Thursday, February 28, 2008

No sleep

Good Morning Everyone- It is 7:30 and I am up, showered, dressed, makeup on, bed made, room picked up.... this is very rare for me. Usually these days, now that I am not working, I wait until Ella wakes up before I wake up and hang out most mornings in my pajamas for awhile. I even sometimes take her to daycare in my pajamas. But last night, I didn't get a lot of sleep. I even took a sleeping pill and still tossed and turned. Ugh, I think lexi, the dog, just woke Ella up too! Yep, she is starting to fuss. Well, I need to make this short. But I think the upcoming surgery is weighing more heavily on my mind than I realize. I finally went to the couch around 1:30am and slept there so Doug could sleep.... I gotta go, Ella calls, I will write more later! Shawndra


Anonymous said...

I love this and wanted to share it with you all, some of you may have seen it...but to me it is something to start each day thinking about.....

To watch this clip will cost you 11 minutes of your life.

The message may well make the rest of your life more meaningful.

Of all the sermons and lectures I've heard, this may have had the most positive impact.

Yes, it's a clip from an Oprah show. It's been watched, I'm told, by over a million people. It's special.

Start it and if you aren't hooked in the first couple of minutes, then turn it off.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading this blog since the beginning and have never commented, but I felt a strong urge to after watching the video. As I type through tearful eyes I feel as if it was a "aha" moment (as oprah calls it)......
Truly amazing and so true when you think about what every person wants out of their life. Just the simple things.....
I will forward this on to every person I know and hope they will all watch this and get something out of it.
Coming from a family that has lost many from cancer it definately struck a cord with me.....
God bless you Shawndra, you are an inspiration to many!

Astraea said...

I have been thinking about you so much lately. I've been praying for you as a mother. I got a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach as I read your words about leaving Ella. Then a thought came to me..."What can I do to help Shawndra?" I would love to shower Ella with a little extra joy while you are away. Would you minding emailing me or posting on your blog what things Ella really likes now and what address things can be sent to?

It would be wonderful if even more readers want to join me!

Thank you for letting me walk with you on this journey. You're such an amazing person.

God Bless,

Anonymous said...

There is a song by a Christian artist that when I hear it I think of you. I wanted to share the lyrics with you: The song is called "You Never Let Go" and it by Matt Redman as you read them remeber how many people are praying for this fight and praying for the miracle that we desire for you and always remember that there is a higher power and He will Never let go.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth


Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Kristal Rayson

Kelley said...

I know that anything out of the norm causes anxiety. There is so much time going into something to sit a wonder. What if this, or what if that. They are all viable scenarios, and only one being knows that outcome prior to the event. You have to trust that he has a plan. Let that comfort your soul.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra!

I know the next week will be filled with anixiety and anticipation. Enjoy this special time with Ella and all of your family and friends. Please have Andrea let us know if there are things you and your family will need (ie. care for Ella, dinners etc). Much love!

bahama mama said...

Stress does crazy things to a person's mind, body and soul and it can be as tough to wrangle as a wild horse.
I know that nothing will completely ease your mind, but I once read something that may be worth trying...before you go to bed, write down everything that is on your mind. Maybe it is a list of everything you are worrying about surrounding your surgery. You could show the list to Doug, your parents, or no one. I think the key is to get the thoughts out of the confines of your mind, so that you may hopefully rest a little easier at night.
Sweet dreams my friend.

Love, d

Amy Vav said...

just sending some good vibes your way. glad to hear about the surprise - especially that Sara and Hillary came in town - I bet you laughed A LOT. Those 2 are so much fun. I hope the surgery goes well. You are surrounded by a HUGE group of people that love you...

Anonymous said...


Please know we are here if you need any help with Ella before or after your surgery. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep Believing!

The Mudge's

Leisa said...

Shawndra, your surprise last weekend sounds wonderful. What wonder friends and supporters you have. You are very lucky because not everyone has that many people to be there for them and rally the way your friends and family have during this difficult time in your life. God bless them all for lifting your spirits last weekend. I know it's just what the doctor would have ordered.

I hope you slept better last night than you did the night before and are all rested for the weekend. I know your surgery is just days away and this is your last weekend before. So make the most of it and try to enjoy. I know it's going to be weighing heavily on your mind and even if you tried, you won't be able to shake that. So just let it happen anyway and enjoy every minute of your weekend despite it.

I'll be thinking about you and praying for you every day this week. You have so many people who will be nervous right along with you until this surgery is over. May God be with you through this whole process and hold your hand to help you through it with the least amount of stress and anxiety as possible. That is my prayer for you. Take care Miss Shawndra. Everything is going to be just fine. Leisa

jas said...

I have been thinking about you SO much lately. I am really thankful that your FANTASTIC husband and sister were able to pull off a night/weekend that was well needed. It sure is good to take your mind off things sometimes:)
I blog on and there is a woman who has just started blogging as well. She too has colon cancer and has gone through surgery. You can't miss her with her beautiful smile and beautifully bald head. She has some VERY great things to share. You might look her up. She is VERY open to comments/questions, and it might be good for you both to share. I would love to help you in any way.
Thinking good thoughts for you always,