Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Back to life.. back to reality

That song just popped into my head. I am sitting here, needle in my chest (port), getting my antinausea medication that they give me before starting the chemo infusions. I will be here for about 3 hours, then they will put the last medication on a pump that I will take home with me for two days, then I come back in one Thursday to have the pump taken off and I am free for a week and a half. That will be the schedule for the next several months. Doug is with me today, yaa!
I had a great weekend. We had Ella's birthday party on Saturday. It was fun, about 13 kids got to get their face painted if they wanted and hair sprayed different colors. They then dressed up in tutu's, tiara's and wands to dance around to music. I was a bit disappointed, they said there would be stuff for the boys, which there really wasn't, except for the hair spraying they liked but they weren't too excited about tutu's and tiara's. I know Ella had fun though and got a lot of fun girly gifts! My close friend, Sara, was in town with me for the weekend which always makes me happy! She is one of those friends that you just feel so comfortable around, you don't feel like you have to entertain, you can just be yourself and can talk about anything. That is a rare find sometimes, I am lucky to have found a few people like that. Unfortunately she lives in Chicago, good to get to see Chicago once in awhile but I wish she was closer so I could see her more often. We had a lot of fun, thank you Sara!

I haven't gotten the results back from my scan last week. Which, I am going to ask my nurse right now if I can get those results! They should have them by now. I will let you know what the findings are.

The plan for now is to continue this chemo regimen (folfiri) every two weeks for the next two -4 months. If my CEA level is not dropping with the chemo after a couple months, then I need to have a CT scan and possibly need to change chemo med's. If my CEA is dropping, then after 3-4 months on chemo I will do my CT scan then and touch base with Dr. Foster about surgery. This is all based on Dr. Foster's plan. So please pray that my CEA level does drop with chemo, that the chemo is killing those "bad" cells,and that my miracle does happen.

I don't remember if I really discussed with you all my appointment with my surgeon last week who did my first surgery and did my surgery a few weeks ago with my bowel obstruction. She is a great doctor, I like her very much. We discussed what she saw when she went in this last time. She saw a lot of little cancerous spots all over my small intestine, kind of like little beebee's all over. Then there is the mass of cancer in my pelvis that is all over the bottom wall, which was what caused my bowel obstruction, because the cancer had wound it's way around the intestine and she couldn't cut it away so that is why she had to do the ileostomy, so I wouldn't be blocked. That was very difficult to hear and picture. Again, it brings me back to reality of the situation so I can only pray for a miracle. I just keep repeating in my head.."I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the lord." I like that saying. Through him, all things are possible, even miracles! Thank you all for the prayers. I know he hears each of you! I will try to write sooner! I hope you all are doing well too! shawndra


Anonymous said...

Still praying for miracles!!!

Hope you enjoy a wonderful holiday season with friends and family!!!

Good to hear from you~
Deb (LSMO)

Anonymous said...

Keep hanging in there. We are all still praying for you.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

It is so nice to hear from you. I've been checking in daily & thinking of you this week as you were starting chemo back.
This chemo may just do the trick. They say half the battle is how the patient looks and feels- I don't know how you feel though you sound well, but you look stunningly beautiful. One would never know you were fighting this battle. So, you have fought half the battle w/ beauty & grace- you are halfway there.
Miracles happen. I will pray that you have minimal side effects this week & that you bounce back fast. You are very inspirational & I pray for you & check on you often.
Vickie Kruse

Vickie Kruse said...

P.S.- This is my email if u ever want to chat- vickirkrs@yahoo.com - Vickie

Susan said...

Praying praying for you!!!


The Mama Monkey said...

Hee Hee Now I have that song in my head as well!

Ella's party sounded like a magical time! I can't believe the boys were not into the tattoos! I am sure all of the guests had a great time...kids + ice cream and cake = fun!!

Praying that this round of chemo attacks the cells for you and makes them melt away and for a gentle cure.

Anonymous said...

Always praying for you, Shawndra.


Anonymous said...


We are praying for miracles for you! Keep Believing!!! God Bless you and your family!

The Mudge Family

Astraea said...

If it is His Will, your miracle will come. He loves you so much. I pray this round of chemo doesn't leave you too tired or sick. You're such a fighter!

Much love from AZ!

Michelle said...

Hi Shawndra,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, and praying for you always. :)


Anonymous said...

I am having positive thoughts that the chemo will work and surgery will be possible. You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

Love, Marny

kelley said...

All the thoughts and prayers being sent your way are AWESOME ones! May all this uncertainty end with the miracle of all miracles, and may this be the most magical holiday season ever. As much as I love to shop and find those most special gifts, I would trade it all to be able to know your miracle would be fulfilled. We will never give up that hope.

Michele said...

Praying for a miracle...

Anonymous said...


My heart and prayers are always with you. May the Lord shine his grace upon you and grant you peace.

Love to you!


robinandamelia said...

I can't even imagine what it's like to hear news like that from a doctor. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay strong.

Terra Shover said...

As always, praying that you get your miricle! I read this today and immediately thought of you - I hope it offers some comfort and inspiration.

"The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not
protect you."

Glad to hear from you :)


nancygrayce said...

I pray for you every time I go to your blog to check on you. I'm just a 56 year old woman, have lived in the same town almost all my life who loves the Lord and hurts for those who are hurting! You are amazing.

This morning while just washing clothes I was singing silly stuff to myself and then I sang this "I got a feeling you're up to a healing" out of no where this came. I'm not strange or crazy....but I believe the Lord heals. I'll continue praying for your healing! :)

Anonymous said...

Praying for miracles now and forever!! And praying for you to regain your strength after this round of chemo.Please keep up the fight...Jenny

Anonymous said...

Stay strong Shawndra. Your an amazing woman. Praying for you always!


Anonymous said...

Hi, Shawndra. This week of Thanksgiving I wanted to send you a hug. And tell you we are praying in minnesota. Emma had a wonderful time at Ella's party (she told me about it :-)
Love and Hugs from Minnesota.
Julie (jill's Mom)