Friday, November 30, 2007

3 months down

Hey Everyone- Well I have finished 3 months on this chemo. This week was not as bad as the prior round of chemo. I did start of with the agitation I had before but started on Ativan quickly and it went away after the first night. I have been sleeping a lot but otherwise doing okay. No nausea or vomiting thank goodness! I am up and at 'em today with Ella so that is a good sign!

Leisa- I am so sorry to hear about all the stuff going on in your life right now. I will keep you in my prayers, and ask everyone who reads this to also add Leisa and her family to their prayer list. You can read her comment on my last blog to get an idea of how to pray!

There are so many people to pray for, I feel overwhelmed with how many people are becoming ill! My uncle has recently been undergoing problems and had a biopsy. I am not sure the results yet but I am afraid it isn't good news. My husband's grandfather has been undergoing treatment for tongue cancer for the last few months and is probably going to lose his speech and is eating only through tube feedings now. This breaks my heart and scares me that so many people are sick. What is happening? What are we doing in our society to cause all this illness? It has to be something we are doing? Do you agree? I wish I could change it or figure it out. My friend Angie who is living with us is a nurse at Children's Mercy. She works on the floor I used to work on and said that three children came in recently with brain tumors, ugh!!!! It is one thing for me or adults to become ill but for young innocent children that have only been here for a few years to become ill. That just absolutely breaks my heart! What can we do?

My mom and I are heading down to MD Anderson Sunday so I can go in early Monday for an all day event of testing. Drinking the nasty barium stuff again, which I dread! I will have a CT scan and an MRI as well as blood work which will entail a CEA. I will then meet with my oncologist there on Wednesday to hear what he has to say about the tests and the results. I need you all right now more than ever. I am scared that they will say there isn't much change and that the chemo isn't working and I will have to try another chemo. I will soon be running out of options if that is the case!!! I pray this chemo is working, killing the cancer cells in my body, bringing my CEA number down so that when I go see Dr. Foster in Omaha he might consider me for surgery to remove some of the cancer. I know ultimately, I have to keep it in the hands of God. He will do what is best for me, whether it is what I want or not. I have to believe he will be there for me and perform this miracle! He can not leave my daughter and husband without their wife and mother! God needs me here on earth.... "Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven".

I am free from chemo for another week, I am excited to have that week of freedom. I have a lot going on so I have to feel well to be able to do the fun things.

I hope you all have a great weekend. Enjoy the holiday hustle and bustle, it is officially here. Don't get so stressed out about gifts and forget what the holiday is about! This holiday is not about presents it is much more. It is a celebration and a time to relax and enjoy our family and friends! Please don't forget that! I think we have lost that and need to get that back! We need to say, forget the presents, lets be together and enjoy each other. Right!

Okay, I feel a bit preachy so I will end this post! I will email when I get the results from Houston. Take care everyone! Please keep up the prayers for all those who need them right now. we all can use them, can't we, I will pray for all of you! love, shawndra

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Shaundra,

Just wanted to let you know that I seen you on the Oprah show. It was during a very brief scan of the audiance. Did you see it?

Praying for you from Greendwood Mo.

H

Anonymous said...

You are so right about remembering what is really important at christmas (not the presents). Be thankful for family and friends. You are in my prayers Shawndra.
Wendy (Cali nurse)

Anonymous said...

I'm just a stranger passing through, but I wanted to say good luck and I'll pray for you.

Nancy

Naomi from Georgia said...

Here are the words to my favoritve hymn "You'll never walk alone"~~ feels fitting to send this to you right now! You are in my prayers Shawndra, thank you for being a friend , I pray your news is good!

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll Never Walk Alone,
You'll Never Walk Alone.

God Bless you Shawndra, we are praying hard for you sweetie!

Anonymous said...

Shawndra-

We want you to know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. We hope you get positive results so you are able to have surgery. Have a Wonderful Weekend!

The Mudge's

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
I'm currently going through a Bible study by Beth Moore called "Believing God".I'm also a nurse and so I think my first instinct is to "rely" more on what medicine says than God and what His word says.Through this study, I've been reminded how to really truely believe God.There was a part that talked alot about miracles and physical healings... healings that medicine had nothing to do with.I'm not even half through it and it has really been awesome!Sometimes you come to my mind when I'm doing the study and think "Oh, this would be so good for her!" I'm sure you have so many good books to read, but I'd encourage you to do this study if you can find it at your local christian bookstore.It has DVD's that also correlate with the weeks of the study. Beth Moore just has a way with words...she will really speak to your heart.
Thanks.
A fellow nurse in Indiana

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

As I've mentioned before, although we've never met, not a day goes by that I don't think of you, or pray for you. I will be praying extra hard this week that you get good news in Houston.

Thank you for helping me to be thankful this holiday season, for my health and my family's health. I am praying that this holiday season brings you the news you want, and that this round of chemo has helped to make you a candidate for surgery.

Stay strong, you have so many who love and support you.

Prayers to you, my friend.

Michelle

Kelley said...

I think that everyone has the same desire to figure out why? We can only keep up with what we are doing and have faith that the outcome will be as we wish. I will add the daughter of one of your "followers" to the prayer chain. I too have an adult daughter with some of the same symptoms, with a happy ending. And I will pray for the same with this other young girl. This illness spans an entire globe, all ages, races, social groups. We all know someone it has invaded. While we can speculate on it being something we are or are not doing, I think that it mostly is a random act. It is here, in our lives, and we can only continue to pray that answers will be found to cure this, as well as many other devestating illnesses. One of our friends has a daughter with CF. She is now 21, but her body is quickly giving way to her illness. They are a very strong family, however a few extra prayers couldn't hurt. I am happy to hear you were able to keep this round in check and are now on the ever coveted week off! We will keep you in our thoughts during your TX. visit. I do pray the outcome is one you desire. Enjoy your weekend, have a safe trip, and as always I look forward to hearing from you.

Anonymous said...

Always in my mind and prayers.
Hope you go on strong and get the results you so much wish for and deserve. I wish you the best.
Love,
Roswita

Our Family said...

Praying for a change in your cancer. You're so amazing. I can't wait to hear your news!

Leisa said...

Shawndra, thanks so much for mentioning me on your blog and for asking others to pray for me and my family. Prayer is such a powerful tool. I will let you know how the tests turn out for Lindsey that she has on Thursday. I will be thinking about you this week and praying that you get really good news in Houston. I know it's scary for you to not know what you will hear and to have to anticipate it until you get there. But one thing is for sure, you have a lot of prayers and love on your side and if anyone deserves good news, it's you. Enjoy your week off of chemo. And I'm with you on the holiday scenario. I love spending time with family and sharing special family time. And all the gifts are so much work and so much money (remember, I have 4 kids) that it does start to take away from it and you have to remind yourself not to let it. The holidays are still a bit tough since I lost my Mom (she was only 59) on Dec. 29th of 2005 and had to go through a very horrible holiday season as she was diagnosed with Leukemia on Dec. 3rd and the next 26 days throughout the holiday season were the most difficult of my life. But I know she would want me to keep the wonderful traditions that she and I had and I am doing my best to get past the sad thoughts and focus on that. And to tell the truth, that isn't easy. I ask myself the same question you do about why so many people are getting sick and what could possibly be the cause. I'm sorry that you have other family members to worry about as you go through the tough times you've had to endure. It must just seem so overwhelming at times. It's really hard to understand how every time you turn around, you hear a new story about someone whose been affected with disease. I know that diseases have always been around. But I know that I've been around for a while too and illnesses that used to be so distant seem to be happening so much closer to home and so much more often. All we can do is keep our faith and know that God will not fail us. I know that there is a better place where none of this exists and one day all of the lucky ones that end up there will no longer have to worry or fear the things that have entered or may enter our lives. We will never have to worry, fear, feel pain or be sad ever again. And what a beautiful place that will be. I can't even fathom the wonder of it. And I can't wait to see my dear Mom again one day. But I'm with you. I pray that I'm able to accomplish so much more here on this earth before I get there. And I pray with deep sincerity that you too are able to be cured and are able to be there for Doug and Ella for a long, long time. God is good. Keep the faith and just do what you're doing by leaving it in his hands. Take care and be safe traveling to Houston and back.

Julia said...

Hi Shawndra,

I found your blog by accident, but what a happy accident it was. Your beautiful spirit and optimism are a tremendous inspiration to me and, I'm sure, the rest of your readers.

Life can be so overwhelmng at times - thank goodness we don't have to face it all alone! You're blessed to have a loving and wonderful family in addition to a family of readers who keep you all in their thoughts and prayers. I hope that knowledge provides some comfort to you and that you can draw strength from the thought.

Thank you for sharing your story and for letting us be part of your journey. Your blog is what's best about the internet; you've touched so many people who would have otherwise never known you, and, in turn, (I hope), you can draw strength and positivity from those same people.

Happy holidays to you and your family, Shawndra. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

Please take good care of yourself and remember that our prayers and thoughts are with you always.

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you today, Shawndra.

I'm praying the doctors at MD have news you want to hear. Also praying the faithful readers of this blog will continue to have the grace to carry you through.

love you! Dawner

bahama mama said...

Thinking of you and hope all is going well...you are in my heart, as always.
Love, d

Naomi in Georgia said...

Thinking of you today Shawndra,I hope your results are good,there are many of us checking in daily for updates, just praying your news from Houston was good...
((Hugs)) and Prayers
Naomi

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

I have been thinking of you constantly since Sunday. As a colon cancer patient myself and a mother of young kids, I know how hard the trips are that you are now making. The time in between testing and results can be so difficult. I have said many prayers that you have excellent news and that your CEA level has gone down. Praying for good news for you and your family.

Anonymous said...

I am praying for you and your family.