. The fluids perked him up a bit and he came home about midnight Friday night. The rest of the weekend we layed pretty low, with just family over to play with Ella a couple times, but Doug is still not completely back to "normal". He is frustrated that he just didn't feel like doing much, again, not the norm, he is usually project king, always has something going on. I, personally, liked having him loaf around with me and Ella, hehe.
Again, thank you everyone for all your comments on the blog, I appreciate each and every one of them.
This coming week will be busy, tomorrow is bloodwork and another appointment with the psychologist, which I am looking forward to, actually! Then Tuesday I have an appointment with my surgeon, that I made at the time when I thought I was stopping chemo. We are then leaving Tuesday night for Omaha to be ready for an appointment with a new doctor to us, through the wonderful assistance of Chris Ireland and Jan Velander. That appointment is Wednesday. I hopefully will find out more about the recent reports and if I am going to have more testing or what the plan is from here. I will, hopefully, no more tomorrow.
It was interesting, this morning, we didn't make it to church. We were all resting this afternoon, and I just had this strong urge to go to church. So I popped out of bed, threw on some nicer clothes and told Doug I was going to church. He was asleep and not all there when I told him this. I am really glad I went, and the mass really pertained to me. Father talked about loving your neighbors and doing things to help people in need. Of course, this made a lot of sense to me, I have been "the one in need" lately. There was a great verse and I said it over and over in church but of course, now I can't remember it. ugh. I believe I went for a reason, not that there isn't usually a reason to go, but this time more so, ya know.
I am looking forward to this week, getting more answers and getting closer to what we are going to do about this new development! Let's hit God hard with all the prayers, thank you! I will keep you posted. Shawndra

Well...

I had my scan this morning, thank you all for your wonderful prayers and thoughts. I got innundated today with people from a sight called Especially Heather, thank you for sharing the love Heather!!! Thank you all so much for your unending support, it definitely helps me get through these times.
I tolerated drinking the contrast today, it really wasn't too bad this time, it was like Orange Crystal Light. I tried to think of myself back in college where I just chugged even though it tasted nasty! It worked! I did call a little bit ago and got some initial results. They are concerned that there may be recurrence of cancer in the rectum, pelvic area. They want to do another test, supposedly called an endoscopic ultrasound ( I need to look it up to get more information). I won't know any more until Monday. I am hoping that there is a simple fix to this, maybe a surgery to cut it out or something they can do, as long as there is a possible treatment I think I can handle it!
My very good friend all the way from 5th grade and I with our children went to Wonderscope today to get my mind off things. It is a cute place with different rooms with all sorts of activities for the kids. We had a lot of fun, thank you Julie for your friendship.
We are going to go over to Doug's parents for dinner tonight and I am going to have some wine, maybe more than some, hehe. We are going to enjoy our weekend, we have a party to go to tomorrow night and may have some of Ella's cousins over to play on the swingset. I am not going to worry about this right now, there is nothing I can do, so worrying is not going to help.
Oh, I forgot to tell you, poor Doug, I think he caught a stomach bug that my mom had the other day and maybe what Ella had last weekend. He wasn't feeling well, he ended up coming to the scan with me, we were sitting in the room after I drank my contrast and he just darted out of the room, tried to go to the bathroom but somebody was in it. He came running back into our room and had to grab the trash can and got sick. I felt so bad for him. He has been resting all day. He probably didn't want me to share that with you all, but I just felt horrible for him. I know how miserable it is to feel sick! Doug- thank you for your loving words that you wrote and for the endless love you give me! I am so lucky to have you as my husband and father to Ella.
I better go, Ella is crying in her bed. I will let you know when I find out more on Monday.
Have a great weekend everyone! shawndra

That Helpless Feeling

Shawndra asked me to write an entry while she's being scanned. Together, just moments ago, we read the results of the PET/CT scan from Wednesday past. As I think & type, I can't seem to block out the sentence in the report that reads -- "This is highly suspicious for malignancy." The scan of her pelvic region today, with intravenous contrast, will aid the doctors in determining how severe this "lighted up area" is.

This feeling of helplessness is aweful. Isn't there somebody out there that can "fix" this? Yes, I'm angry. I don't wallow in self pity though... far from it. Shawndra is enduring most of the pain, and I always remember that. I can be her husband, her rock, her emotional partner, and the rest, I leave to God.

Hi baby. You're walking out of the scan now... with a smile on your face no-less. Oh, how you light up my life. Love you. - Doug

Difficult time

Well, things were looking good until yesterday. I got a call that something in my rectum area lit up on the PET/CT scan. They aren't sure what it is , if it is more cancer, so I am scheduled for a CAT scan with contrast tomorrow morning around 10-11. This really upset me and I am having a hard time emotionally. I was getting myself prepared to stop chemo and move forward with everything and now I am in limbo land again. I am also scared, the fear of dying and leaving my daughter without her mother, that is my biggest fear. I am still going to fight and do everything I can, but this makes me feel like I am drowning and trying to keep my head above water. It feels like a battle that is very difficult to win! Most don't win. I did go and see a psychologist the other day who specifically deals with cancer patients and I was very impressed by her. I will be seeing her again and hopefully can deal with all this pent up emotion. As I told her, I have prided myself on being a strong, independent, non emotional person. I don't know why, but I just did. I don't necessarily feel that way anymore. I still try to be strong, as you all who know me can see, but I am working on the emotional part. We also discussed the fact that I don't want to burden people, maybe some of you out there know what I am talking about. I know so many of you have offered to help me and I don't often take you up on it because I don't want to be a burden. I will just do it myself, ya know. anyway, I need to be better at that and asking for what I need.
My hope is that this scan tomorrow shows that this may be something else, not more cancer. Please pray for this to be the case. I don't want to go backwards, but I want to move forward. My whole life has been placed on hold. I should be in my prime, building my family, my career, etc. But that has all been halted and I don't know if I will get any of it back.
Sorry to bring you all down, I am just venting and expressing my feelings as they come. This is kind of like my journal, except my real journal may have cuss words in it, hehe.
I hope I have better news the next time I write. I will let you all know. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!!!! shawndra

My computer won't let me put a title in so here is the title.... Round 11 down-ding. Imagine a girl in a bikini walking around a boxing ring with the 11 sign, hehe. The update is, Shawndra in the blue corner(for colon cancer) beating the heavyweight champion of the world, Signet cell adenocarcinoma, in the red corner. As I think I told you all, my CEA (tumor marker) is down to 6.9. Normal is around 4. This is good news. I met with my oncologist Friday. He basically told me that usually he recommends atleast 8 rounds of chemo, which I have passed, then he says there is no right or wrong answer. So he said I could stop chemo for now and see how it goes, keeping monitoring my CEA and scans, of course. I have another PET/CT Wednesday morning to see how things look. I am also going to try to take reinforcements (my dad and Doug) to another appointment Thursday to see if he still wants to proceed this way or not. I am a bit nervous about stopping chemo, but at the same time that would be great, ya know. I have frantically been calling the oncologist from MD Anderson who I got a second opinion from when I was first diagnosed as well as another oncologist/surgeon I talked to early on to see what their recommendations might be. I may have to go visit a few places to get the answers but I want the best option, I want to live, and I will do whatever I can and have to do.
I was on the internet again trying to do some research on all this to prepare myself for meeting with the doctors. I am also trying to see if I can get my ostomy reversed, but I know my surgeon is concerned about recurrence of the cancer and wants to wait. I also scheduled an appointment with her next week to talk to her about this again. Anyway, I know you all tell me it is bad to be on the internet but of course that is how I do my research. Again, I came across incredibly poor statistics to the very rare (o.1%) type of cancer I have, the guy in the red corner. I got a little down but keep trying to tell myself, I am not going to be a statistic. I can't leave my daughter, my husband or my family and friends. I'm not going to go there.
Well, I just wanted to let you know how chemo went and how my appointment went. I have many appointments coming up, as well as my scan, so I will keep you posted.
Ella wasn't feeling so well this weekend, so we had a very relaxed time, didn't do a whole lot. She went pee pee on the potty again tonight and clapped her hands and said, yaaaaa. So cute, I love my punks, that is her nickname....or punky. Until next time... shawndra

4th of July

I hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July. We had a great time, as usual. We got to spend some time with Chris Ireland and his girls. We really enjoyed getting to be with them!!! The girls are absolutely adorable. There was a big turn out at the lake, so I got to briefly talk to many people. That is the one thing though, is there is always so many people, I feel like I don't get to spend much time with anyone, ya know. But my dad bought a new paddle boat, the old one was beyond repair! We took a few paddle boat rides and Ella spent quite a bit of time in the water, or on a raft. She really enjoyed a little motorized raft that squirted water at people, she thought that was so fun! She giggled a lot. I will try to have Doug help me get some pictures posted maybe this weekend sometime. My parents also had a mini moonwalk that the kids enjoyed immensely. I don't think I can say that I relaxed much but it was a lot of fun. I got a great workout with all the stairs I went up and down multiple times that day. We are so fortunate to be able to spend time at their lakehouse. It is such a family friendly place and we are blessed to be able to be out there with so many wonderful friends and family! Okay, I think you all get the picture of how much fun I had!
I meet with my oncologist today, a regular meeting before chemo, which will be this coming monday, now that I skipped this week and had 3 weeks off, ahhh! I believe it will be round 11, 5 1/2 months down. I am once again going to try to find out what the plan is for chemo, how much longer, etc. I don't know though, if, as usual, he will know what the plan is. I am just getting tired of waiting to see how things go. I have a feeling that is what he will tell me though. I am going to ask him if he will talk with my surgeon and see if it is possible after my next scan to go in and look inside me to see how things really look in there, since none of the tests are definitive. I will let you all know what I find out.
This weekend is low key for us, no real plans yet. This is a nice change from all the scheduled activities. Even though we had a great time, it is nice to have that time just to not have anything scheduled and fly by the seat of our pants, weeeee! We got our new swing set which has been a hit with the neighborhood kids. Ella loves going up the ladder, through the tunnel and down the slide! We will probably play on that some this weekend.
I hope you all have a great weekend as well. Pictures will come soon. Thank you everyone, especially my parents for such a great weekend and 4th. My parents work so hard so everyone can have a great time out at the lake, and I think I can speak for everyone in saying thank you for all the hard work you do!!!! love, shawndra

Family

What a great weekend we had for the Beauchamp family reunion!! It was so wonderful to see all the family, only missing a couple of them! We did go to the farm on Saturday, this was interesting because Ottawa was basically flooding. We trudged through the rain and mud though and all got to hang out in close quarters and catch up. We also got to be with my Uncle Jack who is suffering from cancer. This is his buffalo farm we were at in Ottawa. He is very weak and sleeps a lot so he didn't get to be with us much but we did get to be there to support him and love him and pray with and for him! Jack, hang in there, we love you dearly! It was quite an emotional day. To his immediate family- we are all here for you in this difficult time! We love you all so much and are thinking and praying for you all.

On a happier note, we got to have another great day at my parents lakehouse yesterday. The sun actually peaked out and shined. God finally found a plumber to shut off the faucet up there. hehe. It was just incredible being with the family, I am blessed with a loving, fun, crazy family on both sides!

I am holding up well, a little pain yesterday, very tired after the Saturday festivities. But all in all, doing very well. We have a new cleaning crew coming in today, ahhhh! That will be so nice. Our house needs it, I just can't keep up with it all. Not for a lack of trying!

More family comes in today from Colorado, the crazy Coon family so we will get to celebrate the 4th with them as usual and many more friends and family. I know I have said it before, this is one of my favorite days of the year. This year especially, I am just taking everything in, I don't want to miss a moment or a memory. I think we should all do it that way, we never know when our day will come. Gosh, I am a broken record, aren't I. If I chose my broken record, it would be a John Denver record, "I love John Denver". That is a quote from me from one of my younger crazier days, hehe. (picture me with a few drinks in my system yelling that, ugh)

Anyway, I better get ready for the cleaning ladies. Ella is sleeping peacefully as I write. We went and bought her a swingset today, it is awesome. We are having it set up tomorrow morning, oh she is going to love it!!

"Happy Birthday America", my Uncle Tim and Aunt Jan's famous quote on the 4th. Everyone, have so much fun, but as always, be safe and smart!! love, shawndra