Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Another Scan

Hello everyone- I hope you all had a great Memorial weekend. We had a very busy weekend, mostly with family. We celebrated my nieces 1st birthday and spent a day and night at my parents lakehouse. It was a bit overcast and rainy but it was nice to just kind of veg out at the house. I don't have much to report, I am a bit tired from the busy weekend and a busy day today. I wanted to let you all know I have a PET/CT scan tomorrow morning at 9:45. I have to drink that nasty stuff again, it makes me nauseous just thinking about it. They have to start an IV on me, they can't use my port. They inject me with some stuff and then I have to drink the barium type stuff. I sit in a recliner in the dark for an hour and then they do the scans which take probably about 30 minutes total. I don't know that I will get the results for a few days, possibly not until next Monday when I have my next round of chemo and I meet with my oncologist.

Please pray for good results with this scan, I pray that the cancer in my omentum is decreasing, that there is no cancer anywhere else and that the chemo is doing its job and working well. Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers, I need them! I am nervous going into this as always. I want good results. I would love for them to say, oh my, it is gone you can stop chemo and have surgery to take down my ostomy. I don't expect that to happen but gosh it would be a dream come true! Anyway, I will plan for baby steps toward those words! I better go, daddy just called me to come outside to see something with Ella. Better go check it out. I hope you all are doing well. I will try to write very soon. I hope things calm down a bit this week. shawndra

PS. I was just reading up on my diagnosis and possible treatment options. I did this initially when I was diagnosed with colorectal cancer but hadn't really done much research since my surgery. I was reading a book recently that talked about needing to keep up on your diagnosis and treatments. That makes sense, I need to be educated, right. Bad idea! The prognosis for what I have is so poor and the alternative treatment options are supposedly not available for me. I am crying because I am scared. I don't let myself think about it often, but I guess I need to be realistic! I am not scared for myself, but for my family... my husband and my daughter, my poor daughter. I have to keep believing that I can beat this, but with such poor statistics it is hard to be optimistic. I just have to keep praying for a miracle. Please help me pray for that miracle. I want to be just like my grandmother some day... 94 and still at home, taking care of herself and with such spunk. I know God is the only one who can perform this miracle. I can only pray.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear God,
Please watch over Shawndra and heal her. I pray for her scans to be clear and for You to show us Your miracle through her.
In Your name I pray,
Amen

Leisa said...

Shawndra, you don't know me. But I feel I know you from your blog that I've followed for a couple of months now. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time. May God's hands guide your pet scan tomorrow and let the results be positive. You're an amazing woman. You and your family deserve good news. I pray that God heals your body and takes you in his loving arms to ease your fears as you go through this process. Keep the faith. Never lose hope as it's a very powerful thing. Stay positive. It's very important. But I know you already know that. May God be with you tomorrow and always!

Jan Velander said...

Dearest Shawndra,
As always, my prayers are constantly with you. Sometimes too much information is a dangerous thing. I know your fears, I know your worries, I know your pain. Trust in your doctors, trust in your faith and most importantly trust in yourself and God. You are a survivor. He will guide you through your scan tomorrow and be holding your hand the entire time. My Jen will be there too. Keep on fighting and keep the faith and your positive attitude. Everyone around you will be "stepping up" their prayers and God will hear them. I believe that with all my heart.
You, dear Shawndra, are in my heart.
With much love and many prayers,
Jan

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
I pray that God will give you a peace that passes all understanding. I love these words to a Newsboys song: "When hope is lost, I'll call you Saviour. When pain surrounds, I'll call you Healer, when silence falls, You'll be the Song within my heart. I will praise you. I will praise You. When the tears fall, still I will sing to You. I will praise you.Jesus, praise you. Through the suffering, still I will sing..."

I pray that the Lord will give you the desires of your heart. Northern Indiana is praying for you!

Anonymous said...

Shawndra-

Our thoughts and prayers all with you and your family!

Lisa Mudge

Jean said...

Shawndra - Stay off the internet! It is full of doom and gloom. My friend was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 7 years ago (bone marrow transplant 6 years ago) according to the internet she should have a tall tree growing on her grave, but I will see her at work in an hour. Why? A loving God, an incredible medical staff, lots o0f prayers, and her positive attitude. Praying that the tests go well.

Lord Jesus, calm Shawndra and fill her with your amazing healing grace. Help her to entrust Doug and Ella to you and even her own life. Fill her with Your hope until hers returns.

Anonymous said...

You are so strong,and as with any illness you can also get worn down. ALWAYS remember that along with you and your prayers comes a whole army of family, friends and people you have yet to meet that are also keeping you in thier prayers. Be educated, but focus on the positive. We are positive you are here today, we are positive you are a wonderful daughter sister wife mother granddaughter niece friend..the list is endless! You are an inspiration. K

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I know it is difficult sometimes, but please try and stay positive. You have a wonderful support community and we are all praying and rooting for you!!

Anonymous said...

Shwndra,

You are such an amazing person! This is no easy journey but please remember how much you are loved by your friends and family and those who you have touch that you do not even know you. Trust in the Lord! So many people are praying for you. I know that your miracle is coming. I think you said it yourself once that you were one in a million with your diagnosis so you can be one in a million with a cure! We love you, keep your chin up!

Anonymous said...

Shawndra
It was so great to see you yesterday at CMH. Ella is more beautiful that in her pictures, if that is possible, as are you. You are on my prayer list, so all of Gloria Dei Lutheran Churh is praying for you. I will ask God to watch over you now and forever. Thanks for the great hug yesterday.
Dee Smith

Karen said...

Shawndra, I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma when I was 30 years old and my daughter was only 6 months old. At the time, I also read a ton of scary statistics on the Internet. Then my doctor at the Mayo Clinic reminded me that statistics are just numbers based on studies of certain groups of people and statistics can not say how I, as an individual, will do. Remember that you are not a number! I just saw my daughter turn two, and I'm doing well, and I plan to be around for a long time. I know that you will do well, too! Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

shawndra--hang in there, sister. and as for that miracle you've asked for... they do happen. so keep up that famous shawndra-positive-attitude, and know how many people you have pulling for you, and praying for you, all over the place. and i agree with the comment that said "stay off the internet"... almost anything can be proven or debunked in that mass of information. or misinformation. just stay strong, like you are, and you never know what might come your way. god bless and my prayers are with you.

stassen

Anonymous said...

Everyday I say a prayer for Jennifer Ireland's family. I pray for their continued strength and faith in God. I then say a prayer for you and your family. I pray that you beat this thing and that you also continue to have strength and faith in God. Know that we are all out here supporting you.

Kristi said...

We are all here for you and praying for you. Try and keep your chin up and keep smiling. I hope you are doing ok today.
Kristi :)

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

You have such strength and the thoughts and prayers of so many people. Lance Armstrong had small odds, miracles do happen. We love you,

Mark

Anonymous said...

Hey girl,
I am so sorry I missed you the other day at work. Everyone was really excited to see you!! They said Ella was adorable...as usual :) Anyway, try not to get down. I so admire your awesome outlook on life and try to do the same with mine..live each day to the fullest! And remember, do not underestimate the power of positive thinking. Look at how great you have done so far. I think about and pray for you daily!
I am so ready to spend the day with you at the lake this summer..I need a margarita and a day in the sun!!!
Love ya, Michelle

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,
Please stay strong for yourself and for your family and always remember that God is in the miracle business! I will pray for you and for your healing to begin....just trust in God.

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

I think Jan's words said it best. They brought tears to my eyes. Trust in the lord. I'll be praying.

Dawn said...

Shawndra,

I have also been checking in on you since I heard about you from Chris Ireland. Keep your head up and do not let anything take away your positive attitude. You are a strong women and have a wonderful support group and a community from far and wide that is cheering you on! Good luck with the scan's, I hope you have a surprise like no other! LOL

Amie said...

Shawndra,
We sure miss your smiling face at work. We will need to get the girls together soon. Hang in there, and keep us posted on results of PET scan.

Love, AMie

Anonymous said...

No website, book, nor statistic can define you and your destiny and there is no person with the authority of prognosis other than God. He is with you as are all of your family, friends, and supporters. There is nothing wrong with fear...just turn to your loving husband and beautiful daughter and they'll help pull you out of the deepest of ruts.

Chris Ireland

Anonymous said...

Shawndra-
We had such a fun time visiting you and Ella today (and meeting Doug!) It would be nice to have a one on one visit too! Sorry Aidan was such a maniac. He slept the following 2 hrs!

I have been praying for a miracle since before your surgery and I will keep praying! You are an amazing woman. I'm sorry you had tough week and pray your news of "negative" is truly that. Keep your positive attitude and keep smiling. You are beautiful inside and out.

May God bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you.
Love Adriane

Anonymous said...

Shawndra,

You & your family are in my thoughts & prayers. I pray that your test results bring good news for you. You seem like such an amazing strong woman. Keep your chin up and keep fighting the fight. Hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend and enjoy this beautiful weather.
Jennifer Teegarden MD

sue said...

Shawndra most information on the internet for prognosis's as far as I know are like 5 years old! They have come sooo far with the new treatments. One being what your on. Please hold on and don't waste your energy reading these. Talk with your Dr., talk online to people that also have this...I am praying for you. Sue