You all have brought tears to my eyes. I just sat down and started reading all of your responses. I am so blessed to have you all with me through this. You all tell me how much I inspire, but you all inspire me. Ella and my family is my ultimate inspiration and motivation to live and fight. But through this blog, I have found countless other inspirations and motivations, each of you! So, I thank you and I thank God for each of you.
I have to tell you, I am almost glad that I have Cancer. I have realized so much in my life and put things into perspective. I have learned that so many people are incredible. I wouldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams that so many people would check on me daily and want to read what I have to say. Just a year and a half ago on my 30th birthday, I was thinking I had a great life but I had no friends. I have realized that that is so far from the truth. I have realized who my good friends are and have gained so many more friends in the process. I believe God brought this into my life for a reason. I still wish I didn't have Cancer, but now that I do, I have found the positive aspects that it has brought to my life.
This week has been a wonderful week. I think it was Tuesday ( I lose track of my days sometimes), I had an appointment with Cancer Rehab to address the swelling issue I have had in my lower abdomen. The Occupational Therapist I met with was absolutely wonderful and I found out that she can help me in so many other ways. I have been very very stiff, especially when I get up in the morning. She said we can work on that. She will actually help me get started doing some exercises again and possible get to start Yoga, which I have been meaning to do on my own, just haven't done it yet. So, I was very pleased with this meeting, and I will see her several times in the next couple months to help me with some of this problems.
My bloodwork came back okay, except my protime is a little higher than we want it to be meaning my blood is a little too thin. I have had more bleeding because of this, especially nosebleeds. But I am working to get it back in range through my medication, Coumadin.
I thought I would tell a funny story from my meeting with the Occupational Therapist. Some of my family might be a bit embarassed by this but I think it is very funny and since we are all such good friends, I feel like it is okay. hehe. I was in the room, I had undressed with just my gown on and my bra. After she was done with the education part, she had me lie down to do the massage part to help with the swelling in my lower abdomen. As I was lying there ( no underwear) she said, "You are a redhead", oh my gosh. I couldn't believe she said that. In my eyes, it was funny and maybe she didn't mean to say that at just that moment, but I was a bit shocked and what do you say to that. I just said, a huh. Oh, it was funny. I haven't even told Doug that yet, I have been meaning to I just haven't gotten around to it.
Anyway, this is getting very long. I want to thank all of you for writing Oprah. Terra, your message was incredible. Thank you for sharing what you wrote. Again, thank you all for being in my life and following my blog.
Oh, last night we finalized our plots at the cemetary. It was actually kind of fun and exciting to have it picked out and to know where I will be some day for eternity. I encourage you all to look into this, it really is a great thing to do, for yourself and to relieve the burden on your family!
I feel like I am forgetting to tell you something and I know I have more to tell, in time.
Oh, one last thing. I just got out of the shower a little bit ago and was looking in the mirror. I realized the way I am living my life, I don't feel sick. Come next week, I will probably have a different feeling after chemo. But right now, these past few days and today, I feel like I am living life as a healthy human being. Nothing is wrong with my health. What a great feeling that is! I am going to hang on to that feeling as long as possible! If I believe it to be true, it can become reality. Thank you for listening to this lengthy message. Talk to you all soon. Shawndra
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21 comments:
Shawndra, You are not only inspiring people to live better lives, you are SAVING lives. Can you even believe it? You are saving lives. How many times have you heard that young women have decided to get their colonoscopies (or other tests) a few decades early because of you? Me included. (Sure enough a huge polyp was found at 31, but not cancerous.) And now all of us who have heard your voice are spreading the word to our friends, all because of you. You are saving lives, girl! Keep on living just the way you are, to the fullest every day. You are amazing!!! And I told Oprah! :)
Caryn
You're so funny, thanks for sharing the whole therapist, red head thing.....those ARE the things you share with friends and you have BUNCHES of them! Glad you're felling good and if you keep thinking your healthy and normal maybe it will happen, like what the book "The Secret" says...something about your thoughts bring on the reality of your life...like negative begets negative and POSITIVE begets POSITIVE! I'll be sending lots of positive thoughts your way and lots of prayers as usual! Your friend Deb. Isn't funny how you can feel like you're a friend to someone you've never physically met? Take care!
Shawndra,
I came across another blog that mentioned the book "Another Morning" by Linda Blachman. It is about mothers with cancer who also have young children to raise. I want to read this book but Border's on 119th and Metcalf doesn't have it in stock. I would've loved to have had this book 9 years ago when my kid were 9, 11, 13, and 15 years old. I thought of you while reading your blog today and wanted to share it with you. Here is the link to the book on Amazon.
http://www.amazon.com/Another-Morning-Voices-Mothers-Cancer/dp/1580051782/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8631642-8326231?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1193341572&sr=8-1
Hugs
Laurie in OP
What a great funny story today! Thanks for sharing...it made me smile and I needed one at this point in my day. I also wanted to let you know I sent an email to Oprah!
Dear Oprah,
There is a young woman living here in Kansas that is one of the most inspirational people and I have NEVER met her. Her name is Shawndra Turner and she is not only a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend but a COURAGEOUS FIGHTER! She is fighting with every ounce of her to conquer the cancer that has taken residence in her abdomen. This young woman is sharing every small detail of her incredible journey through her blog. I am only one of the millions of people that read her blog daily. I find myself drawn to read every entry she has whether it is a quick funny story about her day, a heartbreaking story about test results, or a detailed and "uncensored" story of her daily life while beating this awful disease. Shawndra, like so many others wants the world to know that cancer is affecting people much younger than the "typical" cancer patient. It is stealing the lives of women and men just entering the high point of life. Shawndra will be a guest in your audience on November 8th and it is my wish along with so many others that she has even just a minute to share her passion with you! She is one young cookie that could save the lives of millions...but even if it is just one it will be worth it! Be looking for this vibrant red head along with her sister! She deserves the world! This CANCER will just have to pack up and leave...because Shawndra is not going to let it take over!!!
Sincerely,
Becky Latshaw, Faithful Shawndra Turner Fan and Prayer Warrior
We are your extended family. We are your friends. Even those of us whom you have never met. We hold you in our thoughts and our prayers. We share your story with others. You are a part of our lives for which we are most grateful.
Lydia
You rock girl!!!! You make the world a better place! I am very thankful for coming across your blog and you are a part of my every day! Much love and prayers from a total stranger!
Shawndra, I just love reading your blog. You seem like such a great person and someone I would be best friends with.
I pray for you daily and keep up on your life, praying for your miracle.
Thank you for being so positive. It is truely inspirational and makes me appreciate my life even more as well.
I know you will be a survivor!!!
Hugs and prayers,
a friend from Olathe
I'M SO HAPPY WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY.
LOVE,
ROSWITA -LEAVING TO BRAZIL, TAKING YOU IN MY HEART AND PRAYERS.
Your story is great! Who knows if she meant to state that, at that moment, but the fact that she did makes for funny stuff. Your family might blush for a sec. but their humor ranks right up there with the best so don't worry too much. I am SOOOOO happy to hear you are feeling good lately. Keep that thought, just as you ssid. Funny how you can be thankful for an illness. I am not happy you are sick, however it has given me ( I am not exclusive to this statement just wording it this way) the chance to reconnect with the family. I can almost remeber, like it was just a short time ago, the day you were born. It's kinda a fuuny story and one of these days I will share it with you. So from that perspective, your cancer has rekindled old and created new friendships. How lucky for all of us to be a part. The key will be to always......no matter how busy life gets......to remember all of this, apply it daily, and be thankful for what we have.
Shawndra,
Your posts never cease to amaze me. I only hope that if I am ever faced with something like you are going through that I too could have such a positive attitude about it. Your ability to laugh and be completely open and honest with total strangers is awesome. I LOVE checking your blog to see what's going on with you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that God will continue to give you days of feeling healthy and I hope that you can fly right through next week and not skip a beat. Keep the laughs coming!!
Hi Shawndra! So funny : ) I had a good laugh and needed that after seeing young tender children who are in foster care (for good reason) in the last 24 hrs.... but I tell you I pray every day for them...
I am so looking forward to our visit tomorrow. What about Deanna Rose instead of my house? They close in a week...? call me?
xo ADL
Hi Shawndra! I like so many others have never met you in person but I feel like I know you well. My young cousin was diagnosed with cancer and I said, "you should read my friend Shawndra's blog. I mean I have never met her but I feel like I know her so well."
Thank you so much for sharing this journey with all of your fans. I am sorry that you are the one suffering the pain but I am glad that you were chosen as Gods messenger. I will be writing a letter to Oprah, she really needs to know that an amazing person will be in her audience on November 8th. I will be watching for you. Stay strong, you are in my prayers daily!
Michelle
Shawndra, You continue to amaze me with your humor and positive attitude towards your cancer. I love that you are my neighbor and that I get to not only read your blog daily but also see you and your family often. I think that God had a reason for moving you next to me, and we will be frinds for life!! Sorry I missed the "shopping spree" yesterday. I heard you all got lots of good stuff!!!!!Keep living your life girlfriend, you are amazing. You are touching more people than you will ever know with your spirit. Lots of love, Jenny
Shawndra, thank you for being you...humble, human and honest and most of all an inspiration! My prayers continue for you and your family, COURAGE beyond measure, I seek out your blog every chance I have!
My email has been sent off to Oprah, I am convinced she will understand how strongly we feel about your appearance on her show, even for a few minutes would be a true message!
Marking my calendar to be in front of my TV on Nov. 8th....I make an honest effort to hurry home from work each day to see her show, and Nov. 8th it will be even more important! Prayers continue for you! Barb in PA
Hi Shawndra,
I loved your entry...it sounds like you are feeling well and happy, and that makes me so happy, too!! You are the inspiration, Shawndra, whether you realize it or not. You have made me look at my own life in ways I never have, and to be grateful for the small things in life. The other day I was thinking that I'd love to win the lottery (I think that alot, actually!)...but this time it was because I remember you writing that if you did, you and Doug and Ella could just be a family. No working. If I won, you'd have that, my friend!
Have a wonderful weekend...you'll be in my thoughts and prayers as always.
Prayers and love to you, my friend.
Michelle
Shawndra,
I have found your blog through the blog that Chris Ireland keeps for Jennifer Ireland. I'm also a 31 year-old mom, and I can't imagine having to go through what you do on a daily basis. After reading your post today, I thanked God for my health (which I admittedly have taken for granted) and I thanked Him for you and your wonderful spirit. You are an inspiration and are helping us all to live more fulfilled lives. I hope you continue to feel healthy! I know one day you will be for the long term.
I promise to get to Oprah this weekend! I read this quote on another blog today and thought of you! (It really applies to all of us!):
“Concretely, abandonment to the will of God consists of finding HIS purpose for you in all the people, events, and circumstances you encounter. If God tears up your beautiful game plan and leads you into a valley instead of onto a mountaintop, it is because He wants you to discover HIS plan, which is more beautiful than anything you or I could have dreamed up. The response of trust is “Thank you, Jesus,” even if it is said through clenched teeth.” ~Brennen Manning
I CONTINUE TO PRAY EACH AND EVERY DAY FOR YOU SHAWNDRA...U INSPIRE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THIS LIFE EACH AND EVERY DAY...I AM A HEALTHY 47 YEAR OLD WOMAN THAT HAS BEEN WIDOWED FOR 9 YEARS ON OCT 29. EACH DAY IS A BRIGHTER DAY THANKS TO U AND YOUR WONDERFUL WORDS....HAVE A BLESSED DAY DEAR ONE AND KEEP ON SMILING AS GOD IS SMILING RIGHT ON U......YOUR ANGEL IN KC, MO JEN MILLER
Shawndra;
For one, I am very glad that you were happy with my letter to Oprah; I hope it can help make one of your dreams come true!
Two; I am also a red head, so your therapy story made me laugh and brought on a few memories of embarrasing stories from my past :)
If you ever want to chat, you can catch me at tshover@gmail.com.
God Bless You & Your Family,
Terra
Shawdra~ That was too funny about the therapist! I am so glad to hear that you get to go on the Oprah show.....that will be a great time for you and your sister. I know you hear this a lot, but you are SO amazing the way you live your life day to day with ALL of the ups and downs you must be going through. Keep up that fight...........you have so much to live for and such an awesome support system out there cheering you on.
Praying for you always,
Brigette
Shawndra, I was about to fall out of my chair at the office when I read your story. Now that was funny!!!!!!!!!! You gotta laugh at it. I too wrote to Oprah and sent my letter to the producer that I worked with when I was on the show. Not sure if that will get it noticed any better but I hope so. I am smiling right now thinking of you going and having a ball with Andrea. You guys have a ball. You are a hero girl!!! You are a fighter and you are a survivor!!! My new ending for my messages will be: Still got that feeling and I trust it!!! Love ya. Melodie Chrisman
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