Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Soooo tired

Hello everyone- Now that I am feeling better I can write more. I don't know what my problem was yesterday but I was extremely exhausted and just could not function. Thankfully my mother came to help me out with Ella, thank you mom!!! Even last night I couldn't do anything. Doug gave Ella a bubble bath, he does the bubble bathes with Ella in our big jacuzzi tub since I really can't take baths because of my ostomy. Ella loves those baths! She has so much fun. She definitely needed a bath too! Anyway, she is doing well without binky. She still wines for binky from time to time. She did sleep all through the night last night though. She wouldn't go down for her nap yesterday though, so she was extremely tired last night. The last few nights, I have rocked her to sleep and she does pretty well. She did wake up the first night though in the night and cried for binky. Again, I just rocked her and she went back to sleep. So it is going okay. She went back to daycare today, I am not sure how that will go. One of her friends there still uses the binky all the time. But her cousins, Keaton and Avery, don't use a binky. So we tried to rationalize it and tell her, well they don't have a binky. So, hopefully in a few days she will have forgotten about the binky for good! It is hard when she cries out "binky, binky, binky". It breaks my heart that I am not giving it to her but I have to have tough love and think that this is benefitting her in the long run.
I just got back from my weekly blood draw. The rest of the week is fairly low key. Nothing much going on. I have been laying low this past week, just because of the fatigue. I am feeling a bit more rested today so hopefully I can get back out there and be more productive and keep on livin'. I think the weather is taking a toll on everyone too, don't you think. By this time, we are all tired of the cold, being stuck inside and are wanting spring to hurry up and get here so we can get outside again! I miss seeing all the neighbors out and about. I need to start exercising more too in order to gain strength for surgery. It is hard to get motivated when I am cold all the time! Anyway, I am going to rest some today and get a few things done around the house. I am actually going to cook dinner for Doug tonight! Yaaa!
I feel like such a horrible wife, I don't really cook. Especially after all the neighbors and friends have brought over these great meals. I realized I really can't cook. I wish I could whip up these wonderful dinners everyone else makes. Ugh! I just don't enjoy it. I need to head back to dream dinners and make some meals. That is an ingenius place! I love it and Doug loves it. I feel like I can cook, hehe, and he thinks I can cook, hehe.
Have a great week everyone! talk to you soon.


Andrea said...

Hey sis!
First of all, good job with Ella. It may be tough, but it's just one stepping stone amongst many! You are so strong and she can see this. Second of all, I'd love to come and workout with you anytime - I could benenfit as well, but it would be fun to hang out a little more and get some benefit at the same time. Also, even though I don't have a lot of time to cook, I do like it. So, if you set up a time to go to Dream Dinners, I'd love to be your "helper"! Hee Hee!! (If you know what I mean.) Anyway, glad you have more energy today and feeling better. Productivity does not have to be large to be worthwhile, don't forget. Being a mom is HUGE enough, plus being a wife. Love you and hope to see you soon!
PS- Thanks to your neighbors for taking over meals for you, they're AWESOME!!

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for you and for the surgery March 6th. I pray that when the surgeons look in your abdomen, that they will see NO cancer! I will be praying for a miracle!

Anonymous said...

I say, why cook if you can get by not cooking!
Graciously continue to accept the meals your friends make for you. Besides saying their prayers for you and helping with Ella, making meals is something most friends feel they can do for you. Besides it allows you more opportunity to spend precious time with Ella and Doug.

Kelley said...

The cold is getting old! I can't wait for spring so we can all get outside, it does make you feel so much better. I think that it is very premature wishing, but what else can ya do? I was just discussing with one of my kids how wonderful it would be to be able to go to the grocery store, select whatever you want, then have someone else cook it for you. I think they DO have those folks, just not at my house. Kinda like the gal that cleans for me.....she doesn't exist either! But so far no one has starved or gotten lost in the clutter, so life is good. Stay warm and cozy, both in body and soul. Get the rest you need in preparation for surgery. Spring will be here before we know it, and blast us with the sun and fresh air we all are lacking stuck inside! Peace & Love.

Anonymous said...


I want to say I really enjoyed talking with you today. You are truly amazing person. Please know I am here for you! Ella you will need to help Mason say bye-bye to his Binky! Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! Keep Believing!!!

The Mudge's

bahama mama said...

You are a great mom, wife, daughter and friend - don't ever forget or doubt that for a second!
I am happy to hear you had more energy yesterday and that Ella slept through the night Monday.
I'm sorry I have to leave town, therefore won't be able to see you any earlier than possibly Sunday...so, until we meet again, have a wonderful week!
Love you, d

Michele said...

Just enjoy all the meals that are brought over...I know my family would have starved without all those meals we've gotten. I personally have lost all interest in food, this has been hard for me, since food was always a social thing with me. I never skipped a meal until I got cancer. Now I don't care if I ever eat. So it's hard to cook when you don't want to eat!

Anonymous said...

hello I just wanted to comment on the binky thing, from one mom to another! my son loved his Binky (he is 5 now) however when he was 2 the dentist suggested I just cut it. We told him it was his new big boy Binky and that he could have that one. That way he could still sleep with it. He would hold it between his teeth, it was so funny!! However if you cut it low they can't hold it for long! We actually just found it the other day in some things my husband kept. He remembered it but never remembered how it originally was. So if it gets hard on her however it sounds like it is going to be fine, you can just cut it! ON a more serious not, I just wanted you to know that I pray for you daily and check your blog. You are not alone. Blessings to you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra,
Good for you for all you do and for just being you!
At church this week, the pastor preached on prayer and I loved this verse and hope it encourages you:
James 5:13-16
"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray.
Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.
Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up....the prayer of the righteous is powerful and effective."
When I read each week how many people near and far are praying for you....God must love you so much and have the cure for you!
Marilyn H

Anonymous said...

Hi Shawndra! Glad to hear you are doing better. Glad the surgery plans are coming along! It will all turn out just great! I just know it!!!!!

Please say a few prayers for my nephew and God son, Carson. He is 5 months old and has been sick for quite some time and we are just not sure what is going on. He is at the hospital now being checked out...hopefully it turns out to be nothing major! But I appreciate any prayers that can be said for my little C-man. Thanks!


Naomi said...

I am praying for your miracle Shawndra! You have become a big part of our lives and a friend to so many of us now- feels like you are family as we all check on you for updates...I pray this surgury will turn out with wonderful results...miracles happen and God is listening.
We all love you and admire your courage!

Valerie (Naomi's friend) said...

I've seen the miracle prayer can work in situations like these. I had a teacher in highschool who had a terminal cancer and litearlly through the power of prayer was cured and is cancer free - still. I've had 3 uncles with cancer and all are alive and cancer free and we swear its because of prayer and positive thinking. I will be sure to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Hi Aamerican Daughter

I Just talked to your mom yesterday, and we had a good chat.
I understood, as you actually mention in today's blog, that after having skyid ( must be spelled wrong; no problem to make mistakes, I forgive myself, I forgive the world, and I set me free!!!)your reaction to the last treatment was much better.
So? My child?
I've been praying and following all your great efforts and accomplishments.
Please, get yourself a stepper at Walmart, as I did, and I haven't done much on it either lately, but today, I'll get it out, and as I'll exercise on it, I'll be thinking and praying you got yourself into some kind of exercise you enjoy, since it proofed to have great results.
Take good care of yourself, and keep your self esteem high, as you know you can!!
It's not the cooking, cleaning , or.... it's the character that counts on any one to be a fantastic person as you are!!

Anonymous said...

I will be praying for you and your surgery. If you ever need help with Ella just let me know. I know I have told you before but I really would be delighted. She can play with Jett. He would love that!

Leisa said...

Hi Shawndra! I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I hope you're feeling good and that you have more engergy to enjoy this nice weather. Isn't is great to have this break from the cold?

It is so nice that you have had so much help with meals from those around you. It's such a blessing for you to have one less thing to zap your energy right now. I can say from experience that when it comes to cooking for someone else in need, I enjoy it so much more than for just cooking a normal dinner at home. I'll tell you what, I'm sure no chef, but recipes are a God send for me. And the food network gets me motivated to want to try new stuff even though I don't like cooking a lot during the week because work makes me tired. But we eat out on weekends. So if I want to try new recipes, it has to be during the week or on Sunday's. I'm lucky that hubby enjoys cooking too and that helps. As a matter of fact, as I'm typing, he's in the kitchen getting the meats cooked for a Pepperoni Lasagne recipe he got from the show "Guy's Big Bite" on the food network. We both like Guy. He also does "Diner's, Drive-In's and Dives". He featured a place in downtown KC a week or so ago called "Grinders" on this show and it looks like they have some awesome New York Style Pizza there as the owner is from the east coast. Since hubby is from New Jersey, he really wants to try it. And so do I as the pizza on the east coast is the best imho!

I hope Ella is doing well without binky by now. It's been several days since you've posted. So I hope she's over the hump now and getting more used to it.

Have a good week this upcoming week. I'll be thinking of you and praying for you. Be sure you continue to let those that care for you help you out in any way possible right now. Save your energy to build up your strengh for surgery. It's just over 6 weeks away now and will be here before you know it. Stay strong and keep that awesome positive attitude that you have. I honestly believe that this has been and will continue to pay off for you. You have just done so amazing with it all and in my heart of hearts, I know you will continue to do well. Take care of yourself and look to the lord for your support as well. Pray, pray and pray some more. It's a very powerful, rewarding thing. God bless you, as always! Until next time...Leisa