Where to begin?.....I was extremely touched by the last couple of comments I received. I am touched by everyone's comments and I wish I could respond to each of you every time you email me. I feel like I have gained friends through my blog and I hope I have helped a few people through my blog as well. Forrest- I am saddened by your story and not only because of your wife's passing, but by the apparent sadness you are experiencing. I can't imagine the pain you feel but I hope you use that pain, sadness, and anger in a good way. Use your experience to help others and maybe that will help you. I am by no means licensed to give advice but I see your email as reaching out to me and I want to be there for you! I know that medication makes things easier at times, but in the end it doesn't take care of our problems, it only adds to our problems.
To all of you going through chemo and fighting cancer as well who have reached out. I do know some of your pains and experiences. Even though we are all different in ways, we now have many similarities. I hope you all know how loved you are and how many people support each of you. That is what gets me through this. The love I am surrounded by. Faith, your daughter is a blessing, as is my daughter. God works in mysterious ways, but we have to trust him and he will guide us in the right direction.
My husband has been very "busy" lately, cleaning, fixing things, not stopping to relax as he normally does. I realized tonight, after he told me, it is because he is anxious and nervous for my upcoming surgery. I realized I am not the only one feeling this anxiety and fear. Please keep Doug and the rest of my family in your prayers, help us with our anxiety and fears. Lord, help us ease our minds, take away our anxiety and fear. We trust you will be with us during this time to carry us through it. What ever happens, happens. Right?
On a lighter note, I have been consistently working out and it feels so good. I have a new found confidence. I notice I sit with better posture, I walk with more confidence and my body just feels good. I have missed that feeling in myself. I still have a long way to go, I have done some Pilates and Yoga and am soooo stiff it is truly embarassing. I noticed the Pilates instructor looking at me at times and instructing me. I wanted to just tell her my story so that I have an excuse for my stiffness and lack of ability but everyone has an excuse don't they. I just hope you all who are wanting to work out do and feel that great feeling I am feeling from working my body. ahhhhhh. it is great, better than sex, hehe, just kidding honey. teeheehee.
Anyway, I am busy getting things set up prior to surgery. Actually one of the blog commenters is a physician, and I have set up an appointment to see her for my physical. I am excited to see her. She has been a great supporter of me and I want to thank her as I want to thank all of you for supporting me and praying for not only me but my family who is also going through this journey with me.
Thank you for listening, thank you for responding to me and if there is anything I can do for any of you, I would love to give back what I have been given.
Oh, I also wanted to mention, Kelli, who I mentioned a couple blogs ago was just diagnosed with colorectal cancer, she is having surgery this Thursday, so.. Kelli, I will be thinking about you and your family, I wish you the best of luck in the surgery and the recovery! Prayer warriors, please add her to your prayers, especially these next few days.