Friday, August 31, 2007

CEA

I just found out my CEA level is up to 10.7. Yikes! That is not a good thing. I am a bit emotional today for a few reasons but that kind of just put the icing on the cake. One of the reasons is Doug and I are going to have a little of ourselves time this week which is great but I am going to miss Ella tremendously!!! I have already cried once today about it. Now that I know my CEA is rising, (possibly meaning the cancer is growing, not absolutely the case though) this scares me and upsets me. Just having a bit of an emotional day or atleast a few moments. I just wanted to let you all know what I found out. Shawndra

31 comments:

Anonymous said...

keep up the fight. you are in my thoughts and prayers. you have many years ahead..pma.. positve mental attitude is what my friends live by. enjoy your holiday and live life like there is no tomorrow. sarah

nancygrayce said...

Shawndra, I pray for you that you will truly know that He will never leave you or forsake you. He is in this battle with you so put on the whole armour and stand!

Anonymous said...

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday, but I will say an extra one for you tonight.

Nicole M.

Lisa said...

This isn't the news you wanted on your diagnostic anniversary but you have surpassed a year....and I know you will have many more years ahead. Enjoy the holiday weekend...maybe grab a treat at Santa Calagon days...or however it's spelled. You have an amazing support system...if there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask! I am close by :-)

Anonymous said...

One more person praying for you and your family.

Jen M.

Leisa said...

You have been in my prayers a lot. You are such an awesome person to share your life experiences with others. Know that we all care about you. You inspire everyone who reads your words to live life with an incredible appreciation of what it has to offer.

I am so aware of living every day of my life to the fullest knowing that I can not take my long term health for granted. And I'm not sick, but I had mentioned in another post that I lost my mother to Leukemia at 59 yrs. old just 26 days after diagnosis and one year after being diagnosed and later treated with breast cancer. Her life changed from the day of her first diagnosis on. I'm sure that if she had it to do over again, she would have done a lot of things differently if she could have imagined that diagnosis was possible. I have learned A LOT about how I want to live my life and how I want to show love to those in my life from this difficult experience. And by reading your blog, it reinforces the importance of what to consider when making daily decisions in life. And I'm not only speaking of doing things to fulfill my dreams and make myself happy. But being more aware of others needs and helping them in any way I can. And by being as charitable as I possibly can in hopes that it will help to improve others lives in some way. Or just to speak a kind word to someone who can use a boost. Experiencing a serious illness (and in my case a loss)makes one realize what's really important.

Enjoy your time with your hubby. You still have to feed that marriage. Although I do understand how you feel about being afraid to give up time with Ella because of the natural fears that come with the battle you are facing. But she will be ok. And you will be ok. So have fun and enjoy the great part of being married just as you do everything else. I know my hubby and I had date night tonight and it is so nice to be able to just sit and laugh and talk without our two younger children dominating all of our conversation and attention. Not that we don't love them dearly and cherish the time we spend with them. We do because we also have two older children (twins)who went off to college this year and we know that the time goes so fast that they are with you and you get to take them to dinner with you nearly every time you go. But we do still need the time together to keep the marriage strong so we can be good parents to them and realize how important this is as well. So go for it, do your best to set aside the feelings of anxiousness for leaving Ella and make the most of the time with Doug. I will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers. Take care of yourself and stay strong and POSITIVE.

Anonymous said...

Shawnda,

You enjoy your one on one with Doug and remember that Ella is in GREAT hands. I am sure you will miss her. Keep your head up high and remember that God will always be there no matter what!

jill r said...

Shawndra---thank you again for sharing with all of us. We are praying for you!

Laurie said...

prayers for you! enjoy your time with doug...they are priceless
hugs
laurie

Anonymous said...

Sending +++POSITIVE+++ thoughts your way. Keep your chin up. Jan V's friend

tera said...

I know those numbers are hard to hear and that they shouldn't even be as high as 10 but my mother's CEA count started at 125 (diagnosis) and went up to 800+. Just encouraging you to ask the dr exactly what that number means for you personally and DON'T LOOSE HOPE! Praying for you always.

Anonymous said...

I know your tumor marker rising concerns you, but maybe it will help you and your doctors to become more clear on the next step in your treatment. Congratulations on your one year mark, may there be MANY more to come. Stay positive!

Anonymous said...

MAKE IT THE BEST FEW DAYS EVER, JUST YOU AND YOUR LOVED HUSBAND.

KEEP UP YOUR FAITH.
WE ALL GO THROUGH STRUGGLES, UPS AND DOWNS, BUT I ALWAYS REALIZE THAT THE TIME MY FAITH IS THE HIGHEST, I'M FEELING MY BEST.

KIDS UNDERSTAND AND FEEL OK TO BE WITHOUT THEIR PARENTS MANY MANY TIMES, AND FOR SURE ELLA WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME. THEY ARE KIDS, THEY ARE IN THE BEST TIME OF THEIR LIVES, NOT CONSCIOUSLY AWARE OF TROUBLES WE HAVE, AND WE ALL ARE GIVEN TASKS, EVEN THE HARDEST ONES AS YOURS, THAT GOD KNOWS WE CAN HANDLE.

WE HAVE YOU ALL IN OUR PRAYERS, POSITIVE THINKING AND MINDS.
I REALIZED IT'S BEEN AN YEAR, I'VE BEEN HAVING YOU ALL IN MY PRAYERS.

SO, LET'S KEEP ON YOUR FIGHT.
YOU'RE MAKING IT.
HAVE A GOOD TIME.

LOVE,
THE SCHMIEDT'S

Kelley said...

Your heart was telling you to go for further chemo, while the KC Doc was questioning it...thus causing you to second guess I'm sure. So, now you have the elevated numbers, and the decision should be to follow your heart, just like you wanted! Funny how that works. While I know that you must be feeling very anxious with this new rise, I know you will be strong. Enjoy your time away with Doug, and try not to worry about Ella, I'm sure she is having a ball too! The weather is beautiful, it's a long weekend, and being the good "O'Reilly" that I am, I am planning on visiting the irish fest for a bit this weekend. So, set all the worries that we carry with us daily and enjoy a georgous few days. And always know you and your family are very loved. That's a great felling huh?

Anonymous said...

Shawndra
I am visiting my dad in Michigan this weekend, enjoying the less humid early fall weather here. But still have you on my mind and in my prayers. Following your journey by your blog has made me a stronger person and more appreciative of all I have and of God's love and care for all of us. Stay strong. Hope you can come by 2H soon for some hugs.
Dee Smith

Tim/Terri said...

Big hugs and kisses from Texas. We stand with you Shawndra in VICTORY through this battle. God is with you. We continue to pray for you, Doug and Ella. Certainly do miss you. Rest together this weekend...take advantage of the "adult time"...have fun, snuggle, spoon...enjoy the magic of being together.
We love you so much.
Tim/Terri/Kendall/Shelby

Anonymous said...

Another mommy praying for you! You are so strong...don't let circumstances (your CEA #) get you down! Have faith in Him....He won't let you down and He has the plan! You have done such a wonderful job as a mommy (and I'm sure as a wife, nurse, daughter, friend etc. etc.) and He will continue to provide. Draw your strength from Him and those around you who love you very much. It is obvious you are blessed! May you have many, many more years of happiness and laugh about this emotional turmoil years from now.
God bless,
Christine

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

Lots of prayers for you and your family with your recent news. Keep the faith and stay positive. I hope that you & Doug enjoy some alone time this weekend. I am sure that Ella is being well cared for. Enjoy this beautiful weather we are having.

Jennifer Teegarden MD

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra

Hope you and Doug enjoyed your "You" time this weekend and that the weather was good to you. If the power of love can help you beat this, then you will win hands down with all the love that is coming your way worldwide. Sending love and prayers across the Atlantic from Wales, UK Dawn x

Anonymous said...

Shawndra, You are so strong and this could be a small set back on your road to recovery. Don't let it get you down, because your faith and all the love and prayers coming your way will help pull you through this. Keep that sweet spirit of yours thinking positive and know that my family is here and praying diligently for you. Love, Melodie Chrisman

Amy said...

Shawndra,
I continue to pray for you daily and I'll say an extra prayer that your CEA level goes down. Thank you for reminding us all to live life to the fullest!
Thinking of you,
Amy

Michele said...

Shawndra,
Keep fighting. You have so many people rooting for you. I imagine myself in a boxing match with this disease. Knock 'em out!
From your fellow colon cancer fighter, Michele

Sun said...

I will pray! I love what Nancygrayce said - second comment listed - praise God He is here and will never leave you or forsake you! Sunshine

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra,
Just wanted to let you know that Jim and I read your blog every day and are praying for you as are so many people!
Love you, Marilyn & Jim

Anonymous said...

I continue to pray for you Shawndra, and KNOW you are going to WIN this FIGHT!!!! Keep up your positive attitude and nkow that there are many of us praying for you!!!!
Jess in Nebraska

Our Family said...

Hoping all is well. You're in my prayers daily. God bless.
-Astraea

Lindsay said...

Shawndra-I continue to pray for you and your family daily. Keep that positive attitude! Lindsay Sizemore

Anonymous said...

HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH U AND YOURS SHAWNDRA. I CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR U ALL EVERYDAY..GOD IS GOOD...JUST KEEP THE FAITH WITH CHRISTIAN FRIENDSHIP, JEN MILLER KC,MO

Anonymous said...

My prayers are with you.

Anonymous said...

Praying for you everyday Shawndra.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
I think about you every day! You are in my prayers and I know you will get through this. I hope I get to see you soon. I am trying to plan a trip to KC in the next couple of months. I am eager to see and talk to you. For now I will settle for email! Missing you and am thinking of you.
Love, Hillary