Tuesday, January 13, 2009

I'm Bored

"I'm bored." were Shawndra's first words when I arrived to the ICU this morning. Those words were the most she has spoken in more than 24 hours, and hearing them was such a relief. Now that Shawndra is relatively pain free, Doc Morgan "turned down" the pain drugs. As a result, she's more coherent today. Although she's still fighting an infection and the iliostomy isn't yet functioning, she's in much better spirits. Having suction hooked up to her G tube is slowly relieving pressure in her abdomen.

As planned, her ureteral stents where replaced this morning. Unfortunately, though, the stents are not source of what is causing the pain. Lots of stool in the intestines and tumor pressing against nerves are the reasons.

So back to the "I'm bored" comment, Shawndra made... I asked her if she wanted to play Yahtzee, knowing she would smile a bit. (A little history to that comment: two years ago, after her first cancer surgery, we played Yahtzee in her hospital room. She kicked my butt.) Instead I turned on the radio in the ICU room and tuned to 105.1 Jack FM. "Turn Up The Radio" filled the room (you remember Autograph, the 80s band?). I sang that to her, well, just the chorus, cause I admit, I don't know any other lyric. :) She grinned a smile. I suppose she didn't like my singing (or my breath).

Gary & Carolyn, Shawndra's parents, decided early yesterday morning to cut their vacation short and start the long trip home from Snowmass. I'm glad they did. It's comforting that they're here now with Shawndra, and me.

Ella woke up asking for mommy this morning. She slept in mommy's spot in our bed last night. I was too tired at 8:30 PM last night to lay on the hard floor in her room for an hour, waiting for her to fall asleep, so I just told her that last night was a special night, and she got to sleep in "mommy & daddy's bed". Hmmmm, seems like there are a lot of special nights these days. So when Ella stated "mommy is getting better in the hospital", I had a difficult time coming up with a reply. Is she really getting better? I don't even remember what I said... I think it was something to the affect that "mommy loves you all the time" -- from the "Love You All The Time" book. Ella loves that book, and mommy read it many times to her.

During Dr. rounds this evening, we'll ask Dr. Morgan about moving her out of ICU and into a room. After a room... who knows. A lot of options have been discussed. As Dr. Morgan stated yesterday, you have to live 1/2 day at a time. I like that phrase.

My sister, Krissy, "celebrated" her 35th birthday yesterday, hanging out with me in the ICU. My mother was also here with me. Thank you two. I appreciate your support.

Thanks for your comments and prayers. Currently, we're just taking it 1/2 day at a time...

- Doug


Robin said...

Thoughts and prayers for Shawndra and your whole family.

Terra Shover said...

Aw! I'm not sure what I'm touched more by; your unwavering strength and ability to keep your sense of humor through all of this, or those precious girls of yours Doug! I hope you know, that not only has Shawndra been an inspiration to "us", but you have as well. Although we in blogland only see a glimpse of you, your spirit, as well as Shawndra's, are something to be admired!

Now go get that girl some celeb trash to read before she goes nuts!

God Bless you All;


Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that Shawndra is coherent now and her pain has lessened. I pray for Shawndra every single day without fail, and you, too Doug. Thanks for the update. I must check twice a day.
Lots of thoughts and prayers for you,
Christy in Tampa

Tara said...

Shawndra, Doug and family,

We are praying for you. Lots of love being sent your way. May you find peace in those tough times.

Tara Barnow Smith (Yes, Terry's daughter from Chanute Ks!)

Anonymous said...


Thank you for the update. I hope today brings more positive developments.

You all are in my heart and on my mind always.

Love, Dustin

Anonymous said...

...Continuing to pray for you guys. I pray that you would feel the peace that only the Lord can give.

Jen in Indiana

Anonymous said...

It is a blessing that Shawndra is more comfortable now. Hoping that continues. It is good to know you are both surrounded by family. Please let Shawndra know we are thinking of her and all of you as well. Thank you so much for your post on how she is doing.

Susan McRae and family

Michelle said...

Shawndra and Doug,

You're both amazing. I continue to pray for you...for peace, comfort and strength.

You're always in my thoughts and prayers.


Roswita said...

Doug and Shawndra

She's bored!!!


YOU, showed you know what makes her smile and not to be bored any longer!!

Your news sure keep switching, and it's so great to hear they switched to better news.

We all keep on praying for you. It sure seems to be working.

Hug and kiss your lovely girls for us, Doug.
God bless you all.


Anonymous said...

Praying for ALL of you ALL the time.
I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall for your concert, Doug.
Beth Patterson

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you and yours as you go through this roller coaster and difficult time. My heart aches that Shawndra and all who love her are going through these extremely difficult times. May all of you feel God's loving arms holding you each and every moment.

Vickie Kruse Wieberg said...

Dear Doug, Again, thank you for the update. I too check the site twice a day sometimes. I really like when I can leave her sight knowing that she is not in pain & is saying she is bored! That is a great relief. Appreciating the valleys, so to speak!
I'm glad that you have your family there( Shawndras & yours). You probably need the support as well.
Your spirit really does shine through in your writings, just like Shawndras. You do seem to be the perfect fit for each other. What you wrote about Ella asking about her Mommy getting better was so sweet & yes, her Mommy is trying her best to get better & your answer was perfect.
Also glad to hear that Shawndra is awake & coherent...., she is a true fighter! Please cont. to update us 1/2 day at a time!! You are in my prayers!! Stay strong Shawndra!! God Bless, Vickie in J.C. Mo.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for the update. I am so glad to hear that Shawndra is feeling more comfortable. I will keep praying for Shawndra and you and Ella! You doctor sounds like a smart man...1/2 a day at a time. Tell Shawndra we are all thinking about her and hope to hear from her when she is feeling more comfortable!

Still praying,
Christie in GA

Stacy M said...

Doug and Shawndra: I have been reading your blog for more than a year but this is my first post. My husband and I went to school with Doug in Chanute. Our thoughts and prayers are always with you and your family. I am so relieved Shawndra's pain has improved. You both have such wonderful strength, humor and committment. The stories of Ella that you share are priceless and I enjoy each and every one of them. She is a lovely girl! I appreciate your updates as I check daily for them. Please know we are praying for you always. Take care, Stacy M

Anonymous said...

Lots of prayers are coming your way. You two are absolutely amazing and such an inspiration to all who read. Peace and love to all your family. jb

kelley said...

1/2 a day at a time sounds like some reject sitcom :)
Although I know that the real meaning behind it isn't that at all, but the sound sure does have a ring to it. Glad to hear ma and pa B are now home with you all, that is a long drive, and once out of Denver.....a BORING one. But I'd do it again, and not even complain. I am happy to hear too that Shawndra is bored. Not that boredom is real swell or anything, but it beats the heck out of "fighting", hurting or worrying. That yatzee game just might do the trick for boredom relief.
Our prayers will be to high tail it out of the ICU, with a quick layover in a Reg. room. Then back to the 'ol homestead.
Everyone will have an opinion about Ellas sleeping arrangements.......but it only has to "work" for you. She really won't be any worse for the wear for it, and if it means peace and quiet for all, then it sounds great. I am sure that she won't be schlepping off to kindergarten still sleeping with the folks.
Thanks for the updates, it is somehow a comfort to be a part of all this. Give each other a big hug from us and we will say our prayers that the next update includes discharge orders.

Lorna Taylor said...

Doug, your response to Ella was perfect. And the next time you want to sing to Shawndra, how about this:

"Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play..."

Some great memories there, to be sure --- and Shawndra is an All Star in anyone's book.

Anonymous said...

continued prayers from St. Louis. You and your family are in my constant prayers.

Anonymous said...

What Tara said.

Doug, you are an amazing husband and father to two amazing ladies (well, one lady and one little mischief filled girl!). Our prayers continue for you all, and our faith and positivity are unwavering. Every moment that you spend together is a victory against this disease and a reminder to us all that each minute is a gift.

Sending hugs and prayers to you all,

jg in CA

Anonymous said...

Doug, your strength is amazing. We pray that God will continue to hold you up as you take it 1/2 day at a time. You are in our thoughts and prayers always.
We love you Shawndra, Doug and Ella!
Kelly, Mark, Kayla and Grant

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Anonymous said...


You are so strong and such a fighter! You continue to amaze me with your strength and your spirit! I hope you were able to move out of the ICU today and that your pain has continued to be well controlled. I have been thinking about you all day and wondering how you are doing, so I was glad to read Doug's update. Please know that you will continue to be in my prayers everyday and that I am praying for God to bring you peace and comfort. I hope that you feel the love of all of those who are praying for you and your amazing family! Please call if there is anything you need or anything I can do to help.

Jennifer Teegarden

Joyce said...

Dear Doug,
Thank you so very much for updating us with your warm and humorous words. Such incredible love. Blessings to all. Love, Joyce

Anonymous said...

Shawndra, Doug, and Ella-

Our thoughts and prayers are with you always! You truly are the true defenition of Family! Keep Believing! We Love You All!

The Mudge Family

Anonymous said...

Doug I have to echo what has been said- Shawndra is amazing and so are you. I am glad she is more comfortable now and hope and pray she can stay that way as much as possible. I'm sure it can't be easy to keep a sense of humor but that has to help lift Shawndra's spirits. Very sweet and tender blog you wrote. I remember the first time I read that book and thought of Shawndra and you and how true it is for all parents. Many prayers and more to come for you and yours. God Bless you all.
Adriane Latz

Becky said...

I continue to lift you guys up in prayer. Your strength is awesome Doug with all that you are going through. I am glad you have family to support you. Give our love to Shawndra!

Astraea said...

I'm continuing to pray for you guys throughout the day. Please know your whole family is never far from my heart. So glad to hear the pain has lessened and Shawndra is awake!

Scott Wallisch said...

Shawndra, I'm still sending out the prayers from here in Jerusalem. I'm glad to hear the pain has subsided, if only a little, but I'll be praying for more relief.
Thanks to Doug for keeping us updated. I'm sure you know this, Shawndra, but you picked quite a guy. You both impress me with your faith and selfless love. Keep up the good work, because God is using you in ways we'll never know.

Andrea said...

Yahtzee? - I'm in!! Remember I just bought it for Colorado and we only played once while there, so, I can bring it on up to the hospital and we can get a good game on!! :) Also, if it makes you feel better our children are the same - amazing how cousins can do such similar things. I either have to lay on Avery's floor forever or she wanders in to our room sometime in the night and either crawls in bed or sleeps on my floor!! Yikes!
So glad to hear that Shawny got moved back to 4th floor yesterday!! Go Sharky!
Love you sister, love you Doug.
Glad we've been able to share so much together in the past 2 year!

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