Wow, we must be special to get a whole week, ha. My mother just reminded me that it was nurses week by bringing over flowers and a card to me. It couldn't have come at on a more perfect day. I have been .... what's the word... struggling lately with my new identity as a stay at home mom. Let me start off by saying this is one of the toughest jobs there is and it is highly respected! I don't mean to offend anyone out there this is just my personal story. I went to school for sooo many years to become a nurse practitioner, worked so hard and prided myself on being a working woman. After I had Ella, I had the best of both worlds! I could work part time and be home with Ella. It was the perfect mixture of work and being a mom and a wife. Since I was diagnosed, I tried to continue to work but with the unknown I decided I couldn't give my full commitment to my job and quit working. There are some perks to this too! I get to spend more time with Ella, I don't have to get up every morning at 6-6:30 shower and get dressed up, etc. But I feel like I have lost that part of me and I am no longer Shawndra the nurse or nurse practitioner, which was a large part of who I was. This along with the many changes that have taken place in the last two years. It really has struck me hard as I repeat the same tasks over and over. These past few days I have gotten so sick of the laundry basket half full the day after I just did laundry or the dishwasher full again and the dishes piling up beside the sink waiting for the dishwasher to be unloaded just to be reloaded again. This reminds me of a movie I saw with Cher in it many years ago... Witches of Eastwick, that was it! Does anyone remember that movie? Anyway, I know the grass is greener on the other side and I can't complain about my life. I do have a great life and am lucky that I am able to take this time off of work. THere are many people out there fighting cancer and working and many other things. I feel like a wuss when I think about that but I am just telling you how I feel. That is the point of this blog, to get things off my chest, good and bad. Freedom of speech, right, ahhh. It all makes mothers day even more special and meaningful. I used to think, this is just another day for hallmark to rack in the bucks. But mothers really need a day to be noticed and applauded. Just as nurses do as well. So does every profession. sorry Andrea, Physical therapist's don't have there day yet. We will come up with one!!!!
Thank you Nurses for all you do. You are truly important and vital. We deserve so much more than we get in pay, we should be up there with athletes, for who is more important, someone saving lives or throwing a ball. Don't get me started on that one! If you know a nurse let them know how much the mean! That is what makes our job worth while. The reward of our patients and families who need us in a time of difficulty and can trust us to be there for them. What a great profession I chose, someday I will be back to help others again. Right now I have to focus on myself and nursing myself back to health so I can take care of others! Another reason to fight! Happy Nurses day! Shawndra
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16 comments:
Shawndra - I know exactly how you feel in regards to the Stay at Home Mom feelings. I for as long as I could remember wanted to be a stay at home mom but financially couldn't afford too. I have worked in the IT field for over 10 years. When we were blessed enough to have me stay at home with our second child, I found myself almost more anxiety ridden and depressed than when I worked. I think that was because I lost track of myself and became consumed in motherhood. Don't feel bad about your feelings. It is perfectly normal and luckily I found a job that allows me to work at home and still get to be with my kids. Then I have found that I wished I hadn't taken the job. Good Grief, see what I mean? Always questioning and wondering. I need to be thankful what God has given me and try not to stress but that is hard especially when I have a high maintenance 2 year old daughter.
Happy Nurses week, take care of yourself and get your self well and healed and you will be back taking care of others in no time.
God Bless you,
Kristen from Independence
Hi Shawndra,
Happy Nurses Week to you! My mom is a nurse, so I know very well the type of dedication, knowledge, caring and will that it takes to do the job. It's not an easy one, and I agree that the pay is not what it should be either. You're still a nurse and always will be, regardless of whether you are at home or not!
As a stay home mom to 3 kids, I can relate there, too. I had/have many of the same feelings...I think it's very normal to feel those things. It will all work out, I think, it's just so hard when you are going through it on top of everything else.
I hope you have a good week, my friend. I'll be thinking of you as always! :)
Michelle
Happy National Nurses Day! How nice that your mom even knew or remembered. Trust me...NO ONE in my family has ever known or remembered...and I've been a nurse for 15 years. You will always be a nurse. It's in our blood. Whether you are practicing in a hospital etc or not...you use it. It might be when Ella is sick...or when you are at Target or something...it kicks in like a bolt of lightening :-) It's what we are meant to do. Enjoy your time at home. Being a mom is your current calling/job...and trust me, doing your own laundry is much more fun than being yelled at by docs! lol
Have a great week!!
It is a difficult job....but very rewarding. I suppose it is like any other job, you love it some days and wonder what the heck you were thinking on others. Try not to think of it as a loss of part of who you are, but as an opportunity. There are milestones you will ba a part of, as opposed to hearing about with Ella. Those are the things you can't go back and do again. You can always return to a career.
What a great week to be celebrating nurses. Our 3rd daughter just found out she has been accepted into the nursing program! She is so happy, and we are so proud.
Hang in there. When the laundry and dishes seem never ending, go to the park, play, whatever. No one says it all must be done at all times. Ella won't look back and say "gee, our laundry was always done". She'll say "remember how we used to go to that park or the zoo or read that book over and over"
Shawndra-
Happy Nurses Day! Being a stay at home Mom is the hardest job and the most rewarding job. Enjoy all the milestones of Little Ella. Just remember you are a wonderful Mom! Thoughts and prayers are with you all! Keep Believing!!!
The Mudge's
Shawndra did you get your test recults back yet? Sue
Hi Shawndra,
Happy Nurses Week to you! You are still a nurse practitioner, my dear, and you have the flowers to prove it :)
I think it's natural to feel overwhelmed by the never-ending duties of a domestic goddess. It seems like the dishes and laundry multiply overnight, doesn't it?
For what it's worth, we all think you're doing a fantastic job of dealing with all you've got on your plate. And you generally do it with a smile on your face.
Thanks for putting a smile on my face. Happy nurses day :)
jg
Happy Nurse's Week! I'm sure I've said this to you before, but you will always be a nurse - no matter where you are or how you spend your days. I know I've continued to ask you medical questions! ;)
I hope you had a great time at the lake and that we can chat again soon.
Take care and an early happy mother's day!
love, d
Sharky-
So sorry, I forgot to tell you Happy Nurse's Day/Week this evening. Happy day!!
I know a great nurse who is so kind and caring, who gives advise when needed, who is strong and independent, yet can be gentle too.... Oh wait, that's YOU!!! Not to mention you are a mother, daughter, sister, cousin, and a dear friend. Remember that even stay-at-home moms are heros and can make huge impacts. They are shaping their children's lives to better our and their and the country's future.
So, embrace motherhood and do the best JOB you can. B/c that's what it is - a job that you use every piece of knowledge ever gained to do the best you can. And you do a great job with Ella! I know your frustrations, but also I know your JOYS! Hang in there sissy! Cherish the small moments!
Love you and Love that nurse too!
Andrea
Shawndra: I felt the same way when I retired from 25 years of teaching. Thanks for putting those feelings into words.
Hope you are continuing to feel good.
Love, Marny
Shawndra,
I came upon your blog a while ago after helping with your care while you were a patient at Creighton. I was truly amazed by your positive spirit and your truly amazing and beautiful family. You have such a great support system. I can honestly say that I treat each day as "more" of a blessing after reading what you've gone through and continue to go through. I'm sure that is not the intention of your blog but that is partially what I have taken away from it. I pray for you and wish you a full recovery.
On a another note, I can relate to your latest blog in that much of who I am, is wrapped up in my job, that of nursing. I am pretty new to nursing, graduated less than 6 months ago, so I am even more wrapped up in it, learning all that I can. I have 2 young girls and a husband and know that I have my priorities screwed up.(As I email, I have my 4-year in front of the TV watching cartoons.) She is happy though watching Caliou.
Ella will get easier as she gets older. Eventually, you will have a hard time getting her out of bed. Every age has it struggles, good parts though too. From what I've read and witnessed, you and Doug are great parents, and Ella will definitely benefit in the end. Take care and you and your family are in my prayers.
Hope you have a great day!
Jenny in Omaha
Hi, there Sweet Girl, Shawndra.
Happy Nurse's Day belated. I did thank a nurse yesterday. I had a luncheon for the RN at my school. This week is teacher appreciation week. Well, it has been a buffet of food on a daily basis. Our parents "shower" us w/generosity and kindness. I chose this profession for the same reasons you chose yours. Remember that all of your jobs no matter what, wife, mother,nurse, daugher,sister...are God's plan for you. You are a dimond which sparkles and radiates love and care to all. Motherhood is the hardest job you will ever have and it is forever. What makes it more difficult is that chidren don't come w/ directions. Ella is blessed to have you as her mother. She is loved, cared for and nurtured by her parents. She is one of the fortunate children in this world.
With love and admiration, Mom2
Happy Nurses Week! You are so completely right that nurses are so important and do so much for us. It is very nice that they recognize them. I will help you with the Physical Therapy Day. My mom is one and so is one of my really good friends.
Being a stay at home mom is the best job ever, but an extremely
tough one. I absolutely
love it and I feel very blessed that I am able to stay home with my two kids. You do have to ignore the laundry, dishes, etc. every once in awhile because the real reason you are home is to spend time with Ella, not be a full-time housekeeper. It is nice to get all that stuff done, but really it is completely okay to leave it all there and play, relax, nap or whatever. I find that at least once a week while Rachel is at school and Jake is asleep, I sit and do nothing, I take me time, even when I have a million things to do. I also try to plan things to do with other stay at home moms or at least call them when I need an adult to converse with.
Take good care of yourself.
Susan
Physical therapy gets the whole month of October!
Well Shawndra- I still think of you as one of my nurse practitioners- you will always be. And you bring up a very close to the heart topic on being a full time mother. I had the children by myself for 5 days last week and by the end of the weekend, I was ready to enter psychotherapy. I asked Sherry how she does it and she said "I sleep well at night when I go home". So I completely feel while it is the most important job- I would not do a very good job if I were home full time. I pray for patience and a gentle spirit with the children- When Aidan hurts True or when he hits, bites, pulls my hair etc- it is very hard to keep cool, calm and collected lets say.... So, my hat is off to you. You are doing the harder thing in my eyes, to stay at home full time is harder than going to work. Take care of yourself, and give Ella and Doug a hug for us. We would love to get together soon. A very Happy Mother's Day to you and your Mom and Grandma. Love you- Adriane
Happy Mothers Day, Shawndra!
Thinking of you and hoping you have a great day today.
jg
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